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If they weren’t footballers…

Saint Marky

By Saint Marky
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Saint Marky

Saint Marky

Posted
Posted (edited)


Purely judging a book by its cover only, what career do you think any footballers past or present, would have taken if they hadn’t ended up playing football? 

Adam Armstrong : Postman

Ross Stewart : Store security guard

Ryan Manning : unemployed 

Mason Mount: drug dealing paid informant/grass

Bruno Fernandes : Hairdresser 

Luke Shaw : Burger King Cook

Joelinton : Serial Killer

Edited by Saint Marky
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tdmickey3

tdmickey3

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Saint Marky said:


Purely judging a book by its cover only, what career do you think footballers would have taken, if they hadn’t ended up play football? 

Adam Armstrong : Postman

Ross Stewart : Store security guard

Ryan Manning : unemployed 

Mason Mount: drug dealing paid informant/grass

Bruno Fernandes : Hairdresser 

Luke Shaw : Burger King Cook

Roy Keane : Cage Fighter

Turkish

Turkish

Posted
Posted

Taylor Harwood Bellis looks like an electrician 

Jack Stephens - The guy who directs planes after they land

James Ward- Prowse - Traffic Warden

Ryan Manning - Barista in a crap coffee shop

Tonda Eckhert - Spreadsheet geek, oh wait......

 

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sadoldgit

sadoldgit

Posted
Posted (edited)

Jack Stephens - Bouncer

Adam Armstrong - Alter boy in a monastery.

Tom Fellows - work experience boy

Iain Dowie - failed boxer

Matt Le Tissier - banjo player in the film Deliverance

Terry Hurlock - extra in any Guy Ritchie movie

Terry Paine - collecting money on the Dodgem fairground rides

Nick Holmes - Shaggy in the Scooby Doo live action movie.

Phil Foden - the kid who offers to look after your car if you park in the street in Liverpool.

David Beckham - member of East 17

Sammy Lee - rear end of a pantomime horse

 

 

 

Edited by sadoldgit
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Turkish

Turkish

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, badgerx16 said:

We all know what Peter Crouch said when asked what he would be if not a footballer; " A virgin".

That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously 

  • Like 1
badgerx16

badgerx16

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Turkish said:

That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously 

I bet he never thought he would be doing TV ads for washing products.

USaintA

USaintA

Posted
Posted

Gavin Buzunu: Grape Crusher at a winery (good with his feet).

Flynn Downes: Professional Crab Imitator (you know, because.... sideways).

Damion Downs: Historical Battle Re-Enactment Specialist (because shooting accurately doesn't matter).

Etc

  • Like 1
rooney

rooney

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, badgerx16 said:

We all know what Peter Crouch said when asked what he would be if not a footballer; " A virgin".

He would be the man we saw at the circus on stilts wearing a red top hat and tails./

  • Like 1
Saint Marky

Saint Marky

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Paul Merson-  the guy at the start of a roadworks, operating manually the red stop/ green go signs.

Anthony Gordon- petty criminal

Virgil van Dijk- Stripper

Jamie Redknapp- van dijk’s fluffer 

Edited by Saint Marky
Willo of Whiteley

Willo of Whiteley

Posted
Posted

Flynn Downes, London cabbie

Adam Armstrong, could see him as some farmhand boy

Jack Stephens, bouncer, security guard

Joe Aribo, circus performer 

Ryan Manning, a barista, and not a very good one

Taylor Harwood-Bellis, a brickie

Tonda Eckhart, IT geek, reminds me of Richmond from the IT Crowd

Damion Downs, Bambi on ice

Elias Jelert, a hobbit

 

Toussaint

Toussaint

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Turkish said:

That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously 

Watch his bio on Prime if you haven't already. he's had to endure a lot.

  • Like 1
Badger

Badger

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, sadoldgit said:

Terry Paine - collecting money on the Dodgem fairground rides

Good image. Is this based on seeing him - late 60’s/70’s - swaggering through town or into a pub wearing a sheepskin coat as was the fashion? 

The other option he might have had was greengrocer. 

  • Like 2
Badger

Badger

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, sadoldgit said:

 

Phil Foden - the kid who offers to look after your car if you park in the street in Liverpool.

 

Robbie Fowler or Carragher - the fuckers who’d threaten the small kid and nick it anyway 

  • Like 2
Toussaint

Toussaint

Posted
Posted

Tonda . Not sure what his job exactly is, he’s a bit vague. All I know he has a lot of electronic devices and isn’t allowed within 500 meters of a school. 

sadoldgit

sadoldgit

Posted
Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, Badger said:

Good image. Is this based on seeing him - late 60’s/70’s - swaggering through town or into a pub wearing a sheepskin coat as was the fashion? 

The other option he might have had was greengrocer. 

Yes! I remember a great description of him sporting “brilliantined sideburns.”

 

 

 

image.jpeg

Edited by sadoldgit
Whitey Grandad

Whitey Grandad

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, sadoldgit said:

Yes! I remember a great description of him sporting “brilliantined sideburns.”

 

 

 

image.jpeg

Are those all his own teeth or were some of them implanted by somebody else?

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Secret Site Agent

Secret Site Agent

Posted
Posted

Russell Martin - Choreographer for Musical Youth tribute bands, teaching them to pass the Dutchie on the left hand side.

Will Still - Model for Halloween Products

Tonde Ekhart - Hypnotist at Butlins

Adam Armstrong - Stunt man for Peter Dinklage

Ross Stewart - Porter in the General Hospital

Adam Lallana - Youth cpouncillor

Rickie Lambert - Crime enforcer who always has a funny anachdote

 

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