Patrick Bateman

Sorry to say, but Maya phoned me, he said "That mattyd, he's not mongboard quality" Sorry pal

Every Liverpool 'fan' I've ever worked with thinks like this. None of them from Liverpool either. I just end up not bothering to speak to such bores. I tend to find I get on at work far better with the skates and fans of London clubs that I've worked with.

Edit - oh I see it's made up cr*p. What's the point in that??

Is he going to act like party whip as well; "you need to sign this 5 year contract, it's in the best interests for everyone"

Deluded.

Excellent interview, what a very switched on guy. He actually looks quite filled out for a 20 year old? Just checked, he's heavier than Wanyama, so I don't think he's going to be some light-weight fairy on the pitch.

Fantastic news! Well done Saints and Ryan!

I think you can do both, it's up to him if he wants to be over-worked. Southampton - London isn't hideously far to travel ...

Do Saints still have a vacancy? Great role model ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36774864

The best thing to come of this signing is discovering the 'RAC mix' of Blue jeans by Lana Del Rey, great track.

He owned Pogba and that w*nky dancing, top work fella. Fonte awesome in the air too - so composed.

This guy looks class, really composed - definitely the Morgan replacement, lovely stuff. Him and Romeo together would work nicely.

Lightweights, they've all had a week off now at least

Anyone know the players still to return to training? I'm assuming it's just Fonte and Cedric, is that right?

Its disgusting, utterly obscene. I genuinely mean that - no one person deserves to be paid that much money, especially for playing f**king football. I'm no socialist or anti-capitalist, but it really does repulse me.

Fonte is brilliant! It's HIM that I'm worried about replacing when he hangs up his boots for Saints.

To go with our League 1 goalie, yes?

Winner!!

Agree with that!

Unless they're unveiling Gareth Bale wearing the kit ...

WTF is that a '6' or an 'o' with an acute accent?? Bizarre.

The Daily Star in being wrong shock, non-shock.

No idea, but it's getting f**king tedious now. Does any other club drag it out this much FFS? I'm only waiting so I can buy my son his first kit now he's just turning 2.

It's an industrial city! Famous for its docks and it used to be the home of the Ford Transit and Pirelli etc etc etc. So parts of the city look like people work there and have a function, because they do; it can't all be gentrified and boring looking 'apartments'. Most of the really nice historical buildings also had the sh*t bombed out of them, completely obliterated and replaced quickly by 50s concrete. It isn't actually an ugly city anyway, have you been to other cities and towns in the UK? As for people saying the new coaching team look unimpressed, they're probably just taking in their new surroundings and home. Of course they won't like the club yet, they've yet to experience a good match day, all the squad back and so on. A couple of 8-1 home wins and they'll love the place