Worst saints signings XI

[sadoldgit]

On 09/11/2025 at 08:52, Colinjb said:

Only a loan, but Callum Davenport too. 

Davenport and Oliver Bernard were absolutely useless.

Our first £1m player was also a total waste of money but his name escapes me for now.

[Stud mark of doom]

16 minutes ago, sadoldgit said:

Davenport and Oliver Bernard were absolutely useless.

Our first £1m player was also a total waste of money but his name escapes me for now.

Alan McCloughlan?  he’s in my original team! 
 

We should definitely have Anderson as director of football and maybe Lowe as chairman? 

[Sergei Gotsmanov]

I think we can probably put out two teams!

[Turkish]

2 minutes ago, Stud mark of doom said:

Alan McCloughlan?  he’s in my original team! 
 

We should definitely have Anderson as director of football and maybe Lowe as chairman? 

Yes that's him. I actually felt a bit sorry for him, he what we now call a CAM but when he joined us he was pushed out onto the left wing. 6 months after he signed Nicholl was sacked and Branfoot came in, he definitely wasn't a Branfoot player. Ended up selling him to that lot down the road for half what we signed him for. He went on to do pretty well for them

[Sergei Gotsmanov]

5 minutes ago, Stud mark of doom said:

Alan McCloughlan?  he’s in my original team! 
 

We should definitely have Anderson as director of football and maybe Lowe as chairman? 

Alan McLoughlin was rather unfortunate because if he played a certain amount of games we had to pay a chunk more money so the number of games he played was limited and he could not prove himself. He then went onto our neighbours and flourished.

[Colinjb]

15 hours ago, Saint Scott said:

Saphir Taider

What a friendly Vs Leverkusen (I think.....)

[Danbert]

Yoann Folly and Leandre Griffit?

Folly must make the team surely, as buying him was pure folly...

[sandwichsaint]

Delgado and his mate.

[Colinjb]

2 hours ago, Danbert said:

Yoann Folly and Leandre Griffit?

Folly must make the team surely, as buying him was pure folly...

For a brief period they looked genuinely promising. Under Sturrock.

[sadoldgit]

5 hours ago, Stud mark of doom said:

Alan McCloughlan?  he’s in my original team! 
 

We should definitely have Anderson as director of football and maybe Lowe as chairman? 

That’s the one!

[OneMrsWallace]

David Speedie. Cunt. 

[benjii]

Has anyone mentioned Mark Hughes yet? Massive let down.

[redkeith]

3 hours ago, benjii said:

Has anyone mentioned Mark Hughes yet? Massive let down.

He could be player manager, a let down on both fronts.

 

[SylvianSylvian]

                           BAZUNU

           MARSHALL      HOLGATE 

MAITLAND-NILES (c)                          TODD

              VENISON       HUGHES

                           DIA

DOWNS          CARILLO           MARA

Subs- Forecast/Colleter/Hoedt/Redknapp/Pulis/ Nlundulu

Coach - Jan Poortvliet

DoF - ‘Arry Redknapp 

Obviously Barry V & Sparky should be nowhere near this XI on talent alone, but as a kid at The Dell they seemed like the oldest, slowest men who ever lived, so they’re getting the call-up to lend immobility to my midfield. Ali is my playmaker at the peak of that midfield diamond. I’m relying on him to make the team tick & to feed that lethal front 3. AMN captain, driving on these brave boys. Didn’t Scott Marshall score an og off his arse once? Gav’s in for a busy day. Come on you Saints! 

 

[Thinwhiteduke2]

Chris Perry, Chris Lucketti, David Lee, Sammy Lee, Tadanari Lee, Thomas Peckhart,  Mark Walters, Florin Gardos, Stig Johanson, Imants Bleidelis…………..

[BarryVenisonsHair]

Romain Gasmi, Zoltan Liptak, Lucian Mettomo, Tejera, Sarmiento...

[beatlesaint]

40 minutes ago, Thinwhiteduke2 said:

Chris Perry, Chris Lucketti, David Lee, Sammy Lee, Tadanari Lee, Thomas Peckhart,  Mark Walters, Florin Gardos, Stig Johanson, Imants Bleidelis…………..

I thought Chris Perry was ok to be fair.

