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RonManager
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I can't believe there hasn't been a thread or ten on the forum on this topic before, but what the hay, here's your starter for 10.

 

 

Ian Dury - There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards (lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)

 

Einstein can't be classed as witless,

He claimed atoms were the littlest,

But when they did a bit of splittiness,

It frightened everybody sh1tless ...... etc etc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh...... Segovia

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"Shipman, Bin Laden, Stilgoe, Haystacks

They were all hiding something and that's an actual fact

'Whispering' Bob Harris - why was his voice so soft?

Had he murdered a prositute up in his loft?"

 

Men With Beards (What Are They Hiding?) - **** & The Gang

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Well the dish is too hot

you'll never guess what

I've got Joy Division oven gloves

If it's her desire

I'll put my fingers in the fire

'Cos I've got Joy Division oven gloves

I've got Joy Division oven gloves

 

Ooh ooh tropical diseases

Ooh ooh chemical alarm

Ooh ooh I'm a little blasé

In me Joy Division oven gloves

In me Joy Division oven gloves

 

Joy Division oven gloves - Half Man Haldf Biscuit

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So close no matter how far

couldn't be much more from the heart

forever trusting who we are

and nothing else matters

 

never opened myself this way

life is ours, we live it our way

all these words I don't just say

and nothing else matters

 

trust I seek and I find in you

every day for us something new

open mind for a different view

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

but I know

 

so close no matter how far

couldn't be much more from the heart

forever trusting who we are

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

but I know

 

never opened myself this way

life is ours, we live it our way

all these words I don't just say

 

trust I seek and I find in you

every day for us something new

open mind for a different view

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they say

never cared for games they play

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

and I know

 

so close no matter how far

couldn't be much more from the heart

forever trusting who we are

no nothing else matters

 

 

This will be the song the GF and I use as our wedding song fo sho

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"Vacuum cleaner sucks up budgie..........

Bye-Bye"

The Clash, The Magnificent 7

 

 

"Me and my girl, seal clubbing.

Me and my girl, out on the ice"

Half Man Half Biscuit, Seal Clubbing

 

 

"And she bangs like the sh@thouse door when the plague's in town"

The Macc Lads, Julie the schooly

 

 

"Like a dog lying in the corner,

they will bite you and never warn you, look out.

They'll tear your insides out.

 

'Cause everybody hates a tourist,

especially one that thinks it's all such a laugh, ( oh yeah),

and the chip stains and grease will come out in the bath.

 

You will never understand, how it feels to live your life,

with no meaning or control, and with nowhere left to go.

 

You are amazed that they exist,

and they burn so bright that you can only wonder why".

Pulp, Common People

Edited by badgerx16
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"I had an uncle who once played,

For Red Star Belgrade"

- Billy Bragg

 

I believe that this alludes to his uncle being a homosexual, but may be wrong.

 

"Its a waste of time if you know what they mean

*Try shaking a box in front of the queen

cause her purse is fat and bursting at the seams

Its a waste of time if you know what they mean"

 

* I actually said this to someone at work today who asked me to sponsor her. She had not a clue what I was on about!

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"Ambition makes you look pretty ugly.

Kicking, squealing, Gucci little piggy"

 

"You can laugh your spineless laugh.

We hope your rules and wisdom choke you."

 

"This machine will not communicate,

these thoughts and the strain I am under."

 

"Calm.

Fitter.

Happier.

A pig, in a cage, on anti-biotics".

 

"You look so tired and unhappy,

bring down the Government.

They don't,- they don't speak for us".

 

"Riot shields, voodoo economics.

It's just business, cattle prods and the I.M.F.

I trust I can rely on your vote".

 

All courtesy of Thom Yorke and his chums.

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So close no matter how far

couldn't be much more from the heart

forever trusting who we are

and nothing else matters

 

never opened myself this way

life is ours, we live it our way

all these words I don't just say

and nothing else matters

 

trust I seek and I find in you

every day for us something new

open mind for a different view

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

but I know

 

so close no matter how far

couldn't be much more from the heart

forever trusting who we are

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

but I know

 

never opened myself this way

life is ours, we live it our way

all these words I don't just say

 

trust I seek and I find in you

every day for us something new

open mind for a different view

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they say

never cared for games they play

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

and I know

 

so close no matter how far

couldn't be much more from the heart

forever trusting who we are

no nothing else matters

 

 

This will be the song the GF and I use as our wedding song fo sho

 

Quality song

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You see you should take me seriously.

