SW11_Saint Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 To help with the inertia and ease some Sunday boredom, I am herby starting a "scurrilous rumour" thread about our new board and new management team. Bear in mind there is absolutely no requirement to base anything in fact (I haven't), actually, the more outrageously unrealistic the better. Let Fantasy Football begin... So, I hear that the money man behind our move IS actually Paul Allen!! He has kept a watching brief on our progress (or lack of it!) since his last contact with the club (when Jim Hone told him to "shove yer dirty American money where the sun don't shine son!" - thinking it was Lee Hoos on a wind-up). Allen plans to provide the club with a war chest of £100m, to finance a return to the Premiership within 3 years, however most of this will be provided once we are back in the Champioship. SMS will be renamed "The Vulcan Astrodome". Or something. I also hear that Tony Lynam and Matt Le Tiss (CEO and Dir of Football respectively under PA) are in discussions with Louis Van Gaal and plan to snatch him away from uner the nose of Bayern Munich who had believed he was 'in the bag'. Mark Wotte may be kept on to help with putting cones out for training, collecting balls etc. More news later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 A retirement home CEO will come in. His plan is to appoint a Manager a year, before giving the job to a Rugby coach. He's then going to bring in 2 lower league managers, and play the youth team. His revolutionary "Baldrick" like plan will stun football and lead us out of this division. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Chalet Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 A retirement home CEO will come in. His plan is to appoint a Manager a year, before giving the job to a Rugby coach. He's then going to bring in 2 lower league managers, and play the youth team. His revolutionary "Baldrick" like plan will stun football and lead us out of this division. :smt046 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintRobbie Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 A retirement home CEO will come in. His plan is to appoint a Manager a year, before giving the job to a Rugby coach. He's then going to bring in 2 lower league managers, and play the youth team. His revolutionary "Baldrick" like plan will stun football and lead us out of this division. LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SW11_Saint Posted 14 June, 2009 Author Share Posted 14 June, 2009 A retirement home CEO will come in. His plan is to appoint a Manager a year, before giving the job to a Rugby coach. He's then going to bring in 2 lower league managers, and play the youth team. His revolutionary "Baldrick" like plan will stun football and lead us out of this division. Look, I know I said make them "outrageous", but let's keep some sense of sanity... tchh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ottery st mary Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 (edited) Sorry new board..misread thought it was old board..disregard. Edited 14 June, 2009 by ottery st mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Look, I know I said make them "outrageous", but let's keep some sense of sanity... tchh... Sorry, that was a bit too far-fetched . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Following recent disclosures from sources it appears that the new Board of SFC Ltd have agreed that in light of probable reduced attendances that they will now play their home games in Eastleigh while renting out SMS for events that will gain a larger attendance, such as BNP party rallies, London Underground Worker strike vote meetings, disgruntled Iranian electorate rallies and most importantly as a rest home for former members of Gordon Brown's cabinet. (Although there are doubts as to whether the stadium will be large enough) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Saints to be bought by wealthy Arabic business consortium worth over 80p, almost three times as much as Woopert. They will then look to appoint a classic British manager, presumed to be Harry Redknapp, who will bring in Glenn Hoddle as his assistant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lordswoodsaints Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Make of it what you want but in the week I heard from a good source that we are getting our -10 points overturned,I have been waiting for a thread like this to post it as I didn't beleive a word of it. The league don't have a good case and realize that they could end up looking the fool when the new owners drag them off to court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Following recent disclosures from sources it appears that the new Board of SFC Ltd have agreed that in light of probable reduced attendances that they will now play their home games in Eastleigh while renting out SMS for events that will gain a larger attendance, such as BNP party rallies, London Underground Worker strike vote meetings, disgruntled Iranian electorate rallies and most importantly as a rest home for former members of Gordon Brown's cabinet. (Although there are doubts as to whether the stadium will be large enough) Will the MPs be claiming the mortgage payments on SMS from their expenses? A sort of 'static ex duckhunters lodge'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorpie the sinner Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 ALW and KK for me!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reggie Dunlop Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Make of it what you want but in the week I heard from a good source that we are getting our -10 points overturned,I have been waiting for a thread like this to post it as I didn't beleive a word of it. The league don't have a good case and realize that they could end up looking the fool when the new owners drag them off to court. Adding to this the premier league is in disarray due to the fact that setanta are or have gone in to adminstration and are in-extricably linked to all premier league clubs, this will mean a punishment of point deductions, the point deductions will be imposed on how much money you obtained from setanta. Also Liverpools holding company is also in administration they will further be punished, and in light of all this happening Luton have been reintstated into the championship as champions of the coming season and have purchased some old dinosaur from Newcastle United but the identity of the person is being kept quiet, although sources are leaking info that he is in hiding behind the skirting board of the England dressing room Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
