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Robsk II

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They don't give you a new knob when you arrive at Narita airport convict!

 

Did anyone watch Derek? My mate (trany bothering RP saint) said it was really good but I can't actually bring myself to watch it as any bits of it I have seen look pants. It's just sits there, clogging up space on my TiVo.

 

I bet japanese men are gutted that they don't issue you with a japanese tolerant dong on arrival, maybe they could look at implementing that.

 

Not watched derek and from what I heard its depressing, wouldn't want to watch it in 4D (look it up it is apparently possible in some Japanese cinema's) as the whole programme you would get the aroma of **** and crapped pants which could be attractive for some of the Saintsweb members as they are probably only used to their own versions.

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:lol: good work! Spudders is Frank!

 

We're mostly samepage with tv it seems! I might check out vikings now it is getting props from someone other than tokyos!

 

If you ain't already make sure you is checking out BANSHEEEE for sex+violence and NATHAN FOR YOU for ultimate lols!

 

Just checked and that Nathan for you looks well funny http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/nathan-for-you

 

Will download it when I get out of the kalahari and get decent internet again.

 

Kalahari = increased post count

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  • 2 weeks later...

A friend - knowing my insatiable TV nostalgia habit - has just lent me a DVD of 'Roald Dahl's Tales of the Unexpected' first broadcast way back in 1979. Although I can't claim this was ever a particular favorite of mine I do remember this series so it soon found its way into my overworked DVD player.

Introduced my the author (in a pseudo Hitchcock style) this was a Saturday primetime ITV series of one off short story's that invariably featured a rather macabre and twisted plot - if you are even slightly familiar with the work of the late Roald Dahl this will come as no surprise. A few highlights:

 

A Dip in the Pool

A hopeless gambling addict (very much like the real Dahl) is on a ocean voyage, true to form he bets his last $1000 on the ships regular 'how many miles will we cover in the next 24 hours' pool suspecting that a coming storm will slow the ship and thus make his low mileage bet the winner. All goes well until the storms abates much earlier than he expected. Facing financial ruin he must find a way of slowing the ship down - or lose everything.

So he spots a old lady standing alone on the deck and (having first made damn sure she has seen him) he jumps overboard knowing that the ship will be delayed as it has to come about, lower a boat, and rescue him.

Well she sees him jump alright but we soon discover that the old dear is suffering from dementia and no one believes her. The story ends with our desperate gambler floundering alone in the vastness of the ocean as the cruise liner disappears over the horizon.

 

The Way up to Heaven.

Mrs Foster (Julie Harris) is a very nice and respectable women but she has a morbid fear of being late for any appointment - a fear her wealthy old husband seems to go out of his way to acerbate.

Setting off to visit a friend oversees one day she has just a hour to get to the airport to catch her plane, With time running out her hubby of course leaves it to the very last minute before getting in the car and then decides they must wait even longer because he has forgotten something ... oh and can they stop at his bank on the way! This to her is akin to a form of intolerable torment.

You can only push someone so far you know, and the (genuinely horrific) fate that befalls her wicked husband is little more than a case of 'just deserts' if you ask me.

 

Man from the South.

A young American sailor brags to a distinguished Spanish gentleman (oldtime Hollywood movie star Jose Ferrier) that his top class cigarette lighter always lights even on a very windy day. The Spaniard challenges the sailor to a wager, the stakes being that if it does light 10 times in a row then the sailor wins the old gentleman's fine new Jaguar XJ6. Should it fail to light however ... well he's going to chop off the Americans little finger with a carving knife.

What a utterly devilish proposition to put before a impoverished young man, but such is my love of Jags you know I think I might well have been tempted to take this bet on myself.

Edited by CHAPEL END CHARLIE
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Some more stuff I kinda like:

 

Great British Railway Journeys

Michael Portillo travels around the country comparing the past with the present using a old copy of 'Bradshaw's' as a guild. OK not exactly cutting edge television this, but Ive always liked travelogues and Portillo is a surprisingly likable host. This series constantly reminds one of what a interesting, diverse, and sometimes beautiful country Britain still is.

