Saint Marky Posted January 26 Posted January 26 (edited) Purely judging a book by its cover only, what career do you think any footballers past or present, would have taken if they hadn’t ended up playing football? Adam Armstrong : Postman Ross Stewart : Store security guard Ryan Manning : unemployed Mason Mount: drug dealing paid informant/grass Bruno Fernandes : Hairdresser Luke Shaw : Burger King Cook Joelinton : Serial Killer Edited January 26 by Saint Marky 2
tdmickey3 Posted January 26 Posted January 26 12 minutes ago, Saint Marky said: Purely judging a book by its cover only, what career do you think footballers would have taken, if they hadn’t ended up play football? Adam Armstrong : Postman Ross Stewart : Store security guard Ryan Manning : unemployed Mason Mount: drug dealing paid informant/grass Bruno Fernandes : Hairdresser Luke Shaw : Burger King Cook Roy Keane : Cage Fighter
Turkish Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Taylor Harwood Bellis looks like an electrician Jack Stephens - The guy who directs planes after they land James Ward- Prowse - Traffic Warden Ryan Manning - Barista in a crap coffee shop Tonda Eckhert - Spreadsheet geek, oh wait...... 1 4
Miltonaggro Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Adam Lallana - Adz at Toni & Guy Gavin Bazunu - carpet fitter Sam Edozie - Carphone Warehouse Flynn Downes - Black Cab game Joe Aribo - bus driver 4
Zorba Posted January 26 Posted January 26 (edited) Josh Quarshie - Drag queen Edited January 26 by Zorba 1
Miltonaggro Posted January 26 Posted January 26 6 minutes ago, Zorba said: Josh Quarshie - Drag queen Doubles up as the front end of a pantomime horse / camel. 1
sadoldgit Posted January 26 Posted January 26 (edited) Jack Stephens - Bouncer Adam Armstrong - Alter boy in a monastery. Tom Fellows - work experience boy Iain Dowie - failed boxer Matt Le Tissier - banjo player in the film Deliverance Terry Hurlock - extra in any Guy Ritchie movie Terry Paine - collecting money on the Dodgem fairground rides Nick Holmes - Shaggy in the Scooby Doo live action movie. Phil Foden - the kid who offers to look after your car if you park in the street in Liverpool. David Beckham - member of East 17 Sammy Lee - rear end of a pantomime horse Edited January 26 by sadoldgit 5
badgerx16 Posted January 26 Posted January 26 We all know what Peter Crouch said when asked what he would be if not a footballer; " A virgin". 1 9
Turkish Posted January 26 Posted January 26 3 minutes ago, badgerx16 said: We all know what Peter Crouch said when asked what he would be if not a footballer; " A virgin". That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously 1
badgerx16 Posted January 26 Posted January 26 1 minute ago, Turkish said: That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously I bet he never thought he would be doing TV ads for washing products.
beatlesaint Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Jack Stephens - Farm Labourer Gavin Bazunu - Postman Flynn Downes - KFC Food Taster Adam Lallana - Hairdressers Model Tonda - Hypnotist 1
USaintA Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Gavin Buzunu: Grape Crusher at a winery (good with his feet). Flynn Downes: Professional Crab Imitator (you know, because.... sideways). Damion Downs: Historical Battle Re-Enactment Specialist (because shooting accurately doesn't matter). Etc 1
rooney Posted January 26 Posted January 26 1 hour ago, badgerx16 said: We all know what Peter Crouch said when asked what he would be if not a footballer; " A virgin". He would be the man we saw at the circus on stilts wearing a red top hat and tails./ 1
Saint Marky Posted January 26 Author Posted January 26 (edited) Paul Merson- the guy at the start of a roadworks, operating manually the red stop/ green go signs. Anthony Gordon- petty criminal Virgil van Dijk- Stripper Jamie Redknapp- van dijk’s fluffer Edited January 26 by Saint Marky
Willo of Whiteley Posted January 26 Posted January 26 4 minutes ago, Saint Marky said: Paul Merson- the guy at the start of a roadworks, operating manually the red stop/ green go signs. He isn’t smart enough to do that.