That Olivier Bernard prick, I was really pleased when he signed, then I was there at Blackburn in the pissing rain where we got stuffed and he just couldnt give a flying one, you people think Damion Downs is bad, and yes he is, but that day this guy made him look half acceptable.

[Chez]

Andrews
O'Halloran Bennett Holgate Small
Falque Pulis Lee Brereton-Diaz
Dia Cramb

Bit harsh to compare players being shit in the PL with those not good enough to get a game in a league 1 side, but putting that to one side, in terms of what I saw of them do in a Saints shirt, these are possibly the worst signings. Talk about rabbits in headlights.

I should say that Orsic pushed Brereton-Diaz close. Danso could have made the side, but he was played out of position, so I will let him off. Yes, Pulis gets in despite not playing. I said he wasn't anywhere near good enough when we signed him and it was one of the few occasions I was right. Kevin Gibbons might make the bench, and NiIssen. I'd like to get Bernhard and Nigel Quashie in somehow. I'm still scarred from that 2004/5 season. The latter's disgraceful effort away at at QPR will live in my memory forever.

 

 

Edited yesterday at 14:22 by Chez

[Lighthouse]

1 hour ago, Thinwhiteduke2 said:

Chris Perry, Chris Lucketti, David Lee, Sammy Lee, Tadanari Lee, Thomas Peckhart,  Mark Walters, Florin Gardos, Stig Johanson, Imants Bleidelis…………..

Some weird picks in there. Perry was a decent, experienced player at a time when we were falling apart. Lucketti also did fine in his brief time here. Tadders scored our goal of the season before getting a serious injury, so I'm not sure he counts either. Gardos had a few decent games for us too. He was backup to Toby but largely fine when called up.

[suewhistle]

If we hadn't had the positive boost of a win at the weekend I'd be even more depressed reading this thread. They've all been in my time but luckily my memory has helped by forgetting some of them, so this thread has been raising some hidden traumas. O'Halloran, Falque, Chris Lucketti?  I thought in context both Chris Perry and Paul Bennett acceptable. 

Some get in the team through sheer ability, but the ones I think we all get upset at are those who didn't give a &&&&. So for Paul Moody pulled from Waterlooville's ranks it was all too much, but at least he tried. 

[franniesTache]

God i've seen some shit play for saints in my lifetime, but none, absolutely none, are worse than Lee Todd. Genuinely looked like a make a wish player, except the wish was to be picked for a sunday league team, and yet somehow he ended up on the pitch for Saints.

Big shout as well to the useless Russians (?) we had under Nicholl, i remember Gotsmanov being so bad either the Ugly or On The March nicknamed him "Getimov" instead, and his compatriot Cherednyk was even worse if memory serves correct.

Like others have said Paul Moody and Alan McLoughlin were utter garbage, and around the same time we had players like Frankie Bennett, David Lee, Craig Maskell who were the epitome of dross.

Also special shoutout for the least talented footballer in terms of touch, skill, or reading of the game, that i think i've ever seen. Paul Wooton. If ever a footballer deserved the description of "agricultural" it was him.

Oh and this won't be popular these days, but if you'd asked this question 15-20 years ago the name of a certain mr Francis Benali would've come up a lot.

[swannymere]

On 10/11/2025 at 15:29, Danbert said:

Yoann Folly

 You must be joking, Folly was great for one season. A proper midfield general.

[Chez]

1 hour ago, franniesTache said:

God i've seen some shit play for saints in my lifetime, but none, absolutely none, are worse than Lee Todd. Genuinely looked like a make a wish player, except the wish was to be picked for a sunday league team, and yet somehow he ended up on the pitch for Saints.

Big shout as well to the useless Russians (?) we had under Nicholl, i remember Gotsmanov being so bad either the Ugly or On The March nicknamed him "Getimov" instead, and his compatriot Cherednyk was even worse if memory serves correct.

Like others have said Paul Moody and Alan McLoughlin were utter garbage, and around the same time we had players like Frankie Bennett, David Lee, Craig Maskell who were the epitome of dross.

Also special shoutout for the least talented footballer in terms of touch, skill, or reading of the game, that i think i've ever seen. Paul Wooton. If ever a footballer deserved the description of "agricultural" it was him.