 

Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads?

A competent early 70's BBC sit com that has become something of a period piece now. See the slums of old industrial Newcastle being demolished and replaced with cheap and hideous concrete structures that we now know were a terrible mistake. Just as terrible, can Terry save Bob from Thelma?

 

Outback Truckers

A bit of a rip off from Ice Road Truckers perhaps, nevertheless in the world of Australian lorry driving the men are still men ... and so are the women. How epically vast Australia is, and how resilient and resourceful the people who live and work in the 'outback' are.

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I am something of a traditionalist. I'm not particularly a fan of reality TV shows, but as we see more of them, I do wonder whether the genre is actually maturing.

 

I've just watched a show called Catfish, released last year on MTV. Nev, the show's creator, made his name by making a documentary about a dodgy Internet relationship he got into. He fell in love with a Facebook profile full of pictures of a very presentable young lady. Turned out that all along, he was talking to someone else. He ended up friends with both girls on Facebook.

 

Catfish the TV show is on MTV, the channel that used to show music. It's actually very good, sympathetic to both parties, whether they turn out to be real or not. It's a weird alchemy of sensationalist drama and endearing sensitivity which you can watch without feeling dirty.

 

I give this a 4/5 stars on the pap 5 star rating.

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Just watched Dead Man's Shoes on the recommendation of my housemate. Love "This is England" and all the subsequent TV series', but haven't seen too much else of Shane Meadows' work. Have to say that Dead Man's Shoes is one of the best British films i've ever seen. The scenery, the original characters, that feeling of dread that sits in your stomach like a rock during certain scenes...these all seem to be things than Shane Meadows excels at. A really special mention to Paddy Considine for his performance too, even though he doesn't have a massive amount of screen time (in comparison to the main cronies) he really impacts on you. Incredible stuff.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've been deeply immersed for a week now in BBC2's fascinating Tudor season, a proper TV treat for the history fan. Especial noteworthy I thought were two specially commissioned new programmes - 'Henry VII: Winter King', and 'The Time Travelers Guide to Elizabethan England'.

 

Both programmes were written and presented by respected authors of well received books on these very subjects - both of which I'm fortune enough to have read by the way. Now historians may not always make the most polished and camera friendly of presenters I suppose, but I'd much rather have a true expert in the field tell me a story than take it from one of the usual suspects for this type of thing - such as Dan Snow for example.

 

So bravo for BBC2's courage in not dumbing it down for we plebs!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was sorry to see the excellent Swedish crime drama Arne Dahl come to a end last Saturday night. Not truely 'ground breaking' TV perhaps, but a well executed and densely plotted series in which the viewer got to know - and genuinely care about - the principle characters of the Swedish Police's elite 'A Unit' to a unusual degree. More please.

 

I also much enjoyed Melvyn Bragg's programme about William Tyndale 'The Most Dangerous Man in Tudor England'. Tyndale was a uncompromising puritan revolutionary who printed the very first bible in English. Now that may not seem like a big deal today I suppose, but trust me allowing ordinary people to read the bible in their own language (as opposed to having a Catholic priest read it to them from the Latin) was dangerous stuff back in the day.

Bragg is obviously in love with his subject and that can sometimes lead to a loss a proper historical perspective. But the case Bragg makes here was so powerful that I'm forced to agree with him - Tyndale is a important historical figure and quite as influential as Shakesphere was on the development of the English language.

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I've just watched 'The Cruel Sea' again. I never get tired of it. Understated, simply told, well,paced and based on a great book by Nicholas Monsarrat who is on of the smoothest writers I have ever read. A couple of years ago we spent a day in Halifax, Nova Scotia, and I spent a happy couple of hours on HMCS Sackville, the only surviving flower class corvette. How 85 men could have sailed the Atlantic and fought on such a tiny ship is beyond comprehension.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMCS_Sackville_(K181)

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Anyone watch Channel 4's french programme 'The Returned' was brilliant.

