John Cool

Or perhaps... It's fun to be at the H-M-R-C. It's fun to be at the H-M-R-C. They'll take everything that you need to get by, They're gonna hang you out to dry ...

My thoughts exactly. Competing with West Ham for top spot is a great focus that ultimately will help us secure a top 2 finish.

£1.35m sounds about right. He's been so good for us it's hard to think why the Celtic fans thought he was pants. Perhaps it was the climate or the diet affecting his performance?

His scoring record http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lukas_Jutkiewicz is no great shakes. Assists maybe?

To the tune of Go West by the Pet Shop Boys... Go bust, if you're wearing blue Go bust, if you're wearing blue Go bust, if you're wearing blue Go bust, if you're wearing blue (repeat ad nauseum)

We used to be famous for not being relegated, hence this entry in that literary masterpiece Roger's Profanisaurus... do a Southampton v. sim. To score and stay up when you haven't really got it in you.

The one anothersaintinsouthsea mentioned, Saints 0 Leeds 3, August 1999: Mark Hughes hits an unstoppable rocket straight into the net, but a combination of the compact dimensions of The Dell and the power of the shot, it rebounded off the advertising hoardings behind the net and the ref didn't give the goal. I was postioned behind the goal at the time so the mistake was obvious to me. I may or may not have said some rude words.

Stalin got there first. And he had a top tache. I think our players should all grow moustaches for Movember http://uk.movember.com/

I'm believin' in The Fox I'm believin' in Danny Fox http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sq8VDXlWQk

This would be fun (over the tannoy or sung by the fans)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbRCuE-14f4 Digger dagger digger dagger digger dagger digger dagger We are top of the league Digger dagger digger dagger digger dagger digger dagger Champions supreme

Buy Jos from Celtic and get a centre forward on loan. That'll do me, Schumy.

To the tune of "Brown Girl In The Ring" Morgan Schneiderlin, tra la la la la Morgan Schneiderlin, traaaa la la la la la Morgan Schneiderlin, tra la la la la He's French and he's got a sexy bum (bum bum) Might want to change the last line

I think we'll do Boro 2-0, and our cocks will be crowing the day after

I was thinking of "Amazing Grace"... Wa-ard Prowse, Wa-ar-ard Prowse, Ward Prowse, Ward Prowse Wa-ard Prowse, Wa-ar-ard Prowse, Ward Prowse Wa-ard Prowse, Wa-ar-ard Prowse, Ward Prowse, Ward Prowse Wa-ard Prowse, Wa-ar-ard Prowse, Ward Prowse

If selected, I don't think Rickie would let the side down. However, his selection is about as likely as the Queen smelling the fart I've just done.

To the tune of Land of Hope and Glory: "We hate Nottingham Forest, We hate West Brom too, We hate Man United, but Southampton we love you" Actually I don't think we've got anything against Forest. Just an old terrace chant.

7-1-2 is a bitehandoff start

Great interview. Nige is Mr. Positive and that's fine by me. He was also very clear about not tolerating disruptive players which confirms that Jason Puncheon won't play for us again (no surprise there).

The Times Fink Tank has us as red hot favourites for automatic promotion... Southampton 64% Middlesboro 36% West Ham 35% Cardiff 18% Brighton 10% Reading 9% Birmingham 8% Leicester 6% Blackpool 5% Leeds 3% Nottm Forest 1% Hull 1% Millwall 1% Watford 1% Peterboro 1% Burnley 1% C Palace 0% Derby 0% Portsmouth 0% Ipswich 0% Coventry 0% Bristol City 0% Barnsely 0% Doncaster 0%

Great stuff going forward from Nigel Adkins' Red And White Goal Machine. We were lucky to concede only once, but I could live with 4-2

You won't regret a small tattoo such as the aforementioned "crest on the upper arm", and it won't harm your chances with girls (who may or may not have tattoos in interesting places)....

5 wins out of 6, as Sebastian Vettel would say "Yes baby! This is what I'm talking about!" - that'll definitely do me, Schumi

My entrails say 5th.

All 1980s I think: Joan Jett - I love Do Prado... Aerosmith - Radh looks like a Lady! Guns 'n' Roses - Oh, sweet Schneiderline Living in a Box - I'm livin' in a Fox, I'm livin' in a Danny Fox Prince - She wore a Bialkowski beret Queen - All we hear is Adam Lallana Michael Jackson - 'Cause it's de Ridder, on the right, And no one's gonna save you, From the beast about to strike

I've always liked Brighton and was genuinely surprised when a Seagull mate at work told me how angry they were with Adkins' (playful) remarks. Maybe Desmond Morris has the answer http://ebookee.org/Desmond-Morris-1981-The-Soccer-Tribe_866744.html ?