Oh and this won't be popular these days, but if you'd asked this question 15-20 years ago the name of a certain mr Francis Benali would've come up a lot.

Paul Wotton should have made my team. One of the most limited players to ever wear the shirt. At least he tried I suppose.

[Chez]

2 hours ago, suewhistle said:

If we hadn't had the positive boost of a win at the weekend I'd be even more depressed reading this thread. They've all been in my time but luckily my memory has helped by forgetting some of them, so this thread has been raising some hidden traumas. O'Halloran, Falque, Chris Lucketti?  I thought in context both Chris Perry and Paul Bennett acceptable. 

Some get in the team through sheer ability, but the ones I think we all get upset at are those who didn't give a &&&&. So for Paul Moody pulled from Waterlooville's ranks it was all too much, but at least he tried. 

Personally, I was referring to Alan Bennett not Paul. If you witnessed the game against Palace at SMS in 2007 you will have seen one of the weakest and most pitiful displays at CB ever. 

Just looked at the 2007 squad and discovered Darren Powell...one of, if not the most talentless footballers I have ever seen in a Saints shirt. 

[AlexLaw76]

Jason Mule had some shockers when here

[Chez]

30 minutes ago, swannymere said:

 You must be joking, Folly was great for one season. A proper midfield general.

Are you thinking of Pele?

Folly only played a few games for Saints. I think there was a couple of sub appearances in the PL. I recall him playing the full game at Wolves away in the Championship. He played pretty well that day, but I don't think he played again and then was sent off to Sheff Wednesday.

 

[Chez]

4 minutes ago, AlexLaw76 said:

Jason Mule had some shockers when here

He wasn't the worst player, but we were paying him a fortune at that level and he delivered pretty much fuck all. I hated that team, especially the well liked Stern John who just stood around doing jack shit every week.

[suewhistle]

1 hour ago, franniesTache said:

Oh and this won't be popular these days, but if you'd asked this question 15-20 years ago the name of a certain mr Francis Benali would've come up a lot.

I've been chuckling in recognition at that but at least I was there when he scored, and as I said above about players at least trying..

Ah yes, Alan Bennett, think  I read about him but not in the country that season. It seems as more names appear even more are coming out of people's memory archives. I suppose every team has them but there must be an awful lot of players out there who have made money under false pretences.

[suewhistle]

7 minutes ago, Chez said:

Folly only played a few games for Saints. I think there was a couple of sub appearances in the PL. I recall him playing the full game at Wolves away in the Championship. He played pretty well that day, but I don't think he played again and then was sent off to Sheff Wednesday.

You've a better memory than me, but I do recall thinking he had something about him. In the promising young player line how about Jankiewicz? wince.

[OnceaSaintalwaysaSaint]

 

3 hours ago, franniesTache said:

God i've seen some shit play for saints in my lifetime, but none, absolutely none, are worse than Lee Todd.

You've got a better memory than me, but when you take in to account how much was spent on the player then Downs must be up there. Think he's worse than Mara (Carillo didn't have enough games to prove his true awfulness) and that takes some doing.

[Midfield_General]

1 hour ago, Chez said:

He wasn't the worst player, but we were paying him a fortune at that level and he delivered pretty much fuck all. I hated that team, especially the well liked Stern John who just stood around doing jack shit every week.

Scored the goal that stopped us getting relegated though, surely that must count for something

[Midfield_General]

3 hours ago, franniesTache said:

Big shout as well to the useless Russians (?) we had under Nicholl, i remember Gotsmanov being so bad either the Ugly or On The March nicknamed him "Getimov" instead, and his compatriot Cherednyk was even worse if memory serves correct.

I remember being very excited as a kid watching Cherednyk make his debut at The Dell, as it still felt quite glamorous to have foreign players at that point, and then feeling what was to become a very familiar sense of disappointment and dread as his first contributions were not one but two foul throw-ins, and it quickly became apparent even to my young eyes that he was absolute fucking dogshit. 

[stfrancisofbenali]

Imants Bleidilis played three time in three years at around £220,000 a pop. We’ve been wasting money on dross for years.