 

I watch some I like how the adverts was all French too. I dunno where they're going with it tho, I dunno how come the zombies is not rotting + that their clothes is in pristine condition. I'm worried it's gonna get a bit Jesus.

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Anyone watch Channel 4's french programme 'The Returned' was brilliant.

 

Aye, rather good wasn't it.

 

For those who missed out, a coach with a party of local teenage school kids aboard crashes off a high Alpine road with (apparently) fatal consequences for its young passengers. The action moves forward 4 years and we see the families of the dead children trying to cope with the aftermath of this awful tragedy as best they can.

 

Then - out of the blue as it were - the kids start to reappear looking not a day older than they were and telling tells of waking up after finding themselves asleep in the mountains. There is no explanation for this, and the kids are left wondering just why their families are so shocked to see them! We can only imagine what confronting such an impossible situation would be like.

 

Meanwhile, we learn more about why the coach crashed, a old man commits suicide, a young women is brutally stabbed in a underpass ... oh and the water level behind the reservoir starts to drop alarmingly! This is one of those mysteries where the viewer is presented with more questions than answers and where the hell it's going to end up is anybody's guess. But I'll tell you what - I can't wait to find out.

Edited by CHAPEL END CHARLIE
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This is one of those mysteries where the viewer is presented with more questions than answers and where the hell it's going to end up is anybody's guess. But I'll tell you what - I can't wait to find out.

 

This is why i ain't watching no more! I reckon it's gonna be one of them dumb shows where you never get satisfying + logical explanations! Like Lost or How I Fucked Yo Momma.

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This is why i ain't watching no more! I reckon it's gonna be one of them dumb shows where you never get satisfying + logical explanations! Like Lost or How I Fucked Yo Momma.

 

I have a horrible feeling you may be right, but as long as it doesn't get too 'Twin Peaks' then I'm going to stick with it.

 

Just to confuse the issue further, we learned in Episode Two that not all our resurrected frogies came from the coach crash. The 'returned' knifeman in the subway may have been knocked off my his brother, and his victims - including the single woman who is looking after that very odd little boy - seem strangely impervious to any amount of stab wounds. I suspect that understanding this mute child may well turn out to be key to this paranormal mystery.

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I have a horrible feeling you may be right, but as long as it doesn't get too 'Twin Peaks' then I'm going to stick with it.

 

Just to confuse the issue further, we learned in Episode Two that not all our resurrected frogies came from the coach crash. The 'returned' knifeman in the subway may have been knocked off my his brother, and his victims - including the single woman who is looking after that very odd little boy - seem strangely impervious to any amount of stab wounds. I suspect that understanding this mute child may well turn out to be key to this paranormal mystery.

Anyone sticking with this? Think it's excellent personally, albeit a little slow moving. And that Lena is a right sort!
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I'm watching a good show, it's called something about lakes or something. It's got Holly Hunter in it. It's a show about how all men are terrible & is set in New Zealand where it seems men is especially terrible. Not to come over all arts on you, but the cinematographies are v.good, it's really well shot or whatever. The acting is v.good also. There is a few lols like when this main gangster dude visits a women's refuge and this one bird starts telling him bout how her boyfriend is an actual monkey but they're taking some time apart cos he is abusive.

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yeah i feel there is gap in the market since ebert snuffed it. You should watch this show tokyos, there is bird in it who my bird said was a bird from mad mens, i wouldn't know cos i don't watch that show, but she is licked out + you see her boobs, but only artistically it's not v.graphic. She is also artistically gang-banged but that happens when she is 16 so is different actress.

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You should watch this show tokyos.

 

I'd love to bear but as you haven't said the name, it is difficult. I just googled 16 year old female gets gang raped and then licked out when older but none of the results are from New Zealand. There was some from Russia and some from Thailand (remakes I guess) but none that fitted the bill perfectly. I did enjoy their versions of the show thou.

