Spy-gate\Cheating Response Songs for next season...

[Dan Johnson]

Next season, we will take a huge amount of stick from opposition fans

EG when we go 1-0, maybe from a controversial penalty, we're likely to get chants of "Same old Southampton, Always cheating"

It would be great if we could have some responses...

Some from me

-----------------------------------

"You're just fucking shit, you're just fucking shiiiiit"
"We're not cheating, you're just fucking shit!"

-----------------------------------

"We've got Eckert, Tonda Eckert, I just don't think you understand"

"He's got a camera phone, and a 4k drone" 
"we've got Tonda Eckert"

-----------------------------------

"We hide behind trees, we hide behind treeeees"
"We are Southampton, we hide behind trees"

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"All week, we've been watching you train all week, watching you train all weeeeeeek"

-----------------------------------

"We know what you'll do"
"We know what you'll do"
"We've been watching you in training"

"We know what you'll do"

-----------------------------------

 

 

[Patrick Bateman]

Let's go old school ... "You're going home in a Hampshire ambulance"

[CB Fry]

When we go one nil down:

 

We knew you'd do that

We knew you'd do thaaaat

We are Southampton

We knew you'd do that

[Willo of Whiteley]

Away at Middlesbrough: “Three times, and you fucked it up” repeated.

[sockeye]

"We spy where we want" and "He's in your hedge" will see a lot of use

[EssEffCee]

To the tune of Adams Family:

We're spying on your mother 

We're spying on your brother 

We spied on all the others

Tonda's red army 

 

[sfc4prem]

There's trees on the left, and trees on the riiighht,

We've been spying for months now,

And found out you're shite

[EssEffCee]

Everywhere we go

Everywhere we go 

It's Southampton spies, making Boro cry

Everywhere we go

[SouthWalesSaints]

FUCK the EFL, over and over. 
 

 

[Turkish]

It started by a tree up at Rockcliffe hall

We spied on the Boro, we spied on them all

We knew how they’d be playing, we bullied the intern 

got kicked out of the play offs, no premier league return

ole ole ole ole ole ole ole ole 

[Turkish]

Tonda Eckert wooohooo

Our brilliant German spy

he made Kim Hellberg cry

 

 

Edited Tuesday at 17:20 by Turkish

[Turkish]

His names Kim Hellberg and he cried on the TV

super Tonda lives in his head rent free 

 

 

[Rowan Gorilla 5]

Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
Saints are watching you

 

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
Saints are watching you

 

Needs a bit of tweaking.

[trousers]

To the tune of "It's my party'

🎵

Kim's a bottler and he cries when he wants to

🎶

[Marsdinho]

My suggestion from a few weeks ago (before spygate) seems more appropriate now...

To the tune of "Friday im in love" by The Cure

 

We don't care if you sit back

Or even play it from the back

Coz he has got a plan for that

It's Tonda, we're in love.

[Chris78]

Will salt 

he wanked in your bush 

wanked in your bush 

etc

[Pamplemousse]

Specifically to the Boro fans

"We saw you cry on the telly, cry on the telly"

"Oh Oli McBurnie, Oh Oli McBurnie" over and over again

 

The three times you fucked it up one above is excellent as well.

[Willo of Whiteley]

21 minutes ago, Pamplemousse said:

Specifically to the Boro fans

"We saw you cry on the telly, cry on the telly"

"Oh Oli McBurnie, Oh Oli McBurnie" over and over again

 

The three times you fucked it up one above is excellent as well.

This wins 😂

[Jazzfunk]

To the tune of "Crying" by Roy Orbison

"Spying, over you" 

Simple and effective 

[CSA96]

One I saw online earlier, to the tune of Waka Waka:

Tsa mina mina, eh eh
Waka waka, eh eh
Minus four who gives a fuck
The Saints are going up 

[Ted Bates Statue]

No one likes us, no one likes us
No one likes us, we don't care
We're Southampton, from the South Coast
Fuck the EFL, fuck the rest
 

[Cuddles]

He's hiding by a tree,

On CCT-V,

Will Salt...woooaahh

 

[Zorba]

To the tune of Oasis.. Stop Crying Your Heart Out

 

All of the spies,

Are hidden away,

Just try not to worry,

You’ll beat us some day,

We won in the play-offs,

But you still fucked your big day,

Stop crying Kim Hellberg.

 

All Boro’s dreams,

Have faded away,

But it’s not your fault,

You’re the victims again,

You’ll blame the cheaters,

But you can’t win a game,

Stop crying Kim Hellberg.

 

..

 

Edited Tuesday at 23:10 by Zorba

[Cumbria Saint]

Surely it has to be this....

 

[Tamesaint]

From the Barmy Army song book

"We saw you cry on the telly"

At Hellberg

 

[Barton Saint]

When we are 3-0 up

Youre not worth spying on

Youre not worth spying on

Etc repeat

[spyinthesky]

When we (hopefully!!) beat Boro at SMS next season the song by Jamo Thomas..'I Spy For The FBI' should be played at full volume.

[BarberSaint]

Don’t cry for us middle burrow

The truth is you’re nothing to us

Sad town of losers

Chavs on all corners

Your town smells of shit

You’re welcome to it

 

Feel free to change the words to something good.

[Badger]

Driving around the other day and had part of a Rod Stewart song in my ear. Lyrics “we’re in your hedge, we’re in your trees …”

Will allow other songsmiths to make it work. 

