SNSUN

Never heard of most of these. Music has been shyte for ages. Not sure who this Wotsit is, but I recognised Cesc Fabregas.

Adele really shouldn't ever open her mouth... to speak. She should be made to sing everything she wants to say for the rest of her life.

Come on Barnsley - I still think they could do us the biggest favour of the night if they win or draw their game.

The games are indeed going a bit iffy, but it's early days. (That's a quid Trousers owes me.)

This is my viewpoint too. West Ham and us will battle it out for top - they may go top tonight but it's not over until the fat Sharp sings. Let's get as many points between us and third spot as possible. Promotion is promotion - I don't care if it's as champions.

No offering me £4 this time! I need to recoup my SaintsWeb fiver somehow...

For $10 I will wait to pay you for your services to lucky smokes.

Not signing him gave a chance to Oxo, and I think we, and Arsenal can be thankful for that. Wasn't he out of contract that summer of 2010, but Reading gave him a new contract so they'd get some money if we wanted to sign him?

If you give me £5 I will post my thoughts of tonights games on this thread. :-D

We have Guly, Punch, De Ridder and Chaplow all fighting it out for a spot on the right - I think we're covered. Don't get me wrong, I loved Antonio when he was here, my missus did too, but we have better now.

Ironically I have an inkling Blackpool will win tonight, which on the face of it is good, because West Ham will stay below us and lose one of their games in hand, but that means Blackpool are 3 points closer to us. I don't care about West Ham in spite of hating them for their egotism, as long as the sides below us drop points. So, in summery, I hope it's a draw! Boro I struggle to worry about at the moment. My support tonight is on Barnsley!

It's really not, but the grounds are very impressive.

He helped fund the loan of Jason Roberts I believe, and has stated he sees Reading's future as investing in the youth. I'm not in contact with him anymore, wish I bloody was - I'd berate him for choosing Reading! (Although our school, Bearwood College, is in the area. (Winnersh.))

Reading won't want to let him go at this stage of the season, and anyway Steve Bruce must be favourite for that job. Incidentally I went to school with Reading's new owner Anton Zingarevich. He was in my year, and in my boarding house - and is a very nice bloke. So was his brother Denis. I'm Not sure where his money's come from, but I think his Daddy is rich. (I mention not the Russian mafia...)

I get married in June, and not once did this thought cross my mind. Granted, as my fiancee is not religious, we're having a secular hotel wedding, but we have been asked to provide music to walk into/out of with. This would do, it's not too religious a tune that it would be out of place...

Q: What kind of money to polo bears use? A: Ice lolly! Q: Have you ever hunted bear? A: No, but I've been shooting in my shorts! Q: How do you start a teddy bear race? A: Ready, teddy, go! Q: What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? A: A bear faced lyre! Q: Why do bears have fur coats? A: Because they'd look stupid in anoraks! Q: What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? A: A teddy boar! Q: What should you call a bald teddy? A: Fred bear! Q: What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A: A little bear!

Does anyone know any jokes about naked people? I could use a laugh.

When Chavs say "Bare Jokes" to signify something that's funny, does anyone know the origin of the phrase? I was just wondering. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bare%20jokes

I wonder if anyone has ever ended up here that genuinely meant to be in Perth, Scotland.

I wonder if anyone has gone here and genuinely meant to go to Perth in Australia.

... is a rare misspelling of Perf, which is a river in Germany. Mistakes like these are generally made by those with a lisp. Does anyone on here have a lisp?

There are some crackers, I used to have to sing lots of them every day of the week way back when, but one of my favourites (and actually one of my favourite tunes of all time, old or modern) is Morning Has Broken. Then there's other godduns like I Vow To Thee, All Things Bright And Beautiful and For Those in Peril On The Sea.