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Yeah! I mean i ain't seen that particular scene, i ain't watched whole thing yet, but that is the main gangster dude (he is v.good actor, i think he was the one who give renton bad trip in trainspotting) & the other bird might be the one who fucks monkeys. It's hard to be sure, old flabby birds all look the same to me.

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****s monkeys is ok with the swear filter or is this your change the font trick that got you or whoever banned.

 

How many have been made bear? Has a whole series been on yet? I hate waiting for stuff and if I have to wait a week for the next one, I just stop watching.

 

Edit - oh it ain't allowed just your Jedi powers let it be allowed.

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no i believe we're allowed to fuck monkeys, but for some reason it is not ok to **** other animals i.e to **** horses.

 

this one is all ready to watch in 7 convenient episodes yo! It's one to watch with ur fuckmonkey prob, cos is serious drama + make you seem intalect- interlecctua- clevers.

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I hope I'm not the only one on here to have seen 'Best Possible Taste: The Kenny Everett Story' on BBC4 last week because it was top class. Oliver Lansley performance as Kenny was quite remarkably good - shut your eyes and you'd swear you were listening to the real Kenny - he even looks like him. This promising young actor is well supported by the equally excellent Katherine Kelly as his long suffering wife Lee. The script is taught, the direction flawless - 90 minutes of television that just flew by.

 

I must admit Kenny was a hero of mine back in the day and (imo) he was little short of a minor genius. But like so many other abundantly talented people he had more than his fair share of problems to deal with. He was a man full of contradictions: flamboyantly gay, but his wife Lee was truly the love of his life. A recklessly brave and innovative broadcaster, and yet it took him most of his adult life to summon up the courage to 'come out' as they say. Such a interesting character, it's no wonder twenty years after his death he still holds a certain fascination for those of us old enough to have experienced at first hand his unique broadcasting style

 

Maybe this drama pulled a few punches when it came to the full extent of his drug abuse, and Kenny's tragically early (HIV related) death. But even here I thought the script judged it just right, because in the final analysis I'm sure Kenny would want us to remember him in his prime.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00xzvlw/Best_Possible_Taste_The_Kenny_Everett_Story/

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I hope I'm not the only one on here to have seen 'Best Possible Taste: The Kenny Everett Story' on BBC4 last week because it was top class. Oliver Lansley performance as Kenny was quite remarkably good - shut your eyes and you'd swear you were listening to the real Kenny - he even looks like him. This promising young actor is well supported by the equally excellent Katherine Kelly as his long suffering wife Lee. The script is taught, the direction flawless - 90 minutes of television that just flew by.

 

I must admit Kenny was a hero of mine back in the day and (imo) he was little short of a minor genius. But like so many other abundantly talented people he had more than his fair share of problems to deal with. He was a man full of contradictions: flamboyantly gay, but his wife Lee was truly the love of his life. A recklessly brave and innovative broadcaster, and yet it took him most of his adult life to summon up the courage to 'come out' as they say. Such a interesting character, it's no wonder twenty years after his death he still holds a certain fascination for those of us old enough to have experienced at first hand his unique broadcasting style

 

Maybe this drama pulled a few punches when it came to the full extent of his drug abuse, and Kenny's tragically early (HIV related) death. But even here I thought the script judged it just right, because in the final analysis I'm sure Kenny would want us to remember him in his prime.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00xzvlw/Best_Possible_Taste_The_Kenny_Everett_Story/

 

Thanks for bringing this to my attention Charlie, I really must watch this. I was listening recently to Chris Tarrant talking on R4 about when he worked with Kenny, and how he believes him to be the greatest radio presenter who ever lived. Alas I am too young to remember him on the radio but I do have great memories of his TV series from my childhood, although I was probably too young to appreciate a lot of the humour at the time. Like so many troubled geniuses, he was taken from us far too young.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The Good:

I was deeply moved by BBC2's 'Piper Alpha: Fire in the Night' (BBC2 Tuesday). Just another near forgotten disaster to most of us now I suppose, but this terrible oil rig tragedy from 1988 (in which 167 men died) really deserves remembering. A simple unfussy programme that focused on allowing the survivors of this event to tell their (often harrowing) stories without the usual CGI rubbish or much in the way of re enactment.

