Lighthouse

Straight swap? Dream on. This could end up like the Jones/John or Bridge/Le Saux transfers where it’s not officially p/ex. But kind of is.

If Shane Long falls over in the box and there’s nobody near him, does he still make a sound?

I’ve heard he’s got three houses on Park Lane, so he can probably afford to take a pay cut.

Indeed. I’ve just read that Chelsea and Arsenal are getting 6,000 tickets each or the Europa final. That’s it, the rest of the ground - corporate.

No more dangerous than alcohol or using a mobile phone.

I've got a decent slow press juicer, it's magic. If anyone's got one - Carrot, kiwi, ginger, pear and kale. It's the future!

Probably that the Royals are pompous, posh and out dated, who’s role is little more than being paraded around for the media and public like performing circus animals. I’m not saying it’s funny but that was clearly the intended punchline. The fact that the 25% black baby is a monkey, whilst his 50% black mother is a snooty looking, upper middle class white woman, means it doesn’t actually make any sense as a racial jibe.

No problem, in accordance with your own beliefs, I will now ban you for my misinterpretation

So the Beeb are going to sack everyone they employ who's a bit stupid? Could take a while. Yeah, I must support racism because I don't think Danny Baker deserved to lose his job. You stay classy Tim.

Actually it's neither. He has been fired for not realising that a joke could be misinterpreted. Welcome to 2019; People are being sacked for saying something with zero malice aforethought. He should have just been allowed to delete the tweet, explain what he meant and we can all move on.

I don’t know about ‘obviously funny’ but the point of the tweet was quite obviously calling the royal baby a chimp and not black people as a race. I have no doubt that there are prominent media personalities who may think along those lines but the idea that a broadcaster and entertainer would knowingly say something so blatant, knowing it would be the end of his career, is ridiculous. Even Nick Griffin wouldn’t tweet something is blatant as, "black people are monkeys," so why you think Danny Baker would I don’t know.

Baker has always been a bit of a tit but I think this falls into Hodgson/Townsend category of wilful misinterpretation. Nobody genuinely thinks he is calling (25%) black people monkeys but they’re willing to pretend they do so they can get offended.

We were sat front right and the three suited gentlemen there, with the camera, were from SNN doing a short piece. The pitch gets relaid every summer anyway. I’m hoping they stick some of the turf in the car park again because I’ve been landscaping the bottom of my garden and the grass seed I’ve bought seems a bit useless. Austin seems to be channeling his inner Aguero, let’s see if it pays off for him.

3-3 with Liverpool when Pahars equalised, also the 3-2 win from 2-0 down under Koeman. It sounds silly now but beating MK Dons from 2-0 down was pretty special, as was beating Millwall when we went into stoppage time 2-1 down.

We’re Southampton fans, I’m pretty sure we could write a script about a team losing a game in the last minute of injury time.

Redmond, PEH and Yoshi should be a priority. Bertrand too, providing he wants to be here.

Barca could really do with a decent centre half, who’s strong, quick and good in the air but also composed on the ball. Can anybody think of one?

Prove what? There is literally not one redeeming attribute I can name for Elyounoussi.

You mean that season we did actually spend a few quid on a striker?

The club have already said he signed on loan ahead of a permanent move in summer, I’ve no idea why people think otherwise. If someone is privy to different ITK info then fair enough but otherwise it’s just wishful thinking.

They deliberately don’t because that’s a waste of exciting fixtures. When the title hinges on Liverpool vs Wolves and Brighton vs City, that’s a bonus for Sky. Two fixtures your average fan wouldn’t usually be that bothered about.

I can’t see anyone coming in for Ralph this summer after half a season here and narrowly avoiding the drop. Howe, Garcia, Santo and Benitez have all been consistently performing for longer and may feel they’ve achieved all they can at their respective clubs.

No doubting they could and probably wish they had. Merely pointing out that Liverpool can and did sign him, for a fee which beats City's record signing by a good £15m.

It's not really about who 'deserves' what, it purely a question of how much money people spend and how well they invest it. Liverpool really aren't that far behind Man City in terms of what they can spend, no matter how much they bleat about it. In the last year and a bit they've bought the worlds most expensive defender and goalkeeper, then bought Keita for up to £60m. Even the likes of Lovren and Lallana would have been £40m and £50m in today's money. 4 years ago, when City bought Sterling, I would have agreed they're are at an unfair advantage. Now though, could you honestly see City signing Salah or Virgil?

Have you got some evidence behind your story? Lord knows I'm no fan of Robinson but the video I've seen was of a young guy pushing past others to shout stuff in his face, before later throwing a milkshake.