SNSUN

That's the before shot. I like projects, take a fitty and make them a fatty.

Genius idea. Beats soaking the lettuce in molten lard.

They're all black and white on my banner, I don't see what the fuss is about. My biggest worry is the lack of orientals on there. I demand an oriental ex-Saints player to be put on the banner. FFS.

I love fat women. This picture is my porn. My missus is a big gal, mind you she hates it and is on a diet - I keep trying to find ways to fatten her up, but she catches me every time. Actually I'm very un-choosy - there are very few women in the world I wouldn't do.

Would "X" be the first Saints player with an "X" in his name? :-)

Woo

I used to come on here for breaking news, then follow the links to the OS. Now Cortese has got more crafty, I use the Twitter link on my phone and go straight to the OS. I think that's pretty good statistics really.

So don't tell him! Say you need him as a striker, get his name on that contract, then as soon as the ink dries, stick him on the wing. Perhaps not the greatest way to treat a footballer, but then it'd be up to him to get a strikers spot when he gets the opportunity.

It's there for your entertainment. Spank away.

Friday - Work then following Twitter waiting for SFC to announce something worth waiting up for. Saturday - Work, then into Windsor to make an appearance at a mate's birthday that I really don't want to go to as I can't drink. Sunday - Work, then wondering where my life went wrong.

God knows what info they can steal - my name isn't really SNSUN and that isn't really a picture of my arse.

He's arrived!!! www.saintsfc.co.uk/thisisn'tareallinktoTysonsigning

Meh, I'd rather have back up to Lambert - Messi's not tall enough.

Tyson is a perrenial HCDAJFU - I would say the majority on here has wanted him for so long now that he'd definitely be the marquee signing we crave. I still doubt it will happen, but no more than any transfer I see written somewhere until it's confirmed.

There will be no announcement tonight, I have it on good authority from within the club. You all might as well just turn your computers and phones off, and get an early night. (Mwahahaha, now I might actually get to post "latest news" on here before anyone else...)

John Bardon to be wheeled around the stadium before Plymouth game...

If I get blown apart by a terrorist bomb, there's not a bloody lot I can do about it. If I worried about terrorists, I'd quit my job at the most bombable place in Britain working for the most bombable transport system in Britain.

We could re-sign Dani Rodrigues, p'raps not though.

Pumiceing my mum's feet for 5 quid pocket money. In real job terms, then tempting for Audi UK. Data entry, they wanted sixty forms inputted in one hour. It took three minutes at least to do each one. Everyone got to drive the new TT, the original one, except me. I was let go for being too slow. We all were. Sixty in an hour was impossible.

I stand by my prediction that Pulis will make 5 or more appearances this season. Seriously.

Aside from Fraser's injury, and waiting for Bart to sign, our back five spots are fine. Really we're three signingS away from League One perfection, a midfielder in the middle and a pacy winger and a tall striker. I am fully confident in Pardew though, he'll know what he needs.

Can someone please tell me when she's legally old enough for me to spank it over her pictures... In seriousness, high profile footballers should know better. They should keep their noses, and knobs, clean.

Worst toilet I ever visited was at a weird club in Brighton. No lock on the door, no bog roll, no toilet seat, just the metal of the bowl which was caked in puke and shyte stains, the floor about two inches deep in urine, and I chose that moment to have the squits. I squatted, let the watery wrath of god fly out of me, used my handkerchief and socks to clean up, threw the whole lot out the window behind the toilet and ran like buggery back to my hotel room to clean up. I sincerely hope nobody was below that window, they,d have been scarred for life.

I weigh 24 stone. Though Bout 8 stone of that is my Willy. I think our shirts come up small anyway. I bought a home shirt.in January and I'm usually extra large, but it is a bit snug.