Secret Site Agent

Ok here is mine. Mrs SSA: the toilet is doing that thing again where it wont stop flushing. You need to do something as it's wasting water and we aren't made of money. I thought you had sorted it last time. Me: Ok i'll just get my tools and have a look. I think it's just the plunger sticking on the side of the cistern again. It;ll take two minutes. Mrs SSA: we can't be wasting water and I don't think it is healthy either. You need to sort it out. It's not just the flsushing but the noise too. Me: I'm just getting my tools. Mrs SSA: I don't know why it does it, it shouldn't you know. The old one didn't do it. I hate to think how much money we waste. You need to get it done. I preferred the handle thingy, as the button ones are stupid. I reckon the quick flush uses the same amount of water. Me: One uses 3 litres, the big flush uses 6 litres. Mrs SSA:So what's the point of that.How stupid. Who's stupid idea is it anyway. It's probably just a money making scheme. Me: Bruce Thompson. He was an Aussie. Mrs SSA: Don't call me sarkie. Me: I said AUSSIE. One uses 3 litres for wee wee, the other uses 6 litres for poos. Mrs SSA: The little one is ok for both in my mind. The big one is a waste. And when it just keeps flushing and wasting water, we're wasting money. You have to fix it, we can't afford to waste money. Me: I'm fixing it now. There I was right, the plunger housing is pushing on the side of the cistern tank. Mrs SSA: I still don't see why we couldn't keep the old one. Me: The old one used too much water. Water equals money as you just said. Mrs SSA: Shut up. Don't have a go at me. Me: i'm not, I'm just saying. Mrs SSA: How much. Me: What? Mrs SSA: How much water. Me: The old one, about 15 litres. This one, is 6 maximum. Mrs SSA: How much is that then? me: 15 lites is 15 of the small pints of milk. 6 is obviously 6 pints of milk. Mrs SSA: Don't take the mickey. Me: It's fixed now. Mrs SSA: Good, it's about time you sorted it, because when the toilet is doing that thing again where it wont stop flushing, it's wasting water and we aren't made of money. I thought you had sorted it last time, you had better sorted it now, because when the toilet is doing that thing again where it wont stop flushing, it's wasting water wasting money . I get the point. I got it the first time she said it. Women, Can't live with them, can't murder them either for the insurence money.

Well, not so much stressful, more sad at the lack of oportunity to gain fame and riches in later life by use of the legal route. Or, to be truthful, perhaps a chubby, asthmatic, curley haired little boy just didn't do it for him. I was one UGLY child. n

Ok, how about this then. I was the first aider on the scene when a crane went over on a job in Havent and a feller lost his leg. The crane missed me by about a metre, and I had to talk to the feller trapped, who was the banksman, until he was uncounscous so the doctor could cut off of his leg. My dog died last year and I got hit with a 2 grand bill as my pet insurence only covered 4000 of the 6000 bill. I am paying back the taxman this year as, by some fluke of nature, their computer didn't continue with my allowence for a company car, yet as they told me within 3 days less of a full year after the computer **** up, the will not write it off. Out of 36000 employees, mine was the one malfunction. i was the site manger when Kate Winslett and her sister B eth opened the lecture theatre at Reading university, and someone stole the toilet from the ladies when she had a pee. When I was 6 I was in Hospital and Gary Glitter came to visit the hospital. Although I was touched when he sat on my bed, I was never touched, but the boy in the next bed was, (i must have been one UGLY child). I could go on, but like I said, some interesting, some stressful, some funny.

Hi Gemmel, my condolences to you. I lost my dog this time last year. We got her when she was a puppy and she was 15 when she died. She had been a little unsteady on her pins the last few years, but was still sprightly and still went out for her wees and poos in the back garden and used to hang out with the Rabiits in their run. She suddenly just lead in her basket and wouldn't get up one day. That led to a visit to the vets and I got a phone call on a Friday that she had two shadows on her X-Ray that they thought was cancer. Had to make the decision there and then if to let then put her down or operate. We chose the operation route, as we wanted to give her the best chance at life, and the shadows turned out to be stones - she always dug up stones and droped them for you to throw for her, and had swollowed two of them. Unfortunatly she didn't get better after the operation,and our vets got us to take her on the Friday to the Emergency vets in Winchester. We discharged her on Sunday afternoon, and on the Monday I had to make the decision to have her put down at home. I've always been able to keep a stiff upper lip at best through a lot of muck, **** and bullets and have cried likea baby three times in my adult life, once when my Mum died, once when my baby daughter was in hospital, and once when my dog was put down. Man up? ********. Perfectly normal. And if you met me, there is not many that would tell me to man up to my face. And my pet insurence didn't cover her full treatment and left me paying 2 grand to two different Vets, which I am paying off now. So get good pet insurence and check the small print is my advice.

