SO16_Saint Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 Is it really that uncommon? My wife has had to (due to finances) start working Friday eve, sat an Sunday day. Since she has done so, im constantly being asked "how you doing with it" and "how you coping" and "you've drawn the short straw today then". Do women get the same response when they're out with the kids? id hazard a guess at no. Its really starting to p me off now, as though im doing something completely alien, and looking after my own kids is a chore. its hard, for sure, but bloody worthwhile. rant over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 Got a few comments when I looked after the ex's 3 year old but nothing too condescending. The attention from Single mothers towards a potential single father was however extremely flattering! Yeah, it can be tiring but it was so incredibly rewarding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minsk Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 I am my, almost 10 year old, daughter's primary care-giver and have been so all her life. I love it!! I don't think it is hard work at all, just incredibly enjoyable. Not only do we spend all weekend together but she and I also travel (usually to the UK) without her mother. Last year we even had a two week holiday in the Ukraine. A bit embarrassingly, she acted as my translator - her Russian s perfect, mine is far from it - a job she thoroughly enjoyed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 Don't have kids of my own but regularly look after my 8 year old nephew. It's not difficult. He likes doing most of the stuff I do and I get to become a kid again. A trip to the driving range, Maccy Ds, back to play with Lego, watch Star Wars and then a bit of fifa 14. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 Do it all the time for my 3, as do most fellas I know with kids. Deemed perfectly normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 I find it very easy but I totally understand that looking after children does not come naturally to many people and this they would find it very hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 I am my, almost 10 year old, daughter's primary care-giver and have been so all her life. I love it!! I don't think it is hard work at all, just incredibly enjoyable. Not only do we spend all weekend together but she and I also travel (usually to the UK) without her mother. Last year we even had a two week holiday in the Ukraine. A bit embarrassingly, she acted as my translator - her Russian s perfect, mine is far from it - a job she thoroughly enjoyed. Why do so many Russian / Belarussian women only have one child Minsk? Dont mean your circumstances obviously, in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 I look after mine. Was made redundant when my partner was pregnant with our first child. We didn't want to put them into nursery or anything so I stayed at home and got a part time evening job. Now they are both at school I work 9-3 and do the school run. My partner is a teacher so school holidays are no problem. It's amazing to be able to spend so much time with them. Even when they were being annoying and driving me nuts I'd think about how much better it was to be with them rather than sat in an office doing a job I didn't particularly care for. When my first son was small none of our friends had kids so I'd take him to toddler groups etc and get a few weird looks and comments from the cliquey mum's, some of who liked to tell me how I should be bringing up my own children despite the fact a lot of theirs were more badly behaved. I wouldn't have changed it for anything and count myself very lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 When my first son was small none of our friends had kids so I'd take him to toddler groups etc and get a few weird looks and comments from the cliquey mums. Thats the tricky bit. Ive looked after mine half time since the youngest was just 2. Kids like to play together but I dont know any other dads in the same position and it was tricky when they were younger (11 and 9 now) to strike up friendships with mums with kids, for obvious reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 Thats the tricky bit. Ive looked after mine half time since the youngest was just 2. Kids like to play together but I dont know any other dads in the same position and it was tricky when they were younger (11 and 9 now) to strike up friendships with mums with kids, for obvious reasons. I found the best method was to encourage my kids to be friends with the other kids who had the fittest mums. Most of them were so far out of my league it was never awkward. At least not until they'd caught me slyly eyeing them up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 Have never found it a problem or a big deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 I look after mine. Was made redundant when my partner was pregnant with our first child. We didn't want to put them into nursery or anything so I stayed at home and got a part time evening job. Now they are both at school I work 9-3 and do the school run. My partner is a teacher so school holidays are no problem. It's amazing to be able to spend so much time with them. Even when they were being annoying and driving me nuts I'd think about how much better it was to be with them rather than sat in an office doing a job I didn't particularly care for. When my first son was small none of our friends had kids so I'd take him to toddler groups etc and get a few weird looks and comments from the cliquey mum's, some of who liked to tell me how I should be bringing up my own children despite the fact a lot of theirs were more badly behaved. I wouldn't have changed it for anything and count myself very lucky. I've been thinking about looking for something 9-3 as I much prefer hanging out with my 4yo than working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 not a chore, but a pleasure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 My daughter (first one) is nearly 4 months old now, and last week I had her for a full day for the first time while her mummy enjoyed a well-deserved spa day (a birthday present from a group of her friends). Having done that for just one day, I reckon my lass deserves a frickin' medal for dealing with it day in day out, but I absolutely loved it. I took her into town for a bit then we went out to the park for a few hours. It was challenging, because she chose the day I had her to do the biggest sh!t that it's possible for a 3-month-old to do, and she tends to get a bit screamy when we have to change her nappy anywhere other than at home. But it came totally naturally to me and I can't wait to get the opportunity to do it again. I admit though that it doesn't come naturally to all men, or indeed to all women. I often see blokes pushing buggies looking extremely uncomfortable, usually wearing chavvy-looking sportswear, giving off the "I hope none of my cool mates see me" vibe, and it makes me chuckle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Who? Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 Love looking after my children. Pretty much share the looking after between me and my wife. Just got a job just around the corner to where I work, so I get to take my daughter to school 3 days a week and get my daughter (5) and my son (2) ready and fed in the morning. Take my son to the childminders. So much better than when I had to leave early and was back late. My wife has the career and I would love to be in a position to give up work to look after the 2 year old, but unfortunatey not. They soon grow up and I am not having anymore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 8 June, 2014 Share Posted 8 June, 2014 Would rather spend time with my daughter than almost anything else I can think of. My late Grandfather told me to treasure every moment as all too soon they are grown up and gone. He was rarely wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadgerBadger Posted 9 June, 2014 Share Posted 9 June, 2014 Embrace it and savour the moments as I'm sure you do, ignore the old fashioned ignorant mindset - it can be tough at times but then the greatest rewards are never easily won Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niceandfriendly Posted 9 June, 2014 Share Posted 9 June, 2014 Don't have kids of my own but regularly look after my 8 year old nephew. It's not difficult. He likes doing most of the stuff I do and I get to become a kid again. A trip to the driving range, Maccy Ds, back to play with Lego, watch Star Wars and then a bit of fifa 14. Oh. Well that's good of you to bring a bit of poison into the little lad's life to go with the rest of the days activities. #responsibleparenting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 9 June, 2014 Share Posted 9 June, 2014 Oh. Well that's good of you to bring a bit of poison into the little lad's life to go with the rest of the days activities. #responsibleparenting Im the irresponsible uncle so it's allowed. Is it windy up there on your high horse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 9 June, 2014 Share Posted 9 June, 2014 My late Grandfather told me to treasure every moment as all too soon they are grown up and gone. Yep, and before that they become teenagers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minsk Posted 9 June, 2014 Share Posted 9 June, 2014 (edited) Why do so many Russian / Belarussian women only have one child Minsk? Dont mean your circumstances obviously, in general. I think, for most, it's just a financial thing Tim. Unless one of them has a very well paid job both parents need to work here in order to survive. Also, in many cases, young couples live with one of their sets of parents as buying properties is hard to do here - mortgages are hard to obtain. So the parents and child/children often live in one room - until the grandparents pass on. It's just how it is here. Previously, of course, in the Soviet Union, people were given apartments to live in. Due to so many couples only having one child this is one part of the world where the population is in decline. In an attempt to counter this the government here have offered apartments to couples who have 3 or more children. I only know a few families who have done so. As for me, I have 3 grown up daughters from my first marriage and another one from this. Having now turned 50 I am happy to stop there. My wife is also happy not to have any more. She had been told years ago that she couldn't have any, so is very happy to have this one. Edit: Forgot to say - women here can have up to three years off for maternity leave. They receive a minimal amount of child support (about enough per month to buy one pack of nappies) during that time but lose it as soon as they go back to work. Edited 9 June, 2014 by Minsk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 9 June, 2014 Share Posted 9 June, 2014 Yep, and before that they become teenagers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niceandfriendly Posted 10 June, 2014 Share Posted 10 June, 2014 (edited) Im the irresponsible uncle so it's allowed. Is it windy up there on your high horse? Not too windy but damn, being up here gives a shocking view of all the 'loving' carers leading their kids into restaurants like McDonalds and filling their kids full of poisonous ****e on a daily basis. Legally, it's your right to poison your nephew this way but morally it's f*cking disgusting, no? Kids of a young age can't possibly know better, but we're old enough to know much, much better. Edited 10 June, 2014 by niceandfriendly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 10 June, 2014 Share Posted 10 June, 2014 Not too windy but damn, being up here gives a shocking view of all the 'loving' carers leading their kids into restaurants like McDonalds and filling their kids full of poisonous ****e on a daily basis. Legally, it's your right to poison your nephew this way but morally it's f*cking disgusting, no? Kids of a young age can't possibly know better, but we're old enough to know much, much better. There is a certain irony in your user name. where did I say daily? Didn't did I. You made that up in your sanctimonious faux rage. He gets a McDonalds once in a blue moon as a treat and only if his parents are happy for me to do it. You need to chill out, espousing your views on the world at large in such an aggressive way just makes you look like a bell end and accordingly people are less likely to listen to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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