[stfrancisofbenali]

29 minutes ago, OnceaSaintalwaysaSaint said:

 

You've got a better memory than me, but when you take in to account how much was spent on the player then Downs must be up there. Think he's worse than Mara (Carillo didn't have enough games to prove his true awfulness) and that takes some doing.

But Carillo was £18M and allowed to be signed by a manager who was about to get sacked. Total incompetence from everyone concerned. 

[Lighthouse]

2 hours ago, Chez said:

He wasn't the worst player, but we were paying him a fortune at that level and he delivered pretty much fuck all. I hated that team, especially the well liked Stern John who just stood around doing jack shit every week.

I’d say the summer of 2007 was level with 2024 as the most utterly bewildering I’ve seen as a Saints fan.

Euell and John - Completely unnecessary and on huge wages

Adam Hammill - Did naff all.

Bennett - Hopelessly out of his depth.

Thomas - Absolute panic buy for £1.2m when Burnley wanted about £300k.

Safri - The most vanilla ball recycler we’ve ever had (still hasn’t officially left, according to our OS).

 

[Stud mark of doom]

1 hour ago, Midfield_General said:

I remember being very excited as a kid watching Cherednyk make his debut at The Dell, as it still felt quite glamorous to have foreign players at that point, and then feeling what was to become a very familiar sense of disappointment and dread as his first contributions were not one but two foul throw-ins, and it quickly became apparent even to my young eyes that he was absolute fucking dogshit. 

This has reminded me that after the second foul throw, Jimmy Case had to come over and explain what he was doing wrong to him. Classic stuff. 
 

someone also mentioned Paul Wotton - the bloke behind us used to give him non-stop dogs abuse, and was referred to by our group for many years afterwards as “Wotton’s Dad” 🙂 

 

[scumbag]

1 hour ago, stfrancisofbenali said:

Imants Bleidilis played three time in three years at around £220,000 a pop. We’ve been wasting money on dross for years.

Remember him coming on at HT when 3 up at Tranmere in a cup replay under Hoddle.

We lost 4-3, and pretty sure he was actually subbed.

Most have already been mentioned. Definitely Baz, Downs and Diaz from the recent crop.  I can't accept the first two are pros really - keep waiting for a highly delayed Ali Dia style piss take reveal.  Always thought Danny Fox was total shite, and also that Tahar el whatever.

Edited 21 hours ago by scumbag

[Gloucester Saint]

Worst Saints players I’ve seen by position:

GK: Andrews or Bazunu. Gavin is a L1 keeper bought by brainless morons for large money and then chucked in at the deep end (still is) whereas Ian Andrews had played a lot of games in the top flight, so Andrews gets the jersey of shame.

RB: Steve Baker, Pompey 1988. Has to be. Nilsson dishonourable mention.

LB: Olivier Bernard or Lee Todd? Bernard’s position and work rate was piss poor, Blackburn away and Villa home were terrible, but Lee Todd was next level wank as @franniesTache says

CB: Hoedt is my #1 here, Les Reed must have had early onset to pay £17m for that slow heap of Lazio reserves shit. Mid-table Championship at best. That’s without the fact he was allegedly a total bellend despised at all levels of the club. Partner grim with the appalling and equal bellend of ABK. Dishonourable mentions to Davenport, Jakobsson, Holgate and Powell. DCC pretty poor too. 

CM: Euell, Downes as a PL player, Safri, J Wright, but the worst was N Quarshie. Equally hated at both ends of the M27.

RM: Hard to look past David Lee. Kanchelskis was totally washed up. 

LM: Trying to think of one - Gibbens maybe?

Strikers - the recent list of pure faeces is staggering: Downs is in a league of his own. BBD, AA in the top flight, Archer, then further back Mayuka, Moody, Johansen, Frankie Bennett (once cleared the upper Milton with a shot - true story). Carrillo was another Les special. Onachu wasn’t great either and David Speedie was a cunt. Dixon totally addicted to gambling and goodness knows what else, Chelsea couldn’t believe their luck.

Edited 20 hours ago by Gloucester Saint

[Turkish]

  Baz

lee Todd.
Scott Marshall

calum Davenport  

Jelle Van Damme

 Ryan Smith

Jason Euell

immats Bledilis 

David Speedie

Carrillo.  

