If they weren’t footballers…

[Saint Marky]

Purely judging a book by its cover only, what career do you think any footballers past or present, would have taken if they hadn’t ended up playing football? 

Adam Armstrong : Postman

Ross Stewart : Store security guard

Ryan Manning : unemployed 

Mason Mount: drug dealing paid informant/grass

Bruno Fernandes : Hairdresser 

Luke Shaw : Burger King Cook

Joelinton : Serial Killer

Edited yesterday at 12:16 by Saint Marky

[tdmickey3]

12 minutes ago, Saint Marky said:

Purely judging a book by its cover only, what career do you think footballers would have taken, if they hadn’t ended up play football? 

Adam Armstrong : Postman

Ross Stewart : Store security guard

Ryan Manning : unemployed 

Mason Mount: drug dealing paid informant/grass

Bruno Fernandes : Hairdresser 

Luke Shaw : Burger King Cook

Roy Keane : Cage Fighter

[Turkish]

Taylor Harwood Bellis looks like an electrician 

Jack Stephens - The guy who directs planes after they land

James Ward- Prowse - Traffic Warden

Ryan Manning - Barista in a crap coffee shop

Tonda Eckhert - Spreadsheet geek, oh wait......

 

[Miltonaggro]

Adam Lallana - Adz at Toni & Guy

Gavin Bazunu - carpet fitter

Sam Edozie - Carphone Warehouse

Flynn Downes - Black Cab game

Joe Aribo - bus driver

[Hatch]

leo - Butlins Red coat

[Zorba]

Josh Quarshie - Drag queen

Edited yesterday at 12:10 by Zorba

[Miltonaggro]

6 minutes ago, Zorba said:

Josh Quarshie - Drag queen

Doubles up as the front end of a pantomime horse / camel.

[sadoldgit]

Jack Stephens - Bouncer

Adam Armstrong - Alter boy in a monastery.

Tom Fellows - work experience boy

Iain Dowie - failed boxer

Matt Le Tissier - banjo player in the film Deliverance

Terry Hurlock - extra in any Guy Ritchie movie

Terry Paine - collecting money on the Dodgem fairground rides

Nick Holmes - Shaggy in the Scooby Doo live action movie.

Phil Foden - the kid who offers to look after your car if you park in the street in Liverpool.

David Beckham - member of East 17

Sammy Lee - rear end of a pantomime horse

 

 

 

Edited 22 hours ago by sadoldgit

[badgerx16]

We all know what Peter Crouch said when asked what he would be if not a footballer; " A virgin".

[Turkish]

3 minutes ago, badgerx16 said:

We all know what Peter Crouch said when asked what he would be if not a footballer; " A virgin".

That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously 

[badgerx16]

1 minute ago, Turkish said:

That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously 

I bet he never thought he would be doing TV ads for washing products.

[beatlesaint]

Jack Stephens - Farm Labourer

Gavin Bazunu - Postman

Flynn Downes - KFC Food Taster

Adam Lallana - Hairdressers Model

Tonda - Hypnotist

 

[sockeye]

le tiss: scientist

[St Louis]

Cole Palmer would 100% be making subs in Subway!

[USaintA]

Gavin Buzunu: Grape Crusher at a winery (good with his feet).

Flynn Downes: Professional Crab Imitator (you know, because.... sideways).

Damion Downs: Historical Battle Re-Enactment Specialist (because shooting accurately doesn't matter).

Etc

[rooney]

1 hour ago, badgerx16 said:

We all know what Peter Crouch said when asked what he would be if not a footballer; " A virgin".

He would be the man we saw at the circus on stilts wearing a red top hat and tails./

[Saint Marky]

Paul Merson-  the guy at the start of a roadworks, operating manually the red stop/ green go signs.

Anthony Gordon- petty criminal

Virgil van Dijk- Stripper

Jamie Redknapp- van dijk’s fluffer 

Edited 20 hours ago by Saint Marky

[Willo of Whiteley]

4 minutes ago, Saint Marky said:

Paul Merson-  the guy at the start of a roadworks, operating manually the red stop/ green go signs.

He isn’t smart enough to do that.

[Willo of Whiteley]

Flynn Downes, London cabbie

Adam Armstrong, could see him as some farmhand boy

Jack Stephens, bouncer, security guard

Joe Aribo, circus performer 

Ryan Manning, a barista, and not a very good one

Taylor Harwood-Bellis, a brickie

Tonda Eckhart, IT geek, reminds me of Richmond from the IT Crowd

Damion Downs, Bambi on ice

Elias Jelert, a hobbit

 

[Toussaint]

2 hours ago, Turkish said:

That was funny, he seems like a really good lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously 

Watch his bio on Prime if you haven't already. he's had to endure a lot.

[sadoldgit]

Fraser Forster - Herman Munster’s body double

Gareth Bale - Cornelius in The Planet of the Apes

Edited 19 hours ago by sadoldgit

[Convict Colony]

Ryan Manning - Pikey

Wellington - Rubber Boot Manufacturer

Tom Fellows - 90s Tribute Band Singer

Edited 19 hours ago by Convict Colony

[Colinjb]

Rickie Lambert: CEO of Lambert's Beetroot Inc

[Badger]

7 hours ago, sadoldgit said:

Terry Paine - collecting money on the Dodgem fairground rides

Good image. Is this based on seeing him - late 60’s/70’s - swaggering through town or into a pub wearing a sheepskin coat as was the fashion? 

The other option he might have had was greengrocer. 

[Badger]

7 hours ago, sadoldgit said:

 

Phil Foden - the kid who offers to look after your car if you park in the street in Liverpool.

 

Robbie Fowler or Carragher - the fuckers who’d threaten the small kid and nick it anyway 

[Behind Enemy Lines]

James Beattie - Doctor. 

[Toussaint]

Tonda . Not sure what his job exactly is, he’s a bit vague. All I know he has a lot of electronic devices and isn’t allowed within 500 meters of a school. 

[sadoldgit]

15 hours ago, Badger said:

Good image. Is this based on seeing him - late 60’s/70’s - swaggering through town or into a pub wearing a sheepskin coat as was the fashion? 

The other option he might have had was greengrocer. 

Yes! I remember a great description of him sporting “brilliantined sideburns.”

 

 

 

Edited 2 hours ago by sadoldgit

[Whitey Grandad]

1 hour ago, sadoldgit said:

Yes! I remember a great description of him sporting “brilliantined sideburns.”

 

 

 

Are those all his own teeth or were some of them implanted by somebody else?