Crab Lungs

Btw, how do you check infraction points?

Kraks, thanks for sharing the term "relentless megaspastic", I'll be using that later at work. I can't get infracted here but there are other punishments which can be handed out, assuming I hit a nerve or two.

Oooooh.... Dare I say I'm attempted

Sorry, lol.. I totally misread that!

Really? Honestly? :-o

Knowing our luck it'd be 2 points but with a decent goal difference over Villa and QPR... and then Stoke will take the lead :-o

I don't think they are, but I think it protects to "selling" club to a decent fee. I'm sure MLG knows all the intricate details.

1. Kelvin Davis - Decent NPC level stopper - £0 - £100,000 2. Nathaniel Clyne - Has the potential to become an England fullback, one season in the EPL though - £9m 3. Maya Yoshida - He probably deserves a larger "valuation" but I don't think he'll be courted or seen as a top level defender - £3m 4. Morgan Schneiderlin - Just signed a long-term contract strengthening our hand, consistently proved to be a solid emerging talent - £15m+ 5. Jos Hooiveld - Has done a half-decent job but is unlikely to cost more now than what we paid for him a year ago - £1.5m 6. José Fonte - Recovered from a horror start in the EPL to become a steady performer - £4m 7. Rickie Lambert - His game is not about "pace" so it's clear he has a few years left in the tank if he can stay free of injuries. Not a "braaaap" megastar-type so will unlikely cost more than £7-8m. Problem is, he's currently worth far more than that to us - £7-8m 8. Steven Davis - Decent EPL level midfielder - £3m 9. Jay Rodriguez - Has really started to motor, performance-wise. If he cost £6m a year ago, he's worth a bit more now as he adds to his reputation - £10m 10. Gastón Ramírez - I think he'll prove himself to be eventually, top, top class. Difficult first seasons but genuine glimpses of fantastic talent - £10m 11. Billy Sharp - Great NPC striker but would likely command no more than what we paid for him - £2m 12. Paulo Gazzaniga - If we paid £2.5m, it's unlikely he's added to a re-sale value. In fact, he may just stagnate and end up going at a significant loss one day - £300,000-£1m 13. Danny Fox - Can definitey perform a tier below comfortably and would have some re-sale value, unlikely what we paid for him though - £1m 14. Dean Hammond - Half-decent NPC performer, unlikely we'd get the £1m back we paid for him now though - £200,000-£400,000 15. Vegard Forren - If he was rated in excess of £10m a couple of years back, you'd think he's a decent buy for £4m. However, if he's to get that kind of valuation again he'll have to play consistently and perform - £4m 16. James Ward-Prowse - Too hard to say, but if he does go on to develop as Saints expect him to, there's no reason why he can't fetch in excess of £5m. What would Saints value him now though? I've no idea. At a guess - £3.5m 18. Jack Cork - Forget Henderson (£20m), Livermore, Cleverley, Shelvey; this guys is a genuine English midfield talent. If he performs well again next season, he should attract plenty more sutiors. At this moment in time, he'd have a lesser valuation than Schneiderlin - £8m 19. Tadanari Lee - We'd be very lucky to get his full value, still think he's a decent footballer and playing regularly, can probably command a larger fee than what I've estimated - £750,000 20. Adam Lallana - As above, see Jack Cork. The only English midfielder that comes close to Joe Cole for skill and creativity and far better than most of the dross involved in Owl-head's England dream teams. Another couple of seasons in the Premier League and he could fetch big, big money - £12m+ 21. Guly do Prado - 31-year-old Brazilian who cops a lot of stick but could still do a decent job one division below or elsewhere. Re-sale value won't be much though - £250,000 - £500,000 22. Frazer Richardson - Dependable right-back and very solid at NPC level - £200,000-£500,000 23. Luke Shaw - Unbelievable for a 17-year-old. Shows maturity beyond his years and I can't think, with the exception of Ashley Cole, of a more complete full-back in England... complete, not just potential. And to think, he'll probably get better. Huge talent. Probably our most prized possession alongside Schneiderlin - £15m+ 24. Emmanuel Mayuka - Hasn't really had the opportunity so unless he performs well on-loan elsewhere, we'd unlikely get what we paid for him... we'd have to take a hit here - £1.5-2m 25. Danny Seaborne - Bog standard L1 centre-half - £100,000-£250,000 26. Jack Stephens - He'll have to prove himself somewhere first before he starts to add digits to his valuation - £100,000-£250,000 27. Richard Chaplow - We'll get more than we paid for him if he we re-signed him for - £400,000-£700,000 28. Calum Chambers - Who knows how he'll develop? - nominal 29. Ben Reeves - Played convincingly in L2, looks like he's above that level but it's too hard to say what we'd ask for him though. I'll hazard a guess - £150,000-£200,000 30. Cody Cropper - Not done anything to prove he's worth anything, surely? - nominal 31. Artur Boruc - Was once touted as one of the top 5 goalkeepers in the world. He's got his head screwed on right now, and hopefully we'll give him a new deal. If not, he foes as a free. If he does sign, however - £3-4m 32. Danny Butterfield - I don't think we'd ask for anything for him. Good, solid servant, will probably get a free transfer - £0-£75,000 33. Steve De Ridder - Unfulfilled potential. At this current stage, he's probably lost value though - £300,000-£1m (if we're lucky) 34. Corby Moore - Don't know - nominal 35. Sam Hoskings - Don't know - nominal 36. Jake Sinclair - Ummm, don't know - nominal 37. Dominic Gape - Haven't a clue - nominal 38. Andy Robinson - I've no idea - nominal 39. Lloyd Isgrove - No idea, again, like most above it's too early to say - nominal 42. Jason Puncheon - Enhanced his reputation like many Saints this year. His new contract could see us command more than what was mooted for him during his loan stay at Blackpool - £4.5m 00. Aaron Martin - Not fulfilled his potential, still looks a bit wobbly even at L1 level - £100,000-£200,000

