Jump to content

Pitch Patterns


Hatch

Recommended Posts

Anybody got any favourites on the way the pitch is mown?

 

Maybe this year it could be a sash effect, from corner to corner.

 

or perhaps you prefer the more traditional stripes.

 

I think this needs to be discussed before the first home game.

 

PS. It should never be tartan.

 

:rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Or maybe "f*ck you Saints fans"

 

That would be more appropriate.

 

Now now Stuart, you have made your point.

 

I was merely suggesting our former sponsor's planes would have a good view of the grass design.

 

It would be much too difficult to write the message in 4 different directions too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From the OSnot

 

Saints fans are being offered a new way to show their support for Season 2010/11. Our new run the club as a business model will now allow our fans to sign up to mow the grass at SMS in the design of their choice. For a one of fee of a commemorative 125 pounds, fans will be able to spend an afternoon with the lawnmower of their choice.

 

Saints Spokesman stated this is a win win solution for the club, we can reduce our operating overheads by reducing our need to pay for a full time Groundsman as well as increasing our revenue share from Stadium Activities as the fans queue for this once in a lifetime opportunity.

 

The club has confirmed that the Concourse Bars will be opened AFTER the mowing has been completed to avoid any unfortunate errors, but will launch their Beeranburger promotion for all mowers at the special price of 9.50 for an organic Steak Pie and a glass of Pimms

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All pitches should be mown in the standard lines across the pitch style because it's easier to judge offside decisions, fact!

 

Well, it's a lot easier to see offsides on tv with a reference line across the pitch, so presumably it would also help linos to get the occasional one right as well...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The club's really not thinking big enough on these alternative revenue streams.

 

Renting out the stadium for a mass mow-in - GBP 1000 (petrol extra)

 

Sponsor your own seat - only £200 (per game) to display a small commercial logo (max size 100mm x 25mm) on your own rented seat

 

Start flogging chips on the concourse at 1.50 a go and charge an extra (optional) 25p for the salt and vinegar (why should one chip muncher subside another's condiment habits?)

 

Open the stadium on non-match days for extra revenue; get the giant screens to display pictures of: Chairman Mao (the other one), Rupert Lowe, Nick Clegg, Ashley Cole, Cortese, MLT, Lucy Pinder, Craig David, Stu Romsey Saint, Ricky Lambert etc. The crowd can become emotionally excited as their favourites are displayed and then throw coins at large targets in the shape of grabbing hands when their enemies appear. An absolute steal at only 5 pound admission (plus 7 pound booking fee).

 

You read it here first.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We're not mowing it. We're letting it grow long so that, during pre-season training, we get plenty of practice on shyte pitches - which should do us well at crappier stadiums.

 

Then, as the season commences, we'll be mowing a line into the pitch, one a month, in installments through the season.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We're not mowing it. We're letting it grow long so that, during pre-season training, we get plenty of practice on shyte pitches - which should do us well at crappier stadiums.

 

Then, as the season commences, we'll be mowing a line into the pitch, one a month, in installments through the season.

 

Good Idea, I'll take my rotavator to staplewood

Link to comment
Share on other sites

is this really what things have come to? talking about pitch patterns?

 

Absolutely not. Now we are a self sufficient Football Business we are discussing alternative revenue streams. I believe a couple of our better connected posters are hoping to get back quotes shortly to allow us to offer an installment plan on the mowing fees to allow all fans to join in.

 

Unfortunately the offer cannot be extended to the Tropical based Saints fans as we only get Bermuda grass types here and we wouldn't be allowed to drive the mowers without extensive training courses. Hopefully we could get Emirates to take this onboard and offer special packages in return for sponsorship now that FlyBE are out the equation

 

Personally I'd go for the Bullfrog design - all wibbly wobbly with a small blue stain by the opposition bench

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you kidding? It what sets us apart! ;)

 

Mandelbrot fractal patterns is my bet.

 

 

Could be on to something there, certainly a lot of crop circles appear in our catchment area - perhaps we SHOULD keep it long over the summer and see what the Aliens make of it for us

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please let the season start before the World Cup!!!!

 

And that's another valid point.

 

Where was the consulation period with FIFA and the fans? Did they take OUR views into consideration?

 

Who decides the pitch patterns at the World Cup? The FANS need to know who to blame. I don't want to get giddy trying to watch England playing in little circles messed up by non-conforming crop cirles?

 

Has anyone asked Capello? Hell, has anyone asked AP and the TEAM what THEY want.

 

Disgraceful

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

View Terms of service (Terms of Use) and Privacy Policy (Privacy Policy) and Forum Guidelines ({Guidelines})