End of the world nigh?

[saintwarwick]

Guys, relax, I can happily confirm that absolutely nothing went wrong when the LHC was fired up yesterday.

 

The black holes never materialised, but there seems to have been an unfortunate side effect with regards to time, which now seems to have started to go backwards.

 

Anyway the world hasn't ended, Thursday has become Wednesday and unless they fix it I'll shortly be 18 again so no problemo

 

Well at least we know we will definately get back to the premiership then

[EastleighSoulBoy]

Well, it looks like things are OK and that we are all sa.. .f. . .

 

. .

[Master Bates]

At the end of the day, if the hardon collider does go wrong, at least France & Germany get dicked first.

[saints_is_the_south]

At the end of the day, if the hardon collider does go wrong, at least France & Germany get dicked first.

 

.

[pedg]

Just in case this causes the end of the universe I think it only polite that we get all the worlds media to broadcast 'Ooops, sorry!' just beforehand so any ET out there knows who's fault it was.

[Master Bates]

Just failed according to the radio, they're just trying it again.

[scott_saints]

Are we dead yet??

[Master Bates]

If the world does end, will we get that sh*tty 'site closed for maintenance' page?

[pedg]

Just failed according to the radio, they're just trying it again.

 

Sort of expected as none of these sort of things have worked first time.

[Master Bates]

The biggest and most expensive machine ever built has finally been switched on. At 8.30am UK time, scientists at the CERN particle physics laboratory began their first attempt to fire a beam of particles around the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the £3.6bn atom-smasher that will open a new window on the Universe.

 

The LHC team is initially trying to pass the proton beam around just one of the 27km ring’s eight sectors, to ensure it is properly lined up. A “beam-stopper”, or block, is in place at the end of the first sector, about 3km in, to prevent the particle stream from passing further around the accelerator.

 

Once the beam is aimed correctly and can be seen passing through the first sector, the team will remove the first beam-stopper, and attempt to fire protons around three-eights of the ring. Over the course of the day, they hope to get it to pass around the entire circuit without touching the sides, and thus to start circulating.

 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article4722261.ece

[saintwarwick]

If the world does end, will we get that sh*tty 'site closed for maintenance' page?

 

Will we get a refund on the fiver we paid....

[Dog]

How much did they pay you to say that?

 

I have just spoken to my customer and he said it's true, he uses Nutrons and the hardon people use Protons, but it works the same. Do people really think they wouldn't test this before going public.

[CabbageFace]

The afterlife sucks aswell, i have to go to work and the m27 is still has alot of traffic on it.

[Johnny Shearer]

I've moved to a parallel universe.

 

On a serious note I agree with Dog, they must have done a serious amount of testing before going public.

[CabbageFace]

Im listening to it on Radio 4, if **** goes down i want to know and then i can donkey punch someone.

[Johnny Shearer]

Im listening to it on Radio 4, if **** goes down i want to know and then i can donkey punch someone.

 

Whats a donkey punch?

 

Its all well and good that all these mini blackholes will apparently dissipate and disappear in miniture bangs but what happens when one joins another and then another becoming one large blackhole?

[Master Bates]

Whats a donkey punch?

 

Its all well and good that all these mini blackholes will apparently dissipate and disappear in miniture bangs but what happens when one joins another and then another becoming one large blackhole?

 

Tee hee google it, the film looks alright too.

[Johnny Shearer]

Tee hee google it, the film looks alright too.

 

Ha ha, just have. Sounds dangerous.

 

Oh and that film looks great.......................and will still watch it at some point.

[TopGun]

I visited CERN in April and went down the tunnel near the LHC. There were bits of silver foil wrapped around the machinery like sandwiches!

[Bentley]

The world is safe again, it's over.

 

Now I have to go to ****ing work. Gimps.

[Master Bates]

 

http://webcast.cern.ch/index2.html

[Bentley]

Does anyone want to turn on my Large Hardon Collider?

[St Landrew]

I visited CERN in April and went down the tunnel near the LHC. There were bits of silver foil wrapped around the machinery like sandwiches!

 

Little patch bandages to bounce the photons back..!

 

I thought the original CERN particle accelerators had been around since the late 1970's so I looked it up. The first one was operating in 1957, and the CERN council itself was commisioned in 1954.

 

No wonder there are little bandages about.

[TopGun]

Professor Otto Rössler, a German chemist at the Eberhard Karls University of Tübingen who is one of the most vocal opponents of the LHC said: "CERN itself has admitted that mini black holes could be created when the particles collide, but they don't consider this a risk.

 

"My own calculations have shown that it is quite plausible that these little black holes survive and will grow exponentially and eat the planet from the inside. I have been calling for CERN to hold a safety conference to prove my conclusions wrong but they have not been willing.

 

"We submitted this application to the European Court of Human Rights as we do not believe the scientists at CERN are taking all the precautions they should be in order to protect human life."

 

Professor Rössler claims that, in the worst case scenario, the earth could be sucked inside out within four years of a mini black hole forming.