up and away Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Make of it what you want but in the week I heard from a good source that we are getting our -10 points overturned,I have been waiting for a thread like this to post it as I didn't beleive a word of it. The league don't have a good case and realize that they could end up looking the fool when the new owners drag them off to court. I am not completely sure about this as any appeal will be heard by other FL chairman, with history showing they don't make U turns. But if the club approached the FL prior to the cut off date for taking the -10 points this season and we received an unequivocal NO to a deduction because of our structure. Then we should be afforded the luxury of back dating that -10 points to last season, leaving this season completely clear. Even then there is no guarantee that the FL would change anything and whether we can go outside the FL structure to do anything about it? In any normal legal case with the proviso's being in our favour, anyone would say we have a good case. In the case of the FL, I really doubt there will be any change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Our new owner will infact be.... ME I will institute a 'Galactico' policy of signings using the vast quantities of a transfer WARCHEST (The chest recently found in the clearout of my recently grandfather's house... not sure what's in it, but it will be used!) St Mary's will be renamed the 'The Meccano Set' and the Northam Stand will be set aside specifically for the Yoof. All non-chav fans relocated from the Northam will be assigned the Chapel End. The pitch is to be relaid as astroturf and Hope Powell will be manager. The plan, cups winners within 5 years! (Yep, the FA trophy!) Either that or the Paul Allen take over thing initially stated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 A retirement home CEO will come in. His plan is to appoint a Manager a year, before giving the job to a Rugby coach. He's then going to bring in 2 lower league managers, and play the youth team. His revolutionary "Baldrick" like plan will stun football and lead us out of this division. This would be fantastic! Sadly, good things don`t happen to Saints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dicko Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 I saw Kevin Keegan in Tesco Bursledon yesterday He was buying shampoo for damaged or permed hair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arizona Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Apparently we are going to sign Rudi Skacel. and Paul Wotton is selling Uranium to North Korea. I know several other rumours, but these are the only ones I can guarantee to be 100% true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Apparently we are going to sign Rudi Skacel. and Paul Wotton is selling Uranium to North Korea. I know several other rumours, but these are the only ones I can guarantee to be 100% true. Is it enriched? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 I saw Kevin Keegan in Tesco Bursledon yesterday He was buying shampoo for damaged or permed hair Was it enriched? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Apparently we are going to sign Rudi Skacel. Don't be stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 BWP is to set up a charitable event for the benefit of those ladies earning a miserly amount or the minimum wage by working unsocial hours to make ends meet. This excludes girls forced to walk the streets as they are already provided for by The David Pleat Foundation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viking Warrior Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Kevin Keegan was advised by Cathy Shearer which shampoo to buy.\ A spokesperson close to Cathy shearer stated that KK has root problems and as Alan and I are moving back to Southampton , aa new opportunity has arisen for me to open ahair saloon aimed specifially at aging 70's/ 80's footballers and pop stars Leo Sayer and KK have already signed up to this venture, Although Cleo lane is a bit reluctant as she now uses wigs. Its the mountain air getting to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Make of it what you want but in the week I heard from a good source that we are getting our -10 points overturned,I have been waiting for a thread like this to post it as I didn't beleive a word of it. The league don't have a good case and realize that they could end up looking the fool when the new owners drag them off to court. well, whats the source then? or are you just another pr**kteaser? I suspect the latter;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paris Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Just saw Ronaldo at Eastleigh Aiport..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dalek2003 Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Showing a new flush of ambition the Board have decided to give Steve Wigley another chance at management and re-launch the catering facilities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SW11_Saint Posted 14 June, 2009 Author Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Just saw Ronaldo at Eastleigh Aiport..... Ronaldo McDonaldo you mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amesbury Saint Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Saints to win a home match next season Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lordswoodsaints Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Saints to win a home match next season I think you have gone a bit far with this rumour,now you really are taking the p155 :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Channon's Sideburns Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Kevin Keegan was advised by Cathy Shearer which shampoo to buy.