Very seriously indeed.

Cause I've been sleeping with your wife for the past sixteen weeks,

smoking your cigarettes,

drinking your brandy,

messing up the bed that you chose together.

And in all that time I just wanted you to come home unexpectedly one afternoon,

and catch us at it in the front room.

You see I spy for a living,

and I specialise in revenge,

on taking the things I know will cause you pain.

I can't help it,

I was dragged up.

My favourite parks are car parks,

grass is something you smoke,

birds are something you ****.

Take your "Year in Provence"

and shove it up your arse.

 

 

Pulp, I Spy

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Star Trekkin' across the universe,

On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

Only going forward 'cause we can't find reverse.

 

Lt. Uhura, report.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;

there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

 

Analysis, Mr. Spock.

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;

it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

 

 

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;

there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

 

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

Only going forward, still can't find reverse.

 

Medical update, Dr. McCoy.

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;

it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

 

 

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;

it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

 

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;

there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

 

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk:

Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;

we come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men.

 

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;

it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

 

Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;

it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

 

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;

there's Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape 'em off, Jim.

 

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

Only going forward, and things are getting worse!

 

Engineer, Mr. Scott:

Ye cannot change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics;

ye cannot cahnge the laws of physics, laws of physics, Jim.

 

Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;

we come in peace, shoot to kill; Scotty, beam me up!

 

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;

it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

 

Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;

it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

 

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;

there's Klingons on the starboard bow, better calm down!

 

Ye cannot change the script Jim.

Och, #!*& Jimmy.

 

It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim.

 

Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.

 

Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, Cap'n!

 

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

Only going forward 'cause we can't find reverse.

 

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,

Only going forward, still can't find reverse.

 

The Firm

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Im gonna have little lucifer,

running off to purgatory,

with his tail between his legs,

Im gonna teach him a lesson...

he's never gonna forget.

All the vultures & crows are fixin up some tombstones

They wont be chewing the meat off my bones.

 

Mercy Beat - The The

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"AT SEVENTEEEN
"

By Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen

That love was meant for beauty queens

And high school girls with clear skinned smiles

Who married young and then retired

The valentines I never knew

The Friday night charades of youth

Were spent on one more beautiful

At seventeen I learned the truth...

 

And those of us with ravaged faces

Lacking in the social graces

Desperately remained at home

Inventing lovers on the phone

Who called to say "come dance with me"

And murmured vague obscenities

It isn't all it seems at seventeen...

 

A brown eyed girl in hand me downs

Whose name I never could pronounce

Said: "Pity please the ones who serve

They only get what they deserve"

The rich relationed hometown queen

Marries into what she needs

With a guarantee of company

And haven for the elderly...

 

So remember those who win the game

Lose the love they sought to gain

In debitures of quality and dubious integrity

Their small-town eyes will gape at you

In dull surprise when payment due

Exceeds accounts received at seventeen...

 

To those of us who knew the pain

Of valentines that never came

And those whose names were never called

When choosing sides for basketball

It was long ago and far away

the world was younger than today

when dreams were all they gave for free

to ugly duckling girls like me...

 

We all play the game, and when we dare

We cheat ourselves at solitaire

Inventing lovers on the phone

Repenting other lives unknown

That call and say: "Come on, dance with me"

And murmur vague obscenities

At ugly girls like me, at seventeen...

Edited by badgerx16
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Bury Me Softly In This Womb

I Give This Part Of Me For You

Sand Rains Down And Here I Sit

Holding Rare Flowers

In A Tomb.....In Bloom

 

Down In A Hole And I Don't Know

If I Can Be Saved

See My Heart I Decorate It

Like A Grave

You Don't Understand Who They

Thought I Was Supposed To Be

Look At Me Now A Man

Who Won't Let Himself Be

 

Down In A Hole, Feelin' So Small

Down In A Hole, Losin' Control

I'd Like To Fly

But My Wings Have Been So Denied

 