 

The case he and his colleagues have put before the European Court of Human Rights argues that the Large Hadron Collider violates the right to life and right to private family life under the European Convention of Human Rights

 

It sets out a series of arguments that suggest the collider could produce mini black holes that would permanently come into existence and grow uncontrollably.

[CabbageFace]

Professor Otto Rössler, a German chemist at the Eberhard Karls University of Tübingen who is one of the most vocal opponents of the LHC said: "CERN itself has admitted that mini black holes could be created when the particles collide, but they don't consider this a risk.

 

"My own calculations have shown that it is quite plausible that these little black holes survive and will grow exponentially and eat the planet from the inside. I have been calling for CERN to hold a safety conference to prove my conclusions wrong but they have not been willing.

 

"We submitted this application to the European Court of Human Rights as we do not believe the scientists at CERN are taking all the precautions they should be in order to protect human life."

 

Professor Rössler claims that, in the worst case scenario, the earth could be sucked inside out within four years of a mini black hole forming.

 

The case he and his colleagues have put before the European Court of Human Rights argues that the Large Hadron Collider violates the right to life and right to private family life under the European Convention of Human Rights

 

It sets out a series of arguments that suggest the collider could produce mini black holes that would permanently come into existence and grow uncontrollably.

 

He is mental and should stick to being a chemist.

[St Landrew]

He is mental and should stick to being a chemist.

 

Everybody is mental. We all have minds. Do you mean mentally impaired..? Again, I'd take issue. As he is a scientist, he's gone through many years of education and study. If he was mentally impaired it would have shown up before now.

 

Oops, you've started up my pedantic side again CF. Time for me to get off the forum before it develops into a full blown Mr Spock.

[CabbageFace]

Everybody is mental. We all have minds. Do you mean mentally impaired..? Again, I'd take issue. As he is a scientist, he's gone through many years of education and study. If he was mentally impaired it would have shown up before now.

 

Oops, you've started up my pedantic side again CF. Time for me to get off the forum before it develops into a full blown Mr Spock.

 

Owned.

[Ponty]

Is it true that the bloke out of D-Ream is one of the scientists working on the CERN project?

[Master Bates]

Is it true that the bloke out of D-Ream is one of the scientists working on the CERN project?

 

Tis true

[Ponty]

That's reassuring then.

 

Edit: Just looked it up and apparently it was the keyboard player. Let's hope his fingers are fast enough to hit the emergency stop button.

[Hatch]

It could be happening now, A ****load of police cars just went flying down the road

[CabbageFace]

It could be happening now, A ****load of police cars just went flying down the road

 

Hurricane Icke?

[dubai_phil]

It DID happen = we had a FOOKIN EARTHQUAKE = you Swiss bstds - 6.1 on the Richter scale FFS.

Mind you I actually thought it was my Drive landing on the fairway - was on the first Tee never felt a thing EXCEPT my drive went 320 yards which is about 80 more than usual.

 

We're ALL doomed I tell you. This is a desert, earthquakes here are as likely as having one in Birmingham

 

oh

[Master Bates]

It DID happen = we had a FOOKIN EARTHQUAKE = you Swiss bstds - 6.1 on the Richter scale FFS.

Mind you I actually thought it was my Drive landing on the fairway - was on the first Tee never felt a thing EXCEPT my drive went 320 yards which is about 80 more than usual.

 

We're ALL doomed I tell you. This is a desert, earthquakes here are as likely as having one in Birmingham

 

oh

 

It's 5 in the afternoon where you are, lucky g*t.

 

http://www.thenational.ae/article/20080910/NATIONAL/2531293/1001/FOREIGN

[dubai_phil]

It's 5 in the afternoon where you are, lucky g*t.

 

http://www.thenational.ae/article/20080910/NATIONAL/2531293/1001/FOREIGN

 

:-) And it's Ramadan, so if I actually WENT to an office to work at the moment rather than filling in trade licence application forms I'd only have to work from 10-4 by law anyway for a month...

 

Just means the rush hour starts earlier

[Gingeletiss]

Note the date........10.......09......08

 

 

Bang, we're dead..lol

[Ponty]

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

[Master Bates]

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

 

There's another like that, but it just says no

 

See http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

[EastleighSoulBoy]

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

 

 

Classy!

[Dark Munster]

 

Phew, the half of the world containing San Diego survives. :smt023

 

Bit of a bummer for the airline industry over here though.

[Jimmy_D]

Hm, first off, Stephen Hawking is English, and is considered one of the world best (possibly THE best) scientists, he was the first person to think of the big bang theory, as well as many theorems on black holes, and is also one of the longest lived survivors of ALS (a form of motor neurone disease), when he was first diagnosed with it when he was 21 he was given 3 years to live, he's now 66. His American voice comes from a voice synthesizer that isn't made any more, that he's had ever since he lost his own voice due to pnumonia, and he's never changed it as he didn't want his voice to change, it's how he thinks of himself as sounding.

 

As for the LHC, full speed collisions won't be happening for a few weeks, they'll be doing experiments that use the same sort of energy as currently existing particle accelerators have been doing for years.