Willo of Whiteley Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Flynn Downes, London cabbie Adam Armstrong, could see him as some farmhand boy Jack Stephens, bouncer, security guard Joe Aribo, circus performer Ryan Manning, a barista, and not a very good one Taylor Harwood-Bellis, a brickie Tonda Eckhart, IT geek, reminds me of Richmond from the IT Crowd Damion Downs, Bambi on ice Elias Jelert, a hobbit
Toussaint Posted January 26 Posted January 26 2 hours ago, Turkish said: That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously Watch his bio on Prime if you haven't already. he's had to endure a lot. 1
sadoldgit Posted January 26 Posted January 26 (edited) Fraser Forster - Herman Munster’s body double Gareth Bale - Cornelius in The Planet of the Apes Edited January 26 by sadoldgit 1
Convict Colony Posted January 26 Posted January 26 (edited) Ryan Manning - Pikey Wellington - Rubber Boot Manufacturer Tom Fellows - 90s Tribute Band Singer Edited January 26 by Convict Colony
Badger Posted January 26 Posted January 26 7 hours ago, sadoldgit said: Terry Paine - collecting money on the Dodgem fairground rides Good image. Is this based on seeing him - late 60’s/70’s - swaggering through town or into a pub wearing a sheepskin coat as was the fashion? The other option he might have had was greengrocer. 2
Badger Posted January 26 Posted January 26 7 hours ago, sadoldgit said: Phil Foden - the kid who offers to look after your car if you park in the street in Liverpool. Robbie Fowler or Carragher - the fuckers who’d threaten the small kid and nick it anyway 2
Toussaint Posted January 27 Posted January 27 Tonda . Not sure what his job exactly is, he’s a bit vague. All I know he has a lot of electronic devices and isn’t allowed within 500 meters of a school. 1
sadoldgit Posted January 27 Posted January 27 (edited) 15 hours ago, Badger said: Good image. Is this based on seeing him - late 60’s/70’s - swaggering through town or into a pub wearing a sheepskin coat as was the fashion? The other option he might have had was greengrocer. Yes! I remember a great description of him sporting “brilliantined sideburns.” Edited January 27 by sadoldgit
Whitey Grandad Posted January 27 Posted January 27 1 hour ago, sadoldgit said: Yes! I remember a great description of him sporting “brilliantined sideburns.” Are those all his own teeth or were some of them implanted by somebody else? 1
Secret Site Agent Posted January 27 Posted January 27 (edited) Russell Martin - Choreographer for Musical Youth tribute bands, teaching them to pass the Dutchie on the left hand side. Will Still - Model for Halloween Products Tonde Ekhart - Hypnotist at Butlins Adam Armstrong - Stunt man for Peter Dinklage Ross Stewart - Porter in the General Hospital Adam Lallana - Youth councillor Rickie Lambert - Crime enforcer who always has a funny anachdote Edited Saturday at 16:17 by Secret Site Agent 2
Thereisonlyonemickychannon Posted January 27 Posted January 27 On 26/01/2026 at 16:14, Saint Marky said: Paul Merson- the guy at the start of a roadworks, operating manually the red stop/ green go signs. Anthony Gordon- petty criminal Virgil van Dijk- Stripper Jamie Redknapp- van dijk’s fluffer Gordon is spot on!
Miltonaggro Posted January 27 Posted January 27 8 hours ago, sadoldgit said: Yes! I remember a great description of him sporting “brilliantined sideburns.” More flattering photo: 2
BarryVenisonsHair Posted January 27 Posted January 27 Armstrong would be the son of a potato farmer in medieval times
St. Ciervo Posted January 28 Posted January 28 On 26/01/2026 at 02:39, Saint Marky said: Purely judging a book by its cover only, what career do you think any footballers past or present, would have taken if they hadn’t ended up playing football? Adam Armstrong : Postman Ross Stewart : Store security guard Ryan Manning : unemployed Mason Mount: drug dealing paid informant/grass Bruno Fernandes : Hairdresser Luke Shaw : Burger King Cook Joelinton : Serial Killer Maybe for FedEx because he does not deliver on Saturdays or Sundays. 3
kitch Posted January 28 Posted January 28 On 26/01/2026 at 10:39, Saint Marky said: Purely judging a book by its cover only, what career do you think any footballers past or present, would have taken if they hadn’t ended up playing football? Adam Armstrong : Postman Ross Stewart : Store security guard Ryan Manning : unemployed Mason Mount: drug dealing paid informant/grass Bruno Fernandes : Hairdresser Luke Shaw : Burger King Cook Joelinton : Serial Killer Adam Armstrong as a postman is absolutely nail-on 😆
Miltonaggro Posted January 28 Posted January 28 4 hours ago, kitch said: Adam Armstrong as a postman is absolutely nail-on 😆 Angry little postman in shorts all year round, folding peoples post in half and leaving letterboxes up and gates open... 1
Stud mark of doom Posted Sunday at 13:41 Posted Sunday at 13:41 On 27/01/2026 at 19:30, BarryVenisonsHair said: Armstrong would be the son of a potato farmer in medieval times Potatoes were not imported to Europe until after the medieval period, so this would have been as productive as Armstrong as a premiership striker. 1
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