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, I care. Not throwing any money in those buckets again, Pompey lovers!

Would be a good squad player for Liverpool.

One of the biggest pr1cks in football. In fact, the whole "golden generation" can f()ck off.

Big Radhi's still around

Oi oi, Phil Dowd's got two phones. Dirty bugger.

Some of the arrogance on there defies belief.

He's a right pr1ck. When he first went to the skates he gave it the false Adkins impression, trying to be a Mr Thoughtful, Mr Nice Guy and look as if he knew what he was doing. Within a couple of months, he'd reverted to the same personality every other Portsmouth manager has had; whinging, b1tching and moaning - which of course the phew rallied behind and lapped up his plucky troops mantra. They soon got wise to him. Well, most did as soon as he left them. Like everyone else who deserts them, he went from glorious leader of men to useless loser in seconds. I was reading the Blackburn forums today... they aren't very impressed with him at all It seems his brand of anti-football is seriously damaging his reputation and often-coined title of "best young coach in England".

Yeah, agree with that. Looks promising. I was also impressed with Karl Darlow, the keeper from Forest they had on loan there. My dad pointed him out at first, and I have to say, within 15 minutes I found myself agreeing with him.

March 30 Chelsea (H) D 1-1 April 6: Reading (A) L 2-1 April 13: West Ham (H) W 2-0 April 20: Swansea (A) L 2-1 April 27: West Brom (H) D 1-1 May 4: Tottenham (A) D 2-2 May 12: Sunderland (A) D 2-2 May 19: Stoke (H) W 3-1 10 more points. We'll be ok. 14th or 15th.

Hahaha! I absolutely love having him as our goalkeeper and was delighted we managed to get him. He really is a top, top goalkeeper. And a headcase, which is also brilliant. I'm sure the watch will be on show BTW, has anyone seen any pictures of him winding up Suarez?

Awesome. Now, next week, I want to see a tweet with a picture of Boruc and Poch smiling as he pens a new deal. Please.

I think the idea was to sail it as close to the wall as possible, aiming for Lallana who had added himself onto the wall to obscure Jones' view. After all the close shaves rickies had with free-kicks this year, it was great to see it go in, even if it was off Sturridges bum.

as i posted earlier...

I've just realised I say "That said" quite a lot. And YES, spot on too. Cabaye... yes, he's good. Toulalan, yes, good also. Have they got all the attributes Schneiderlin has? Have they f*ck.

United haven't got out of reverse and they're still winning. However, I really do need them to keep a clean sheet for my accy.... C'mon United.

Billy, go to the start of this thread. You'll find I'm taking the piddle... I've been one of his most staunch advocates

Our players are very, very underrated. - If Johnson can play for England, so can Clyne. - I haven't seen a better left back in England than Luke Shaw this season. Ashley Cole is still a top, top player, as is Baines but Shaw isn't far from that standard and he's getting better and better. - Cork is far better than tripe like Rodwell, Livermore, Henderson, Shelvey, Cleverley - FAR better. - For Lallana, see the same as above and add in the likes of greedy cloggers like Lampard, Gerrard etc. Yes, they WERE great players but they haven't got half the skill that Lallana has. The nearest player to Lallana, ability-wise, is Joe Cole. That said, Lallana's season has been arguably inconsistent and has also been injured for a while, which unfortunately means it takes time for him to bed back in and find form and fitness. - Lambert is simply a better footballer than Bothroyd, Zamora, Welbeck and Sturridge. That said, he's 31 and despite the fact that wouldn't really affect his game, he's not a "diamond earrings, braaaaaaaaaap-braaaaaaaap,Taio Cruz, white-booted, sweatbanded One Direction " type of footballer. His face doesn't fit. It's a bloody shame, really. - For Rodriguez, see above with the exception of maybe Sturridge. Having said that, he shows far more technical and finishing ability than Sturridge but he's a not a "braaaaaap-braaaaaap-in-the-club" footballer either. Unless he goes to a bigger club, he'll never get a chance. Despite all this, I'm partly delighted they're not in the squad for selfish reasons. They'd be surrounded by self-absorbed, overrated knobbers and I wouldn't want our players to absorb any of that. That said, it's very selfish of me and in my heart of hearts, I'd be delighted if some of our players got capped. Additionally, I still do believe they're going to have to play a good season or two in the top division before they might get a genuine chance. Whether that's with us, who knows? One things for sure though, our players are technically a lot, lot better than many of the players in teams above us.