After seeing this awesome tale, it struck this viewer that the true cost price of petrol is not just measured in terms of money ...

 

The Bad:

Professional northerner Robson Green's 'How the North was Built' (ITV Tuesday) also made an impression on this viewer - but only in the negative sense. Do you too after watching a TV programme sometimes find yourself wondering what the hell was the point of it? Well that's exactly how this 'dumbed down' rubbish left me feeling. It turns out that coal and steam were important to the industrial revolution (!) and that miners were all admirable 'Salt of the Earth' working class hero types. Viewers also learnt that Manchester was once known as 'Cottonopolis' and the canal system was built to move goods around at low cost.

This may have perhaps made an acceptable School's programme aimed at younger children, but any reasonably aware child over the age of 12 really should already know all this. Even if they didn't, then watching any of Fred Dibnah's old programmes would have made a much better guild than this insult to the viewers intelligence.

A waste of electrons.

 

The Ugly:

There's a cheap scheduled filler called 'Heir Hunters' on that desolate wasteland otherwise known as daytime television in which a bunch of mercenary ghouls track down the relatives of (wealthy) people who have died without leaving a will - and take a percentage of the cash they then inherit of course. Penny pinching considerations aside, why the BBC would want to have anything to do with this gash is a mystery. Depressing stuff.

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  • 2 weeks later...

As it builds towards what looks like being a stunning climax, I suspect that few who decided to give the Channel 4's French series 'The Returned' (Les Reverents) a go will be regretting the investment of their time and attention. Plot wise there's so much going on here I hardly know where to start - so I'll just restrict myself to saying that the dividing line between those who are/were dead, and the rest of the town's population, seems to be becoming increasingly blurred.

 

Indeed I'm starting to wonder if the whole town is something akin to a kind of Alpine Limbo or Purgatory - a place that exists between this world and the next - rather like that memorable 2001 Nicole Kidman film 'The Others' perhaps. It equally may be something entirely different altogether, that's what is special about this beautiful, mysterious and utterly unpredictable series.

 

I can't wait to find out what answers we are to be given - if any - to this enigma. However, as I see a second series is in the pipeline I would not be at all surprised to see a 'open ended' conclusion to the series, which would be a shame because television as perfectly formed as this deserves better in my view. Be that as it may, those who decided that 8 hours of subtitled French television was really too much of a effort for them have I'm afraid missed out on what is one of the best drama series of the year.

 

Edited by CHAPEL END CHARLIE
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Anybody else watch Last Resort?

 

It's not perfect trash tv by any stretch but at least it is original in it's concept. High Level US Conspiracy, Steal your own Nuclear Sub, sit on an Island and sh@g the local population & run drugs.

 

Good easy watching though & the sub warfare stuff is at least different from usual diet of "Crime/Legal" type series that fills up our Showtime channel here

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Anybody else watch Last Resort?

 

It's not perfect trash tv by any stretch but at least it is original in it's concept. High Level US Conspiracy, Steal your own Nuclear Sub, sit on an Island and sh@g the local population & run drugs.

 

Good easy watching though & the sub warfare stuff is at least different from usual diet of "Crime/Legal" type series that fills up our Showtime channel here

 

It was OK for the first 3/4 episodes but rapidly went downhill. One to look out for is Banshee, so-so plot but good scripts, actors and plenty of sex and violence; in fact some of the most brutal fight scenes i've ever seen (watch out for the episode with the cagefighter:scared:)

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It was OK for the first 3/4 episodes but rapidly went downhill. One to look out for is Banshee, so-so plot but good scripts, actors and plenty of sex and violence; in fact some of the most brutal fight scenes i've ever seen (watch out for the episode with the cagefighter:scared:)

 

Got better when the Seals & XO get to Manilla & Washington (sorry suburbs of some Island in Hawaii) ... Agree around episodes 4-6 it goes a bit meh.