Down In A Hole And They've Put All

The Stones In Their Place

I've Eaten The Sun So My Tongue

Has Been Burned Of The Taste

I Have Been Guilty

Of Kicking Myself In The Teeth

I Will Speak No More

Of My Feelings Beneath

 

Oh I Want To Be Inside Of You

 

Down In A Hole, Losin' My Soul

Down In A Hole, Feelin' So Small

Down In A Hole, Losin' My Soul

Down In A Hole, Out Of Control

 

I'd Like To Fly

But My Wings Have Been So Denied

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"AT SEVENTEEEN
"

By Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen

That love was meant for beauty queens

And high school girls with clear skinned smiles

Who married young and then retired

The valentines I never knew

The Friday night charades of youth

Were spent on one more beautiful

At seventeen I learned the truth...

 

And those of us with ravaged faces

Lacking in the social graces

Desperately remained at home

Inventing lovers on the phone

Who called to say "come dance with me"

And murmured vague obscenities

It isn't all it seems at seventeen...

 

A brown eyed girl in hand me downs

Whose name I never could pronounce

Said: "Pity please the ones who serve

They only get what they deserve"

The rich relationed hometown queen

Marries into what she needs

With a guarantee of company

And haven for the elderly...

 

So remember those who win the game

Lose the love they sought to gain

In debitures of quality and dubious integrity

Their small-town eyes will gape at you

In dull surprise when payment due

Exceeds accounts received at seventeen...

 

To those of us who knew the pain

Of valentines that never came

And those whose names were never called

When choosing sides for basketball

It was long ago and far away

the world was younger than today

when dreams were all they gave for free

to ugly duckling girls like me...

 

We all play the game, and when we dare

We cheat ourselves at solitaire

Inventing lovers on the phone

Repenting other lives unknown

That call and say: "Come on, dance with me"

And murmur vague obscenities

At ugly girls like me, at seventeen...

 

Yes.

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I hurt myself today

To see if i still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting

Try to kill it all away

But i remember everything

What have i become?

My sweetest friend

Everyone i know

Goes away in the end

You could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

I wear my crown of s**t

On my liar's chair

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Beneath the stain of time

The feeling disappears

You are someone else

I am still right here

What have i become?

My sweetest friend

Everyone i know

Goes away in the end

You could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

If i could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way

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Guest Dark Sotonic Mills
Semolina Custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.

 

Conflation, hammy old chap.

 

"Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye"

 

and

 

"Semolina pilchard, climbing up the eiffel tower"

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Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

Got my work clothes on for love, sweat and dirt.

All this Holy dust upon my face an' shirt.

Headin' uptown now, just as the shifts are changin',

To Grand Central Station.

I got my lunch box, got my hard hat in my hand.

I ain't no hero, mister, just a workin' man.

An' all these voices keep on askin' me to take them,

To Grand Central Station.

Grand Central Station.

 

I wanna stand beneath the clock just one more time.

Wanna wait on the platform for the Hudson line.

I guess you're never really all alone, or too far from the pull of home,

An' the stars upon that painted dome still shine.

I paid my way out on the 42nd Street.

I lit a cigarette an' stared down at my feet.

Imagined all the ones that ever stood here waitin',

At Grand Central Station.

Grand Central Station.

And now Hercules is starin' down at me.

Next to him's Minerva an' Mercury.

Well, I nod to them an' start my crawl, flyers coverin' every wall:

Faces of the missing are all I see.

Tomorrow, I'll be back there, workin' on the pile.

Going in, comin' out, single file.

Before my job is done, there's one more trip I'm makin',

To Grand Central Station.

Grand Central Station.

Grand Central Station.

Grand Central Station.

 

Grand Central Station - Mary Chapin Carpenter, written after the Twin Towers.

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Do not listen to a word I say

just listen to what I can keep silent

the only way to gain approval

is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me

I stare at the sky

and it leaves me blind

I close my eyes

and this is yesterday

someone somewhere soon will take care of you

I repent, I'm sorry, everything is falling apart

houses as ruins and gardens as weeds

why do anything when you can forget everything

I stare at the sky

and it leaves me blind

I close my eyes

and this is yesterday

I stare at the sky

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Do not listen to a word I say

just listen to what I can keep silent

the only way to gain approval

is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me

I stare at the sky

and it leaves me blind

I close my eyes

and this is yesterday

someone somewhere soon will take care of you

I repent, I'm sorry, everything is falling apart

houses as ruins and gardens as weeds

why do anything when you can forget everything

I stare at the sky

and it leaves me blind

I close my eyes

and this is yesterday

I stare at the sky

 

Pretty much any song from that album is going to have awesome lyrics!