I'm one of those people that **** seems to happen too. I have, just to restrict it to the last year on my current contract: Had a guy on site die from a heart attack, on a safety boat. Had a druggy break into my office and threaten me with a knife to get somethign to sell for drugs. Had a joy rider drive his car into the scaffolding on site had a boat sink, which we had to rescue Had a concrete capping beam and sheet piles collapse leaving a big hole Been flooded with a 1 in 1000 year flood/tidal event. Recieved complaints that our works were making a womans wall get wet and dry, and now she thinks her house is haunted, (we must be putting flood defences on an old indian buriel ground). Had eastern europeans ****ting and ****ing on the site, not workers, but locals. Been 'raided' by the DHSS looking for soemone I have never heard off that I employed as a Tele-sales Representative (and they wouldn't get it through their heads that, on a Civil Engineering construction site, that is wrong on so many levels) Been involved in searching for three dead bodies in the river, from missing persons to suicide Rescued a Fawn, (that's a baby deer to some of you) from the River, only to have the RSPCA inspector say that if it was healthy, they would only put it down. (Luckily she explained, in words of one sylable, that I had to be careful it didn't escape before she arrived on site. And, do you know what, it did escape). Been to a nightclub and had my foreman dancing with the a beatiful, tall leggy blond with big bosoms, who would not look out of place in a magazine, apart from the fact that she is 7 foot tall. Some people just have interesting lives.

No I think he means that you should have the undertaking to approach, advise and guide the futute of the club, based on the fact you wish to give a big dividend to our non-existant shareholders is a great starting strategy. What was project ******** anyway? Is that the one where the team wear the pretty dresses, whilst they do their little turn on the catwalk? And who are these gullible newcomer fans? Is newcomer FC in the prenmiership now? Would they lend me £100? Will they buy my majic beans for a fiver? This is what you do, take someone's statement and warp it. You ask the question, How many do you think will be sold if any?. Saint Garret tells you, so answers the question. Then you bearate him with: Who are we getting in? Zippy, Bungle and Frodo? What the **** do you want? This is your fred, pal, don't get upset because people are singing your tune. And I agree with Garret, except for Guly do Prado and Gazzaniga - I don't think they will get better offers than what they have now, and they fill a gap for us, but are very poor filling it. They not the quality we want at this level, but how can you entice soemone of quality to be second and third choice? Unless they are very green or in the twilight of their careers and very expensive.

I would vote for the Pompey Bandits, inn the hope that they would be sponsored by RS Components. So they could become the Pompey R S Bandits.

Poor bastard, i really feel for him. It's just not fair. Hell be 29 the next time around, still young enough for 1 world cup. All the best Jay Rod, get well soon mate.

Ponch: (in English) The linesman killed the game. Adam Blackmore: I don't want to get you in trouble, but we are furious and we are not the manager. Ponch:(in English)Yes,er Si.(in Spanish) The blody linesman is a cock. I could kill him with both hands, the ****ing *****. And the ref could see it on the big screen. Thye just wanted Man City to win. The ****s. (later in thr FA offices): FA: Mr Pochettino, we are looking to fine you twenty thousand pounds and a five week touchline ban for calling the officials at the Man City game names. Have you anythiung to say? Ponch: Er, Yez. My,a, Interporture 'e is, how you say, a little upset and 'e ,um, get wrong what I say. I think it was 'is own opinion, nota mine, you Honour. i justa comment on, a, much sadness. FA: Case dismissed. He's cleverer than I though:lol:

It was £30 million in the Mirror last week. Apart from that almost word for word what the Mirror put.

Well done Reg,i'm behind you 100 %.

****, he's one of them is he? Well, it'll be good to see someone with a bit of fire on the pitch, as long as he don't keep getting yellow carded and he avoids wimmin on the pitch with shoes in their hands:lol: (Another vague reference for those in the know).

Seriously, what the hell are you on about? it doesn't bother you, but 9th isn't good enough? And whose honest and transparent? The OP? The last Poster? The club? What is it you want? and how do you see yourself adding to the debate? Are you saying that Lallana is still here because we won the Johnsons paint trophy? Or that if we don't win anything the players wil go? What? Clarify yourself man, or but out of the conversation. Me, i'm happy where we are, much improvement year on year. I would like to think we could get Ossie back, or a replacement that can add that etra something up front, but we are getting better and that is all we can ask. I remember taking my little girl to her first game on 25 Apr 2009, to see us draw with Burnley at home. I told my wife I was taking her to see Saints as it may be the last time we see them, as they may be gone. 5 years later we are playing in the Premiership again. If history taught us anything it that it could be worse.

He'll probably make sure he doesn't make the same mistake and takes a quick look at their names instead on the back of their shirts. And will then accidently send off Jay Rodriguez instead of Gaston Ramirez.

**** sake

Batards We deserved a draw at least.

Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkk Going to go and watch Columbo. FFS.

Newcastle did it yesterday. Come on Saints, lets do it too

Also, we seem to be the only team getting injured, cheating bastards

Getting the ball forward, Sammy coming on, keeping possion. Just a little luck in the last 5.

Just ned a little luck. Trying to get back into it, ref isn't allowing these robust challenges

I don't normally winge at you but what do you do, wait until you get a text saying it's 2-2 then decide to log on? So easy to destroy, so difficult to create. Again.

Mopo There screaming Vete a la mierda hasta allí y comenzar a conseguir detrás de ellos. Mantener la posesión y el trabajo que en el cuadro de. Because, of course, he don't speak english:lol:

Looks like the ref is getting wise to their 'Robust challenges'

Get up. Same challenge for their second, and we get booked.