Edited Wednesday at 19:11 by Badger

[Miltonaggro]

Can we watch you

Can we watch you

Can we watch you every week

Can we watch you every week!

[Badger]

Rework the Gene Pitney Tulsa song;

”only, 72 hours to kick off …”

Yes, I’m an old bastard 

[Patrick Bateman]

Not a song, but my son had his first "ugh, you were caught spying" crap today at school. Snotty spurs kid. My son's response ... "at least we beat Arsenal this season".  Good lad, perfect. 

[WinglessWonder]

We could rob the song "Crying at the discotheque" (Sophie Ellis-Bextor version obviously!):

🎵Spying at the training ground 🎵

[Miltonaggro]

For ze Boro specifically:

 

Your hair is offside

Your hair is offside

Wanker Steve Gibson

Your hair is offside

 

Stand up if you hate a grass

Stand up if you hate a grass

Stand up if you hate a grass

etc. 

 

His name is Gibbo and he watches from the stands

Spends all his money getting other sides banned

Just a jumped up fucking dirty con man

Oh Boro, Boro, three chances in the can! 

 

 

 

 

[EssEffCee]

Tonda Eckert is the man 

He sent a spy to watch your nan

Dragan said he's staying at at the club

And now he's taking Southampton up

[LaptopSaint]

We’ve got Eckert

Tonda Eckert 

I just don’t think you understand

Interns at the back

Spies in attack

He’ll take us to the Premier League 

 

[MB]

Boro away

Stevie Gibson, ooaaaa

I wanna know ooooooooo

why you’re such a cunt

[Pamplemousse]

If we're top of the league or on the verge of promotion

"Are you watching Middlesbrough"

And then again first game back in the Prem

[LaptopSaint]

If I had the wings of a sparrow

If I had the wings of a crow 

I’d fly over Fratton tomorrow (and Boro!) 

and shit on the bastards below… 

 

[Ekelund24]

To Panic by the Smiths

Standing in the fields of Oxford,
Hiding in the trees in Middlesboro
I wonder to myself
Why are you so shit

Then repeat "Spying on you, spying on you" until bored

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

At least we're not you

At least we're not yoooooou

We are Southampton 

At least we're not you

 

(Probably best for Pompey/Boro...)

[Turkish]

In the town called Middlesbrough 

lived a man with spray on hair 

and cried to the FA

that Southampton didn’t play fair 

Steve Gibsons got spray on hair, he’s got spray on hair he’s got spray on hair

steve Gibsons got spray on hair he’s got spray on hair 

 

[Katalinic]

37 minutes ago, Ekelund24 said:

To Panic by the Smiths

Standing in the fields of Oxford,
Hiding in the trees in Middlesboro
I wonder to myself
Why are you so shit

Then repeat "Spying on you, spying on you" until bored

The first 2 lines have got the makings of a decent song tbf...last bit needs some work though 😁

[Essruu]

On 02/06/2026 at 22:15, CSA96 said:

One I saw online earlier, to the tune of Waka Waka:

Tsa mina mina, eh eh
Waka waka, eh eh
Minus four who gives a fuck
The Saints are going up 

This is the one. Every time we score and every time we win. It's loud and makes a statement. Followed by 'F*CK The EFL' over and over.

 

Let's get behind a horrible siege mentality 👌🏻

[mikec]

"Tonda Eckert woo-oh,

Tonda Eckert woo-oo-oh,

He spies on everyone,

He breaks regulation 127.1"

 

[LoyalSaintSO50]

You can stick your minus 4 points up your arse 

Fuck the EFL,  and Gibson he’s a grass

Let em cry, what a bore 

We’re Southampton evermore

And we’re going up with Tonda, cos he’s class 

[Secret Site Agent]

A few from me:

 

We know where you're training,
We know what you'll do,
We watched from the hillside,
With binoculars too,

You'll never surprise us,
We'll always see through,

We are Southampton

And we're watching you!

 

Or this one

Who needs a scout when you've got a hill?
Who needs a scout when you've got a hill?
Spying on Boro,
Spying on Boro,
Who needs a scout when you've got a hill?

 

Then

 

You can hide behind the trees,
You can hide behind the wall,
But the Saints are watching,
And we'll see it all!

Not too sure about this one

 

We're Southampton FC,
We watch training for free,
With an IPhone and a flask,

And an Intern on the grass
On a hill with Tonde and tea!

 

[Secret Site Agent]

We've Edozie on the Left

We've Fellows on the Right

We've MI5 as Team Scouts

And they say your shite.

 

[Ekelund24]

On 04/06/2026 at 11:29, Katalinic said:

The first 2 lines have got the makings of a decent song tbf...last bit needs some work though 😁

Yeah, I only had the first two lines I thought the song was just naming place and hanging DJs

 

[Ted Bates Statue]

On 02/06/2026 at 22:15, CSA96 said:

One I saw online earlier, to the tune of Waka Waka:

Tsa mina mina, eh eh
Waka waka, eh eh
Minus four who gives a fuck
The Saints are going up 

I really like this but gotta admit I'd struggle with the first couple of lines, so I'd suggest the English version of the chorus for that bit:

When you fall get up, oh oh
If you fall get up, eh eh

Ties in with our redemption arc as well... oh fuck it we're all just going to do "Na nana nana oh oh" twice aren't we