Delgado

 

[Turkish]

1 hour ago, stfrancisofbenali said:

Imants Bleidilis played three time in three years at around £220,000 a pop. We’ve been wasting money on dross for years.

He’s made my team for his famous appearance as a half time sub. He came on with us 3-0 up away at Tranmere in the fa cup. He didn’t touch the ball, we lost 4-3. Very saintsy

Edited 21 hours ago by Turkish

[sadoldgit]

5 hours ago, franniesTache said:

God i've seen some shit play for saints in my lifetime, but none, absolutely none, are worse than Lee Todd. Genuinely looked like a make a wish player, except the wish was to be picked for a sunday league team, and yet somehow he ended up on the pitch for Saints.

Big shout as well to the useless Russians (?) we had under Nicholl, i remember Gotsmanov being so bad either the Ugly or On The March nicknamed him "Getimov" instead, and his compatriot Cherednyk was even worse if memory serves correct.

Like others have said Paul Moody and Alan McLoughlin were utter garbage, and around the same time we had players like Frankie Bennett, David Lee, Craig Maskell who were the epitome of dross.

Also special shoutout for the least talented footballer in terms of touch, skill, or reading of the game, that i think i've ever seen. Paul Wooton. If ever a footballer deserved the description of "agricultural" it was him.

Oh and this won't be popular these days, but if you'd asked this question 15-20 years ago the name of a certain mr Francis Benali would've come up a lot.

I agree about Benali. He seemed to be constantly scoring own goals, making gaffes that led to goals or getting sent off. He did actually improve and became a born again footballer towards the latter end of his career though.

Probably my biggest disappointment though was losing Shearer and getting Dixon and Speedie in his place. I seem to remember them being decent at Chelsea but they were utter pants for us.

Edited 20 hours ago by sadoldgit

[Gloucester Saint]

2 minutes ago, sadoldgit said:

I agree about Benali. He seemed to be constantly scoring own goals, making gaffes that led to goals or getting sent off. He did actually improve and became a born again footballer towards the latter end of his career though.

Looked like a striker playing at left back because that’s what he was earlier on. Became tidier as he got older and always had pace.

[Stud mark of doom]

4 minutes ago, Gloucester Saint said:

Looked like a striker playing at left back because that’s what he was earlier on. Became tidier as he got older and always had pace.

The first time I saw FB play at The Dell he got 2 or 3 goals. It was in a schools final played immediately after the 2-2 v West Brom in the Keegan era. (Aka the “what a tremendously strike by the Yugoslav” game). Franny was playing up front and was the best player by a mile. 
 

(A good mate from school was also playing, hence my interest, after watching the first team game) 

[Gloucester Saint]

Just now, Stud mark of doom said:

The first time I saw FB play at The Dell he got 2 or 3 goals. It was in a schools final played immediately after the 2-2 v West Brom in the Keegan era. (Aka the “what a tremendously strike by the Yugoslav” game). Franny was playing up front and was the best player by a mile. 
 

(A good mate from school was also playing, hence my interest, after watching the first team game) 

Cousin went to school with him and top schools athlete, was England Schools striker and scored at Wembley didn’t he? Shearer’s strike partner and was still scoring plenty albeit not as many as Alan.

[Turkish]

34 minutes ago, Stud mark of doom said:

The first time I saw FB play at The Dell he got 2 or 3 goals. It was in a schools final played immediately after the 2-2 v West Brom in the Keegan era. (Aka the “what a tremendously strike by the Yugoslav” game). Franny was playing up front and was the best player by a mile. 
 

(A good mate from school was also playing, hence my interest, after watching the first team game) 

This perhaps shows how good you have to be to be a professional player. A top player as a kid, no doubt probably one of the best in the area but was one of the worst in the old first division at a time when the league was made up of mainly British players with foreigners being rare. Deluded parents thinking their kid is the new Ronaldo when they’re not even the best player in their own team. So when we’re doing these lists it’s also worth remembering all of them would run rings round all of us. Apart from Lee Todd

Edited 20 hours ago by Turkish

[Gloucester Saint]

3 minutes ago, Turkish said:

This perhaps shows how good you have to be to be a professional player. A top player as a kid, no doubt probably one of the best in the area but was one of the worst in the old first division at a time when the league was made up of mainly British players with foreigners being rare. Deluded parents thinking their kid is the new Ronaldo when they’re not even the best player in their own team. So when we’re doing these lists it’s also worth remembering all of them would run rings round all of us. Apart from Lee Todd

And Damion Downs.