\ A spokesperson close to Cathy shearer stated that KK has root problems and as Alan and I are moving back to Southampton , aa new opportunity has arisen for me to open ahair saloon aimed specifially at aging 70's/ 80's footballers and pop stars Leo Sayer and KK have already signed up to this venture, Although Cleo lane is a bit reluctant as she now uses wigs. Its the mountain air getting to me You had me until the 'Cathy Shearer' bit...Al's wife is called Lainya.... My sister's friend used to work with her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 This one is certainly not believable England just won an exciting cricket match Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Channon's Sideburns Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Rupert Lowe has booked in a 'gender reassignment'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 Rupert Lowe has booked in a 'gender reassignment'... ..and has been expelled from the Socialist Workers Party for being too militant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 ..and has been expelled from the Socialist Workers Party for being too militant. ...AND has been unveiled as the new face of Head and Shoulders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 ...AND has been unveiled as the new face of Head and Shoulders. ..AND will front an advertising campaign for L'Oreal for their newly launched skincare products - the 'Don't be a beetroot cheeked bastard' range - and says "because I'm worth it " at the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paris Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 No Ronaldo.. Ronaldo McDonaldo you mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLOTH EARS Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 I can reveal that Saints have made an approach for Iusevi Agra the former Italian hardman and his assistant the former Cameroon international Erec T'memba. These two have been a major success in Italian serie D for FC Stiffi, who narrowly missed out on promotion last year. It is hoped that the Italian club can also be persuaded to release star striker Iava Bighardi for a reasonable fee as his contract is up at the end of the coming season. Saints have shown firm interest in the player who is rather good at keep ups!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintRobbie Posted 14 June, 2009 Share Posted 14 June, 2009 I heard a rumour than 19 Canteet now has his own eye gym. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wopper Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 Ex chairman becomes a crossdresser and wishes to be known as Lola. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxstone Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 Ex chairman becomes a crossdresser and wishes to be known as Lola. So will we see "Lets Go Lola" T-Shirts in the club shop now ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Channon's Sideburns Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 So will we see "Lets Go Lola" T-Shirts in the club shop now ! Which makes Ray Davies our new owner....ahhhh just think we can run out to 'Itchen Sunset'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxstone Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 Which makes Ray Davies our new owner....ahhhh just think we can run out to 'Itchen Sunset'.... "You really got me going" for a moment ! Pity Bale is'nt still here as "Apeman" might have been a good option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinhk Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 According to my source the Premier League are introducing new standards of stadium quality from the start of the 20010/11 season. Fratton is officially recognised as unsuitable for top-flight football and PFC will be demoted to the Blue Square league. In order to maintain the geographical spread of PL football, a south-coast club will be awarded bonus points in the upcoming season, enough to see them fast-tracked to the Premier League. My source does not know which team is to be fast-tracked, however the FL chairman was seen exiting the latest meeting bearing a smug grin and it has been rumoured that the selected club has a name starting with the letter "B". Oh well...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KMondo Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 Just saw Ronaldo at Eastleigh Aiport..... Hope we don't sign him. A poor man's David McGoldrick, IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Landrew Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 A retirement home CEO will come in. His plan is to appoint a Manager a year, before giving the job to a Rugby coach. He's then going to bring in 2 lower league managers, and play the youth team. His revolutionary "Baldrick" like plan will stun football and lead us out of this division. You couldn't make it up. And sadly, you didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 Here's an outrageous rumour http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A53186268 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killers Knee Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 Shearer to return..... http://www.guardian.co.uk/global/2009/jun/08/premierleague-arsenal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhitmonSaint Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 I am Tony Lynam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Tone Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 I can reveal that Saints have made an approach for Iusevi Agra the former Italian hardman and his assistant the former Cameroon international Erec T'memba. These two have been a major success in Italian serie D for FC Stiffi, who narrowly missed out on promotion last year. It is hoped that the Italian club can also be persuaded to release star striker Iava Bighardi for a reasonable fee as his contract is up at the end of the coming season. Saints have shown firm interest in the player who is rather good at keep ups!!! Lol I hear that actually the real new manager will be announced just a bit too early after great excitement and be a big let down on the night -- but then that happens to every club sometimes I'm told ;-) K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SFKA South Woodford Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 Well, I bumped into Marty McFly yesterday, and he told me that Saints would go all of next season without conceeding a goal at St Marys and that David McGoldrick would score 49 goals next season. The bad news was though that this was still only good enough for a play off spot though, unfortunately his Almanac didn't cover the playoff's, so he was unable to say if we achieved promotion. However he did say that Saints were in the Championship a couple of years later, so fingers crossed. That's all he had time to say though, as he had to get to pompey to get some rubbish for his 'Mr Fusion', so I gave him directions to Fratton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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