Iran

[whelk]

Jon Stewart- “war is God’s way of teaching Americans geography”

[badgerx16]

18 minutes ago, whelk said:

Jon Stewart- “war is God’s way of teaching Americans geography”

I liked the bit of his show with the 4 Trumps explaining the war. Stewart, Colbert, and Kimmel have been brilliant over the last few months.

Stewart's podcast discussions, where he keeps things 'serious', are also excellent.

 

( 

Edited Thursday at 09:50 by badgerx16

[spyinthesky]

On 17/03/2026 at 16:11, whelk said:

Excellent- every day they have beaten them, what with being the best in the world.  Gas prices back to normal now the voters will love you even more.

Imagine this knob talking about the Vietnam War?
Week 1 - We have napalmed every member of the Vietcong, destroyed their tunnels and obliterated the NVA

Week 1018 - We have decided to leave with victory complete;we are just accounting for the whereabouts of 60,000 US soldiers

And by the way my Bone Spurs, which would have totally incapacitated anyone else, are improving since I have started ingesting bleach, and I am now able to enjoy a round of golf twice a day. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Donald J Trump.

[badgerx16]

4 minutes ago, spyinthesky said:

And by the way my Bone Spurs, which would have totally incapacitated anyone else, are improving since I have started ingesting bleach, and I am now able to enjoy a round of golf twice a day. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Donald J Trump.

Should that not be 'enjoy cheating at golf' ?

[egg]

19 minutes ago, badgerx16 said:

Should that not be 'enjoy cheating at golf' ?

18 holes in one? Even in the 450 yarders probably. 

[badgerx16]

The Italian Government has temporarily cut the rate of fuel excise duty, reducing the price of petrol and diesel by about ¢25 per litre.

[trousers]

Japanese reporter to Trump at White House press conference just now: "Why didn't you inform your allies, such as Japan, you were about to strike Iran?"

Trump: "well, you didn't tell us about Pearl Harbour"

🤦🏼

[badgerx16]

13 minutes ago, trousers said:

Japanese reporter to Trump at White House press conference just now: "Why didn't you inform your allies, such as Japan, you were about to strike Iran?"

Trump: "well, you didn't tell us about Pearl Harbour"

🤦🏼

/MLGMODE/

What he actually said was "You didn't tell ME about Pearl Harbour".

Yet another example of Trump's weak grasp of history. US intelligence, ( oxymoron ? ), knew an attack was coming, and the Japanese did not intend to attack without a declaration of war, they simply got the time zones mixed up.

And that was yet another war over access to oil.

/ENDMLGMODE/

Edited Thursday at 16:29 by badgerx16

[Turkish]

World War 3 is here guys.

[Holmes_and_Watson]

19 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

/MLGMODE/

What he actually said was "You didn't tell ME about Pearl Harbour".

Yet another example of Trump's weak grasp of history. US intelligence, ( oxymoron ? ), knew an attack was coming, and the Japanese did not intend to attack without a declaration of war, they simply got the time zones mixed up.

And that was yet another war over access to oil.

/ENDMLGMODE/

Why would they tell him? He wasn't born until '46 and even the not yet a glint in the milkman's eye had bone spur issues, keeping him well away from conflict.

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

"Without the U.S.A., NATO IS A PAPER TIGER! They didn’t want to join the fight to stop a Nuclear Powered Iran.

"Now that fight is Militarily WON, with very little danger for them, they complain about the high oil prices they are forced to pay, but don’t want to help open the Strait of Hormuz, a simple military maneuver that is the single reason for the high oil prices.

"So easy for them to do, with so little risk. COWARDS, and we will REMEMBER!"

 

What is he threatening exactly? Why isn't it something they can't do themselves considering how easy it is?

[Holmes_and_Watson]

8 minutes ago, Stripey McStripe Shirt said:

"Without the U.S.A., NATO IS A PAPER TIGER! They didn’t want to join the fight to stop a Nuclear Powered Iran.

"Now that fight is Militarily WON, with very little danger for them, they complain about the high oil prices they are forced to pay, but don’t want to help open the Strait of Hormuz, a simple military maneuver that is the single reason for the high oil prices.

"So easy for them to do, with so little risk. COWARDS, and we will REMEMBER!"

 

What is he threatening exactly? Why isn't it something they can't do themselves considering how easy it is?

He must know that our paper tiger will get all soggy in the strait of Hormuz. 

Besides, we're all off to the doctor's to check on our bone spurs, between seminars on how to correctly plan warfare. It's the lesson on how not to wreck the world economy today.

[Picard]

23 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

/MLGMODE/

What he actually said was "You didn't tell ME about Pearl Harbour".

