Pastor Patrón

Clearly we have a much deeper squad you utter spastics. We're second with our best CB, best striker, and most expensive midfielder all out and players like Wanyama and Gardos are still struggling to get a game. Our squad is class apart from GK cover, an extra striker until Jays back would've been nice but then we'd have had too many when he's back.

Wanyama is fuking brilliant

Never mind eh champ, I'm sure I can live with myself. It's not as if I'm a middle aged man get worked up on an Internet forum

He's a new signing, he has to earn my approval not get given it by default. Same with all of the new players, except Mane because he has the best name ever so is my favourite player.

Couldn't stand him in the first few games but I love strikers that score and he's certainly starting to do that. Keep up this form and he'll be a hell of a signing, don't care how he does it or what the rest of his game is like, as long as he keeps putting the ball in the back of the net he's doing his job. Hope he can hit double figures asap to keep his confidence flowing.

Great start, looking like we could steamroll them today

It's because I'm brolic as fuk so everyone knows not to pop off when I'm at games. You're welcome.

Just saying, if I was an ex footballer running the length of the country I could raise more then 50k. Clearly something has gone wrong in his fundraising process as he wanted raise a milli.

Of course, but then he's probably bored out of his mind as most people don't retire in their mid 30's. It was more that I just expected him to still at least have some contact with the current first team and the football world so got annoyed by the clear lack of donations from anyone in those circles. It seems he'd be much better off having a whip around among them. Like I say though, well done to him, it's a hell of an achievement.

Whilst it's an honourable thing to do, the idea of footballers asking for money for charity irks me somewhat. Like with the Billy Sharp thing, they're all earning tens of thousands of pounds a week, as are their colleagues yet ask the general public for money. I just think well how about f#ck off, if you and your team mates donate a decent chunk of your wages to it, especially considering they have enormous amount of spare money compared to an average joe, maybe I'll donate as well. That said, well done Franny lol.

So to confirm we've signed no one and loaned our record signing to a rival? Good effort.

He's an outstandingly talented player, but tbf he has done absolutely f#ck all during his time here. It's still ridiculous loaning a £12mill player to a rival club though, that's just moronic.

I'm still considerably more excited about shouting "DAS IT MANE" then laughing to myself whenever he does anything good, then perhaps I should be. That will literally never grow old. He's officially my new favourite player, just smashing.

This would literally be the best signing of the summer for this reason alone. Brb getting a new saints shirt, getting it tailored into a singlet, getting Das-it-mane on the back. Good job Reed and the recruitment team.

It really is astonishingly hard to care anymore.

You are proper weird bro

It's been said a thousand times already but one more won't hurt. Jesus christ we're a joke this summer.

That was cash as f#ck. We're a centre back and centre forward short of being as good as last year, Pelle is appalling. For what should've been the hardest game of the season we looked superb, just needed a striker. It's all about points though, lets get 3 of them next week.

That was cash as f#ck. We're a centre back and centre forward short of being as good as last year, Pelle is appalling. For what should've been the hardest game of the season we looked superb, just needed a striker. It's all about points though, lets get 3 of them next week.

Pelle's a complete waste of time as a lone striker. Tadic is looking pretty sick though.

Pelle's a complete waste of time as a lone striker. Tadic is looking pretty sick though.

F#ck Lamberts old ass, you reached your sell by date bruh we tried to sell you to West Ham. Pretending we still wanted him, he needs to sit his belittling ass down before he misses another penalty and embarrasses himself some more.

F#ck Lamberts old ass, you reached your sell by date bruh we tried to sell you to West Ham. Pretending we still wanted him, he needs to sit his belittling ass down before he misses another penalty and embarrasses himself some more.

Premiership experience means sod all, he's only mentioning it because there's not a lot of other positives he could say other than "well he's under 30 and has 2 legs". Resale value is also extremely important for a club of our size, the whole idea of being a sustainable club is to buy good players, then sell them for a huge profit when they become extremely good players. Not spunk 21mill on 2 mediocre strikers who're 29 and 27. We should be hoovering up the best young players from the lower leagues, I mentioned Will Hughes before who would've been perfect for us. As hilarious as it is to make Jordan Rhodes jokes I'd have have had him and Ings over Pelle and Long anyday and I'm pretty sure their wages would've been lower too.