 

Cheers for that - must listen to some Manics again soon.

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I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a

Dope Beastie t, nipple rings, and

New tattoos that claimed that he

Was OGT,

From '92,

The first EP.

 

And in between

Sips of Coke

He told me that

He thought

We were sellin' out,

Layin' down,

Suckin' up

To the man.

 

Well now I've got some

A-dvice for you, little buddy.

Before you point the finger

You should know that

I'm the man,

 

And if I'm the man,

 

Then you're the man, and

He's the man as well so you can

Point that ****in' finger up your ass.

 

All you know about me is what I've sold you,

Dumb ****.

I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

 

I sold my soul to make a record,

Dip ****,

And you bought one.

 

So I've got some

Advice for you, little buddy.

Before you point your finger

You should know that

I'm the man,

 

If I'm the ****in' man

Then you're the ****in' man as well

So you can

Point that ****in' finger up your ass.

 

All you know about me is what I've sold you,

Dumb ****.

I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

 

I sold my soul to make a record,

Dip ****,

And you bought one.

 

All you read and

Wear or see and

Hear on TV

Is a product

Begging for your

Fatass dirty

Dollar

 

So...Shut up and

 

Buy my new record

Send more money

**** you, buddy.

Tool - "Hooker with a penis"

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Banned from the Roxy... O.K.

I never much liked playing there anyway.

They said they only wanted well behaved boys,

Do they think guitars and microphones are just f*cking toys?

F*ck 'em, I chosen to make my stand,

Against what I feel is wrong with this land.

They just sit there on their overfed *rses,

Feeding off the sweat of less fortunate classes.

They keep their f*cking power cause their finger's on the button,

They've got control and won't let it be forgotten.

The truth of their reality is at the wrong end of a gun,

The proof of that is Belfast and that's no f*cking fun.

Seeing the squaddy lying in the front yard,

Seeing the machine guns resting on the fence.

Finding the entrance to your own front door is barred

And they've got the f*cking nerve to call it defence.

Seems their defence is just the threat of strength,

Protection for the privileged at any length.

The government protecting their profits from the poor,

The rich and the fortunate chaining up the door.

Afraid that the people may ask for a little more

Than the sh*t they get. The sh*t they get.

The sh*t they get. The sh*t they get.

The sh*t they get. The sh*t they get.

The sh*t they get. The sh*t they get.

DEFENCE? SH*T, IT'S NOTHING LESS THEN WAR

AND NO ONE BUT THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS WHAT THE F*CK IT'S FOR.

 

Oh yes they say it's defence, they say it's decency,

Mai Lai, Hiroshima, know what I mean?

The same f*cking lies with depressing frequency,

They say "We had to do it to keep our lives clean"

Well whose like? Whose f*cking life?

Who the f*ck are they talking to?

Whose life? Whose f*cking life?

I tell you one thing, it ain't me and you.

And their system, christ, they're everywhere,

School, army, church, corporation deal.

A f*cked up reality based on fear,

A f*cking conspiracy to stop you feeling real.

Well ain't got me, I'd say their f*cking wrong,

I ain't quite ready with my gun, but I've got my song...

Banned from the Roxy, well O.K.

I never much liked playing there anyway.

GUNS.

 

Crass - "Banned from the Roxy".