Yet another example of Trump's weak grasp of history. US intelligence, ( oxymoron ? ), knew an attack was coming, and the Japanese did not intend to attack without a declaration of war, they simply got the time zones mixed up.

And that was yet another war over access to oil.

/ENDMLGMODE/

A mix up of time zones is not what stopped Japan making their declaration before the attack. US intelligence expected an attack but not specifically at Pearl Harbour.

(Unless you're doing conspiracy theories)

Edited 22 hours ago by Picard
Additional text

[egg]

37 minutes ago, Stripey McStripe Shirt said:

"Without the U.S.A., NATO IS A PAPER TIGER! They didn’t want to join the fight to stop a Nuclear Powered Iran.

"Now that fight is Militarily WON, with very little danger for them, they complain about the high oil prices they are forced to pay, but don’t want to help open the Strait of Hormuz, a simple military maneuver that is the single reason for the high oil prices.

"So easy for them to do, with so little risk. COWARDS, and we will REMEMBER!"

 

What is he threatening exactly? Why isn't it something they can't do themselves considering how easy it is?

It's his reason to exit NATO or ignore article 5 if anyone else ever invokes it. 

He can't be so stupid that he doesn't understand that NATO is a defensive pact, not a taskforce for Israel. 

[spyinthesky]

I sure many of the European countries would be happy to help Donnie and his cult but the recent outbreak of Bone Spur disease, probably created in a laboratory in CHINA, is adversely affecting a widespread ability to assist.

[tdmickey3]

25 minutes ago, egg said:

It's his reason to exit NATO or ignore article 5 if anyone else ever invokes it. 

He can't be so stupid that he doesn't understand that NATO is a defensive pact, not a taskforce for Israel. 

He is stupid

[Challenger]

1 hour ago, Picard said:

A mix up of time zones is not what stopped Japan making their declaration before the attack. US intelligence expected an attack but not specifically at Pearl Harbour.

(Unless you're doing conspiracy theories)

The US navy attacked and sunk a IJN submarine a few hours before the Pearl harbour raid and then documented the event as actually the US firing the first shots of WW2 !

[Weston Super Saint]

2 hours ago, egg said:

It's his reason to exit NATO or ignore article 5 if anyone else ever invokes it. 

He can't be so stupid that he doesn't understand that NATO is a defensive pact, not a taskforce for Israel. 

I'll take that bet!

[egg]

It turns out that Iran do have missiles that can reach Diego Garcia. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/ce84073mr06t?post=asset%3A54086aea-06c3-479c-9368-44dc3ddef223#post

Without being too alarmist, North West Iran to London is the same distance. 

[Turkish]

2 minutes ago, egg said:

It turns out that Iran do have missiles that can reach Diego Garcia. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/ce84073mr06t?post=asset%3A54086aea-06c3-479c-9368-44dc3ddef223#post

Without being too alarmist, North West Iran to London is the same distance. 

Since when has a Spanish B league player been a measure of how far a missile can travel?

[whelk]

19 minutes ago, egg said:

It turns out that Iran do have missiles that can reach Diego Garcia. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/ce84073mr06t?post=asset%3A54086aea-06c3-479c-9368-44dc3ddef223#post

Without being too alarmist, North West Iran to London is the same distance. 

On the plus side the country could do with a bit of the blitz spirit

[badgerx16]

40 minutes ago, egg said:

It turns out that Iran do have missiles that can reach Diego Garcia. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/ce84073mr06t?post=asset%3A54086aea-06c3-479c-9368-44dc3ddef223#post

Without being too alarmist, North West Iran to London is the same distance. 

Actually thwt says they don't. ( Assuming they followed the Supreme Leader's dictat ).....

"The distance from Iran to Diego Garcia is about 3,800km (2,361m). Iran's former supreme leader had ordered the maximum range of Iranian missiles should not exceed 2,000km (1,243m)."

Edited 4 hours ago by badgerx16

[egg]

9 minutes ago, badgerx16 said:

Actually thwt says they don't. ( Assuming they followed the Supreme Leader's dictat ).....

"The distance from Iran to Diego Garcia is about 3,800km (2,361m). Iran's former supreme leader had ordered the maximum range of Iranian missiles should not exceed 2,000km (1,243m)."

Unless they fired a missile that was going to fall half way, they have missiles that go that far. 

[egg]

The latest Aussie take:

'

THE DUMBEST EMPIRE IN HISTORY
How a man with no plan, no clue, and no conscience broke the global economy and then posted "winding down"

That's the phrase. "Winding down." Posted on Truth Social at 2 in the fucking afternoon like a bloke who just Googled "how to end a war" and picked the first result that wasn't Wikipedia.

Three weeks ago this spray-tanned fuckwit launched the largest military operation since Iraq. No congressional vote. No coalition. No fucking plan. Just vibes, a Fox News green light, and the emotional regulation of a toddler who's just been told the Maccas ice cream machine is broken.