Once they do start doing full speed collisions, they're expecting microscopic black holes to be created as a possibility, however, the term 'black hole' doesn't really explain it. A black hole is another term for a singularity, a point that has mass but no volume. The black holes that are going to be created are tiny, smaller than the mass of a single atom, and they'll decay in a fraction of a second due to Hawking Radiation. They won't suck the Earth in from inside out.

There are an awful lot of scientists involved in this, some of the greatest minds the world has ever produced, and the vast majority of them are absolutely sure that the LHC is safe, as they point out that higher energy particle collisions occur every second due to particles from the Sun hitting Earth. I'm sure that none of them have a death wish, and the vast majority would not be willing to risk their own lives and the lives of their families, let alone the entire world, for a scientific experiment, so if they say it's safe, I'm inclined to agree with them... I'm not going to suddenly go out and spend all my savings.

Of the scientists saying it might not be safe, none of them have anything more than a university degree as far as I've seen, so the probablility is that they're trying to make a bit of a name for themselves by associating their names with one of the biggest scientific events to ever occur.

 

Of course, there's always the chance that the scientists are wrong, and the world will all be sucked into a black hole that'll then continue to suck the rest of the solar system in, along with eventually neigbouring star systems, and then eventually orbits the black hole that our galaxy orbits around. Humanity will have left a giant 'we woz ere' sign that would last long after Humanity would have likely survived

[dubai_phil]

Passed on in a sort of "In the spirit of Prince Philip" vein, and without reflecting any personal point of view, I had a great Marketing guy working for me from Mumbai, a pillar of the local and very large Indian community in Dubai who passed on the following SMS that is going around their local "funnies by text" groups.

 

The LHC has just started up, nothing to worry about, over 200 Indian Scientists are working on the project.... Oh sh*t we're doomed!

 

Well, THEY think it's funny.

[Master Bates]

[Master Bates]

Certainly was the end of the world for this one

 

BHOPAL, India (Reuters) - A teenage girl in Madhya Pradesh killed herself on Wednesday after being traumatised by media reports that a "Big Bang" experiment in Europe could bring about the end of the world, her father said.

 

The 16-year old girl from Madhya Pradesh drank pesticide and was rushed to the hospital but later died, police said.

 

Her father, identified on local television as Biharilal, said that his daughter, Chayya, killed herself after watching doomsday predictions made on Indian news programmes.

 

"In the past two days, Chayya had asked me and other relatives about the world coming to an end on Sept. 10," Biharilal was quoted as saying.

 

"We tried to divert her attention and told her she should not worry about such things, but to no avail," he said.

 

For the past two days, many Indian news channels held discussions airing doomsday predictions over a huge particle-smashing machine buried under the Swiss-French border.

 

The machine, called the Large Hadron Collider, was switched on on Wednesday, at the start of what experts say is the largest scientific experiment in human history.

 

The machine smashes particles together to achieve, on a small-scale, re-enactments of the "Big Bang" that created the universe.

 

Leading scientists and researchers at the European Organisation for Nuclear Research, said the experiment was safe. They dismissed as "pure fiction" doomsday predictions that the experiment could create anti-matter, or black holes.

 

But in India fears about the experiment and the minor risks associated with it spread rapidly through the media.

 

In east India, thousands of people rushed to temples to pray and fast while others savoured their favourite foods in anticipation of the world's end.

 

"There were a thousand more devotees yesterday as well as today compared to (any) other normal day," Benudhara Sahu, a temple official in Orissa, told Reuters.

 

Many women and children rushed to temples and observed fasts as they prayed for deliverance, officials and witnesses said.

 

Assurances by scientists and the media that nothing would happen counted for nothing for housewife Rukmini Moharana.

 

"I visited temple, prayed to god," Moharana said. "I am observing the fast for safety because god can only save us."

 

http://in.news.yahoo.com/137/20080910/736/tnl-girl-kills-self-over-big-bang-fear-f.html

[Give it to Ron]

http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html

[Master Bates]

http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html

 

:shock:

[TopGun]

 

Of course, there's always the chance that the scientists are wrong, and the world will all be sucked into a black hole that'll then continue to suck the rest of the solar system in, along with eventually neigbouring star systems, and then eventually orbits the black hole that our galaxy orbits around. Humanity will have left a giant 'we woz ere' sign that would last long after Humanity would have likely survived

 

This is clearly why there are black holes elsewhere. More advanced alien lifeforms have previously conducted their own CERN type experiments with catastrophic effects...

[dubai_phil]

It's all perfectly safe. Nothing can go wrong, we are in complete control.

 

OH NO YOU'RE NOT!

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/09/12/scicern312.xml

 

Let's get our TSW wizards on there, hack in and get that black hole moving over to farton prak. We could do millions of pounds of improvements

[Saint in Paradise]

Only slightly off topic but seeing how people have reacted to this CERN situation is a

very good reason why alien encounters are kept as quiet as possible by all Govts.

[Saint Martini]

Another sign the end of the world is nigh:

 

Derby won a match!