[franniesTache]

2 hours ago, sadoldgit said:

I agree about Benali. He seemed to be constantly scoring own goals, making gaffes that led to goals or getting sent off. He did actually improve and became a born again footballer towards the latter end of his career though.

Franny scored one of the "best" own goals i think i've seen, a diving header that beat our own keeper at the near post, think it might've been "for" Oldham or maybe Bolton but i could be wrong.

2 hours ago, sadoldgit said:

Probably my biggest disappointment though was losing Shearer and getting Dixon and Speedie in his place. I seem to remember them being decent at Chelsea but they were utter pants for us.

The worst part about that was the absolute fucking imbecile Branfoot on signing them and selling Shearer saying that they'd score more goals in a season than Shearer would in the rest of his career. I genuinely think if we're talking worst then he's the worst manager by a country fucking mile.

1 hour ago, Turkish said:

This perhaps shows how good you have to be to be a professional player. A top player as a kid, no doubt probably one of the best in the area but was one of the worst in the old first division at a time when the league was made up of mainly British players with foreigners being rare. Deluded parents thinking their kid is the new Ronaldo when they’re not even the best player in their own team. So when we’re doing these lists it’s also worth remembering all of them would run rings round all of us.

A few of my friends went pro and they were just in a completely different league to us, control, fitness, positioning, reading of the game, if they wanted they could literally just keep the ball away from you as long as they wanted and make it look easy.

I even played against bartosz bialkowski with him playing on pitch, and even him as a keeper playing on pitch was the best player there by some distance, and he wasn't really trying too.

2 hours ago, Gloucester Saint said:

GK: Andrews or Bazunu. Gavin is a L1 keeper bought by brainless morons for large money and then chucked in at the deep end (still is) whereas Ian Andrews had played a lot of games in the top flight, so Andrews gets the jersey of shame.

Another controversial one for keep but Kelvin Davis in his first couple of seasons was as bad a keeper as i can remember us ever having, he had a habit of being chipped from distance and always seemed to be out of position.

Obviously he did improve but he was so bad he ended up having a row with Saints away end at Sheffield Wednesday away one game

[Turkish]

18 minutes ago, franniesTache said:

1 hour ago, Turkish said:

A few of my friends went pro and they were just in a completely different league to us, control, fitness, positioning, reading of the game, if they wanted they could literally just keep the ball away from you as long as they wanted and make it look easy.

I even played against bartosz bialkowski with him playing on pitch, and even him as a keeper playing on pitch was the best player there by some distance, and he wasn't really trying too.

2 hours ago, Gloucester Saint said:

I’ve played with and against some very good players, played with some pros and one actually made an appearance for England and now see an few high level non league players every week. what always amazed me was the speed they did things at. I’ve seen players with great skill but the difference is the pros can do what they can at incredible speed. Also the strength and power, even the ones who might look weak on the pitch at premier league level the average non league player wouldn’t knock off the ball and the power they strike the ball with is also levels above which only comes from having elite level technique and strength. 

developing that is a long game though, you see some many kids now who get written off at 12 or 13 because they’re small and weaker because they’re late developers, others who are the superstars at 12 because they’ve developed earlier are stronger and quicker than everyone else but when you get to 15 it’s all they’ve got when everyone else catches up. Then there’s the junior star who is brilliant at 9 but thinks they’re the dogs bollocks and gets caught up, all being clapped along by deluded parents who think their kid is a future star

 

[Chez]

4 hours ago, Midfield_General said:

Scored the goal that stopped us getting relegated though, surely that must count for something

I guess. He scored lots of goals, but my argument was always that his lack of work rate meant it was 11 v 10, so we were always behind. I was glad when he left, but we obviously got worse without him. 

[Chez]

2 hours ago, Gloucester Saint said:

Looked like a striker playing at left back because that’s what he was earlier on. Became tidier as he got older and always had pace.

He was really poor. No where near good enough technically to play in the top flight IMO.