He told us Iran's nuclear program was "obliterated" back in June. His words. Then eight months later he starts a full-scale war to destroy the thing he already destroyed. Which one is it, Donald? Did you lie then or are you lying now? Actually don't bother. The answer is both. It's always both.

And now, three weeks into a war that's closed the Strait of Hormuz, sent oil to $112 a barrel, pushed gas up a dollar a gallon in 30 days, and triggered the biggest supply disruption in the history of the global oil market, this weapons-grade fucking moron posts that he's "winding down."

While putting 5,000 more Marines on a boat from San Diego.

That's like dousing your house in petrol, chucking a match through the window, and telling the neighbours you're thinking about updating the curtains.

But first. Stop scrolling. This part matters.

168 little girls. Aged 7 to 12. Sitting in class in Minab. First morning of the war. Parents got panicked calls to come get their kids. Some were already there. Others were still driving. They didn't make it. A Tomahawk cruise missile hit the building. The roof collapsed on the children. Then they hit it again. And again. Triple tapped. A girls' primary school. 168 girls and 14 teachers dead while parents clawed through concrete with their bare hands.

And this mass-murdering sack of shit stood in front of cameras and blamed Iran. His own Pentagon found the US was responsible. They used targeting data that hadn't been updated since 2016. Any analyst with Google Earth could have checked. But Hegseth had already set the tone: "No stupid rules of engagement." "Death and destruction from the sky all day long." "We are punching them while they are down, which is exactly how it should be."

UNICEF confirmed 180 children killed. Human Rights Watch called it a war crime. Amnesty called it a war crime.

And now he's just gonna wind it down. Post on social media and stroll away. Those 168 tiny coffins don't even register.

Now. The plan. The strategy. The endgame.

There isn't one.

Senator Chris Murphy walked out of a classified briefing and said: "The war will end when Donald Trump wakes up and thinks he's tired of talking about the war."

And when Trump was asked when it'd be over? "When I feel it. Feel it in my bones."

His bones. His fucking bones. The exit strategy for a war that killed 168 schoolgirls is the skeletal system of a 79-year-old man who lives on Big Macs, Diet Coke, and his own bullshit.

And Speaker Mike Johnson defended this with, and I swear this is real: "His bones are informed by the intelligence."

That is an actual quote from an actual elected official in 2026. We are being governed by a ouija board in a suit. Dumbledore's Army with nuclear codes and a body count of children.

Sources from classified briefings told The Intercept: "The administration doesn't have a clue. They do not have an actual, real rationale, endgame, or plan for the aftermath of this."

The Pentagon "significantly underestimated" Iran closing the Strait of Hormuz. The most predictable military response in 40 years of strategic analysis. That's like invading Russia in winter and going "fuck me, it's cold."

The German Chancellor flew to Washington, asked Trump what the plan was, flew home and told reporters there is "clearly no joint plan." Translated into Australian: "This cunt has no idea what he's doing and we're all fucked."

Now here's the part they don't want you to understand.

This isn't going to be over when the bombs stop.

You can't rebuild refineries overnight. Qatar says 5 years to repair its LNG export capacity. Goldman Sachs says oil above $100 through 2027. Trump's own Energy Department says gas won't drop below $3 a gallon until end of 2027 at the earliest. The IEA says months or years to restore flows.

Years. Not weeks. Years.

Gas was $2.93 a month ago. It's $3.91 today. And it is not coming back. Steel and concrete do not give a fuck about your Truth Social post, Donald. Refineries don't watch Fox News. The laws of physics don't bend because a 79-year-old narcissist needs a win before the midterms.

Every dollar above what you were paying last month. That's Trump's war. Every grocery bill. Every diesel fill. Every family at the kitchen table working out what to cut. That is directly, specifically, undeniably the fault of Donald J. Fucking Trump and the 77 million oxygen thieves who voted for him. Three times.

His net approval on the economy is minus 29. The lowest in the history of this polling series. Lower than COVID. Only 27 percent approve of his handling of gas prices. That's not a poll. That's a fucking obituary.

He is a complete and unmitigated level 10 grand master fucking moron who has blundered arse-first into the largest energy crisis in a generation, killed hundreds of children, and is now posting "winding down" like a kid who's knocked over the Christmas tree and is slowly backing out of the room hoping nobody noticed.

We noticed, Donald. The whole fucking world noticed. And 168 families in Minab who will set an empty place at the table every night for the rest of their lives fucking noticed.

Welcome to the consequences of being the dumbest empire in history, brought to you by the most dangerous man who ever held public office.

You earned this. Every last fucking cent of it. Every last tiny coffin'

[badgerx16]

Amen.

[skintsaint]