 

Have Banshee, that's the next on the list for this week (unless son FINALLY remembers to bring the latest Dr Who series home!)

 

update: Actually Last Resort had bad ones but by the end? Yeah it was really good, can't actually say why as that means spoilers. Anyways Banshee tomoz

Edited by dubai_phil
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I've been spending more time away from my beloved papcave and as a consequence, have had more time to sit down with the kids and watch what they watch.

 

I saw a show called Secret Princes. The premise is simple. It's like Coming To America, but nowhere near as fun. Basically, four titled non-American eligible bachelors decide they wanna do common people, go to the US and spend a few weeks pretending to be a bus-boy or waiter, then reveal all once the girly has fallen for their natural charm. They then zoom back to the respective countries of origin of the "princes" ( some are merely lords ) and see how the American girl gets on in their environment.

 

Note that none of this actually constitutes a recommendation for the show. It's actually pretty terrible, and features one of the worst adverts for British aristocracy that I've ever seen, essentially a pack of upper class bullies laughing at their American visitor's relative poverty.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2189996/A-real-life-Coming-To-America-Young-princes-undercover-hunt-future-wives.html

 

Avoid, or watch once just for sneering potential.

Edited by pap
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This was on TV before here Pap but set in Brighton. One of the princes was gay and pulled some guy, he was all like "yeah I am gay, get over it, people have to accept me as I am". Then when he took his new Brighton boyfriend back to India he was like "don't mention being gay or nothing. Just say we are friends who like to wrestle."

 

There was also an African prince who was really homophobic. It was lols when the Indian guy took his boyfriend back for a bum and the African guy was spinning out about it downstairs. Apart from that, it was a pretty sh!t program. I can imagine the American version is worse, similar set up just with more sob stories and tears?

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Right I've downloaded Hell on Wheels as I was desperate due to "going away" (trying to sound like I am off to prison and be well tough) anyway once I realised the title was slightly misleading and it wasn't on about female drivers I thought it showed some potential so episode 1 of violence tomorrow.

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I don't watch a lot of TV drama because, with the odd exception every now an then, it's generally rubbish. But this is something I will definitely look forward to...

 

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2013/aug/05/coen-brothers-fargo-fx-television-channel

 

Coen brothers to adapt Fargo for TV channel FX

Billy Bob Thornton to take lead role in belated spinoff from 1996 film in directors' first foray into TV

 

In 1996, Frances McDormand won an Oscar for her performance as Marge, a heavily pregnant cop battling bumbling criminals in snowy Minnesota. The film was Fargo, directed by the Coen brothers, and 17 years on it has been announced that Billy Bob Thornton will take the lead part in a belated TV spinoff. Thornton, 57, will play a new character, Lorne, described as "a rootless, manipulative man who meets a small-town insurance salesman and sets him on a path of destruction".

 

This central casting was one of a series of details unveiled about the 10-part show, which will shoot in Canada this year before screening in the US next spring on the FX channel. John Landgraf, the head of the network, said that although there was no crossover with the original, the series would be "remarkably true to the film", with Joel and Ethan Coen taking executive producer credits.

 

It will be the brothers' first venture on to the small screen, and a move that adds momentum to what many identify as a growing reverse trend. Where once it was films which took inspiration from TV shows, now TV is cannibalising classic movies.

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It ain't on mine yet. I'm sure I was promised otherwise!

 

If you were a true price pikey you would watch it online like me. Splitter.

 

It's the best show on telly. Awesome episode.

 

I was enjoying it for the first 30 minutes or so, but the last 15 minutes just blew my mind.

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