Anal itching may be just an annoyance, or may be so troublesome that it dominates your life. It is usually made worse by warmth, and is often most troublesome in bed. The skin round the anus easily becomes irritated and inflamed. This is because it is difficult to keep the area round the anus clean and dry; the skin is crinkly and traps tiny faecal particles. It is also sweaty and airless, and it may be moist from an anal or vaginal discharge. When it becomes irritated, scratching is a natural reaction, but this damages the skin further – the itch/scratch cycle. Ointments and creams can cause further problems by keeping the area damp. Although it is very unpleasant, anal itching seldom means anything serious. Washing too much or not enough. Poor hygiene can be responsible for anal itching, but so can excessive cleaning, especially if you use harsh soaps or a brush. How you can help yourself Wash the anal area after you have had your bowels open, but not more than three times in a day, using an unperfumed soap and water. Some doctors recommend using aqueous cream (available from pharmacies) as a cleanser. Apply the cream, massage it gently over the area and then rinse off. If you are somewhere where you cannot wash, clean the area with wet tissues (but not with pre-moistened wipes). If you use shower gel to wash your body, make sure you rinse it off very thoroughly so that none remains between the buttocks. Dab gently with a soft towel to dry – do not rub. If drying is difficult, use a hairdryer on cool setting. Do not put any disinfectant on the skin or in the bath water – this can irritate the skin. Do not use bubble bath – the perfume can irritate. Instead, put a handful of kitchen salt in your bath. Keep a cotton-wool ball, dusted with powder, against the anus, inside your underpants or knickers. Use baby powder (not perfumed talcum powder) to dust it. Change it each time you wash. Wear loose cotton underwear. Avoid tights and elastic ‘shapewear’ underwear, because they encourage sweating and moistness in the anal area. Avoid anything that keeps the buttocks close together. Do not use biological (enzyme) washing powders for your underwear, or perfumed fabric softeners. Instead, use a detergent labelled ‘for sensitive skin’. Do not scratch. If you scratch, you damage the skin more and then you itch more. If you feel you really must scratch, try pinching the skin near the anus between your thumb and forefinger through your clothing; this is less damaging than actual scratching. People often scratch at night and do not realize they are doing so. If you think you might be scratching at night, talk to your doctor about taking an antihistamine, keep your fingernails short, wear cotton gloves at night for a while and ask your doctor to check for threadworms. Do not use any greasy creams (such as Vaseline) on the area. Greasy creams keep the skin soggy and make the problem worse. Be very cautious about anaesthetic creams or ointments. Sometimes they can help by relieving the itch/scratch cycle, but use them only for a short period (about a week). Similarly, be very cautious about steroid creams. In the UK, it is possible to buy weak steroid cream (containing hydrocortisone 1% or less) from pharmacies. In the short-term, the steroid reduces inflammation and therefore relieves itching but, in the long-term, it can make the skin thinner and worsen the problem. Resist the temptation to keep on using a steroid cream. Use it for just 1 week, then throw the tube away. Try witch hazel – an old-fashioned remedy available from pharmacies. Dab it on twice a day, but stop immediately if it seems to be making the problem worse instead of better. Dr James Le Fanu has a column in the Daily Telegraph that acts as a forum for readers’ solutions to health problems. Readers have reported that the inside of a banana skin can relieve itchy skin, including anal itching. Feel round the anus for lumps. This may not be easy, because the skin round the anus is normally puckered. A lump might be a wart, a pile or a skin tag alongside an anal fissure. Avoid foods that cause excessive flatulence. Hope this has been a help. good luck, and try the inside of the banana skin idea!

Lee's earned his place with THAT goal, but I must say it doesn't always pan out like that, and I can see Adkins even keeping faith with Sharp, or putting Connolly or Guly in. I hope not, as I really want Lee to settle here and come good. Our right wing has gone from suspect to fantastic in a matter of a month. Guly will most likely be utilised there rather than up front now we have Lee and Sharp, Puncheon needs to be kept happy, De Ridder has a contribution to make and Chaplow keeps playing himself into contention too. With Lallana undroppable, it's not like they can even switch to start on the left! Something's gotta give, but what a pleasant headache for Adkins.