benjii

As you say, it will be JWP or Ings, unless we sign someone better. I think the question of the impact of VAR on the number of penalties is an interesting one. It will also be interesting to see if the laws are applied consistently throughout the season or if there is an initial peak then a tailing off (like shirt pulls at corners, which were penalised quite vigorously for a few weeks before being ignored again). I hope we don't get to a situation where manufactured contact with the hand/arm is resulting in lots of penalties. It will ruin the sport.

He's talking ****e and he's confused by the credit facility we take out every year.

I've always assumed it's the sort of person who wears a tracksuit shopping. It might also be fat, sofa ******s.

Worst player since Ali Dia.

So, basically, he's got no money or intelligible strategy. Great stuff.

Those ones that crimp the paper so it tears too easily. Very annoying.

Don't get me wrong, I like girls and I like football. I also like elephants. Interesting animals. Wouldn't watch them on the TV trying to play football though.

Van Dyke?

Couldn't care less.

Another driving one: - those absolute tools that move over to the right before turning left, or vice versa. Just turn the ****ing wheel properly you dumb-ass.

BBC Breakfast is a fair shout. Watched it for the first time in ages a while ago and concluded it must be aimed at children and/or mentally challenged.

Will get completely overrun in midfield, give the ball away cheaply and concede loads of goals. Like this season.

Do we call "press conferences" when we sign a player? Is Terry Hurlock going to jump out the back of a Transit and give The Echo an exclusive?

There's an Under 12s player called Harrison Harris-Harrison and Gabbana.

I, for one, never begrudged Kayne McLaggon his move to Salisbury City.

Is it pronounced - Chay - Shay - Que - Chee - C - K - Mickey ?

I've got a chant: Oooohhh, Mousa Djenepo Oooohhh, Mousa Djenepo What do you think, Saints fans?

I've just seen him in Hedge End McDonald's.

Sounds fairly accurate to me. Pretty sure Koeman wanted Pelle, Tadic, Aldeweireld etc.

You're supposed to have a picture of a hanging lantern if you're doling out token Ramadan Kareems or Eid Mubaraks. #amateur

Corbyn = knob. Trump = knob.

On route Mischeeevious

Yeah, I use Chrome on my phone. It's fine

It's quite common. There are quite a few celebrity death pools, I think. It's like Fantasy Football League.

#letsgaowild