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If I should die this very moment

I wouldnt fear

For Ive never known completeness

Like being here

Wrapped in the warmth of you

Loving every breath of you

Still in my heart this moment

Or it might burst

Could we stay right here

Until the end of time until the earth stops turning

Wanna love you until the seas run dry

Ive found the one Ive waited for

 

All this time Ive loved you

And never known your face

All this time Ive missed you

And searched this human race

Here is true peace

Here my heart knows calm

Safe in your soul

Bathed in your sighs

Wanna stay right here

Until the end of time

til the earth stops turning

Gonna love you until the seas run dry

Ive found the one Ive waited for

 

The one Ive waited for

 

All Ive known

All Ive done

All Ive felt was leading to this

All Ive known

All Ive done

All Ive felt was leading to this

Wanna stay right here

til the end of time till the earth stops turning

Im gonna love you till the seas run dry

Ive found the one Ive waited for

The one Ive waited for

The one Ive waited for

 

Wanna stay right here

til the end of time till the earth stops turning

Im gonna love you till the seas run dry

Ive found the one Ive waited for

The one Ive waited for

The one Ive waited for

 

LAMB - GORECKI

 

______________________________________________________________________

 

"If I hadnt seen such riches, I could live with being poor"

 

JAMES - SIT DOWN

 

_______________________________________________________________________

 

Your house was very small

with wood chip on the wall

when I came 'round to call

you didnt notice me at all

 

PULP - YEAR 2000

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As relevant today as during the "dark days of football (pre showbiz prem league)"....

 

Kicker, Kicker Conspiracy. Kicker, Kicker Conspiracy.

J. Hill's** satanic reign.

Ass-lickers King O'Team.

Kicker, Kicker Conspiracy x 2.

 

In the marble halls of the charm school.

How flair is punished.

Under Marble Millichip***, the FA. broods.

On how flair can be punished.

They're guest is a Euro-State magnate.

How flair is punished.

 

K.K.C. X4.

In the booze club, George Best**** does rule.

How flair is punished.

His downfall was a blonde girl, but that's none of your business!

K. K. C. X 4

 

Former fan at the bus stop.

Treads on the ball at his feet, in the christmas rush.

And in his hands, two lager cans.

Talks to himself. At the back. At the top.

 

What are the implications of the club unit?

Plastic, Slime, Partitions, ****tail, Zig-Zag, Tudor Bar.

 

Pat McGatt. Pat McGatt, the very famous sports reporter is

talking......there.

 

FANS! ! ! "Remember, you are abroad!

Remember the police are rough!

Remember the unemployed!

Remember my expense account!

 

HOT DOGS AND SEAT FOR MR. HOGG !!

HOT DOGS AND SEAT FOR MR. HOGG!!!

AAAAAANNNNDDD HIS GROTTYSPAWN! ! ! !

 

Lurid brochures for ground unit.

Our style is punished.

 

K. K. C. X 5

Remember! don't collect with the rough.

K. K. C. X 1

 

Kicker, lets swell the facilities.

 

Kicker Conspiracy times eight.

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Turn Out The Lights by Steel Panther:

 

So you're big and kinda hairy

Like a monkey at the zoo

I don't care if you're a monkey

With an ass that's red and blue

Cause I'm gonna **** you doggy-style

The way chihuahua's do

But I got one request

That I just have to ask of you

 

Turn out the lights

Before you suck my ****

Someone beat you with an ugly stick

I wanna ****, but you make me sick, so

Turn out the lights, Turn out the lights

 

So you think that I'm a loser

Cause I used to be in Jail

And I got my GED Diploma

Last week in the mail

Well at least a man can exercise

If he gets too fat

But I got news for you

Your face will always look like that

 

Turn out the lights

Before I take a ride

You don't seem to have a "good side"

Whip out a condom and the astro-glide

Turn out the lights Turn out the lights

I think I'm gonna hurl

Jesus Christ I hope that you're a girl

Open your mouth, baby, here come the pearls

Turn out the lights, Turn out the lights

 

Tell me when it's over

Please tell me you don't have VD

Thank god that it's over, yeah

 

Well we all have indiscretions

I think you're my BIGGEST yet

Had to roll you in some flour

Just to find where you were wet

Well this never would've happened

If I hadn't lost that bet

I wonder if our grand-kids

Will ask us how we met

 

Turn out the lights

Girl it's way to bright

I don't wanna look at your cellulite

There ain't nothing on your body that's tight

Turn out the lights, Turn out the lights

 

Before you take off your clothes

I wanna tie you up with some garden hose

Slap your tits and rub my balls on your nose

Turn out the lights, Turn out the lights

 

Before we do the deed

Before I cover your box with my seed

I'm gonna pound ya 'till ya ****ing start to bleed, *****

Turn out the lights, Turn out the lights

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