Penguins are evil. They spy at me and make me nervous, I wonder what they're plotting. My missus loves penguins, she has dozens of stuffed, porcelain and china penguins scattered around the house. Freaks me out.
Then I notice that in various garden centres, penguins seem to be the Christmas animal of choice. Nottcutts are the biggest culprit, their Christmas section is literally a nightmarish Hell, full of the evil little furry bastards.
Down with penguins.