holepuncture Posted 10 May, 2015 Share Posted 10 May, 2015 I wasn't all that impressed by Chesterfield in the play-off semi against Preston. Probably because they were unsettled by the skates exercising their divine right to cherry pick their manager, just as he was leading his team into the playoffs FFS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat Posted 10 May, 2015 Share Posted 10 May, 2015 With any luck they'll drag him down to their level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 10 May, 2015 Share Posted 10 May, 2015 I'm pleasantly surprised that they've extended their stay in the basement, that was no mean feat with their budget - the quality of opposition is very poor and it shouldn't require the next Mourinho to get them out of there. The problem with their eventual but inevitable promotion is that every skate who has been hilariously low-key for three years will suddenly flood out of the woodwork giving it large about how they have seen off Fleetwood, Morecambe, Trumpton and Greendale. Then they just need to find about another £50m to make real progress. That's gonna be a hell of a whip round - possibly the greatestest community-driven whip round that world sport has ever witnessed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 10 May, 2015 Share Posted 10 May, 2015 BBC Sheffield saying Paul Cook will be the next manager unveiled alongside a creased tablecloth as early as tomorrow. Someone is putting their hand in their pockets. Tablecloths don't come cheap you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 10 May, 2015 Share Posted 10 May, 2015 got my Skate buzzword bingo card ready for when he releases a statement Words will include Biggest Best Fans Massive League One Huge Challenge Amazing Feel free to add your own Sleeping giant enormous potential w^nkfest tcwtb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igsey Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 got my Skate buzzword bingo card ready for when he releases a statement Words will include Biggest Best Fans Massive League One Huge Challenge Amazing Feel free to add your own FA Cup History Stadium Promotion Community Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 Have they started building Tesco yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 Have they started building Tesco yet? There is a building going up that'll no doubt end up being empty as no supermarket currently wants a large new property ... (assuming that nothing has already been signed, which probably had, but that'd spoil the fun) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 The base structure for Tesco is half done. It's massive, and once finished, you'll barely be able to see Fratton Park from the road when driving/walking past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 My main concern would be that the pompey job might be too big for Cook. He has made great progress with little Chesterfield but the expectations are much higher at big clubs. The fans demand success and the pressure might be too much for the little chap. Following behind Adams, Grant, the French bloke, the other one, Cotterill, Appleton, Awford, Whittingham etc, he has very big shoes to fill. The worst combination would be if they had a game so big it was the opposition's cup final, plus the game was too big for the ref AND their own manager. What a nightmare scenario. I guess that is the downside of being a massive club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutch Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 They'd better do something soon, otherwise they're about to find out that most games will be too big for most of their fans as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 The Fortress is already too big for the fans, when was the last time they PackedThePark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 Records show that the park has been sold out in virtual terms for quite a few years now. There is far more to working out attendances than the number of people who actually go - you have to take into account passion, pluckiness, and then seasonally-adjust them too. Not sure I can be bothered to do The News great pompey survey, but for those with time on their hands and mischief in their hearts..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 Once finished, you'll barely be able to see Fratton Park from the road That fits. You can barely see their lowly league position from the PL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 Yep. Given how absolutely dreadful a standard League 2 is, it has been laughable how badly Pompey have done for 2 years. Even a manager who is halfway competent should have them in and around the play-offs at the very least. Cook seems a good bet who knows the division; if they don't go up next year under him then it will be another year of spectacularly comedic failure. Let's hope he returns to his Accrington Stanley form (P 33, W 8 , D 7, L 18). It seems this the last throw of the dice by the HNWIs to get out of the division next season, I think they want some return on their investment. Also worth remembering that Chesterfield have been a yoyo league 1/league 2 team these past five seasons (lowest finish is eighth in league 2). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Diamond Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 The blue few have presented a shirt to the Royal Naval Museum. In years to come visitors will ask "who were 'Portsmouth FC?'". Museum guides will reply "They were a football club, the bestest football club there ever was, but now they are no more." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 David Cameron @David_Cameron 17m17 minutes ago Penny Mordaunt will become Armed Forces Minister at Ministry of Defence - first woman in this role I'll let Rallyboy come up with a fitting statement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holepuncture Posted 11 May, 2015 Share Posted 11 May, 2015 David Cameron @David_Cameron 17m17 minutes ago Penny Mordaunt will become Armed Forces Minister at Ministry of Defence - first woman in this role I'll let Rallyboy come up with a fitting statement pennys wardrobe flop, along with backing an international money laundering syndicate (with the help of her tax man old man), has been rather lucrative. In a way, you have to commend her strategy, she may even have shares in the spurs fans property developing gig. I doubt she will be at fortress fatpipes at all next season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackFrost Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 pennys wardrobe flop, along with backing an international money laundering syndicate (with the help of her tax man old man), has been rather lucrative. In a way, you have to commend her strategy, she may even have shares in the spurs fans property developing gig. I doubt she will be at fortress fatpipes at all next season. That is the biggest splash created ever bar none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Diamond Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 They've appointed Cook. How long are they going to give him then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 30 minutes until golden brown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 I wonder who coughed up the £150,000 ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutch Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 It will be an IOU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andysstuff Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Blah blah. Bestest supporters. Massive club. Sleeping Giant. Privileged to be associated. Plus ca change plus la meme chose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 David Cameron @David_Cameron 17m17 minutes ago Penny Mordaunt will become Armed Forces Minister at Ministry of Defence - first woman in this role I'll let Rallyboy come up with a fitting statement good time to become a RN reservist me thinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaMarlin Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Cook appointed. Managerial appointment quote bingo cards at the ready? Ladies and Gentlemen, eyes down. We'll pay out for a line, or the jackpot for a full house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio Saint Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Cook appointed. Managerial appointment quote bingo cards at the ready? Ladies and Gentlemen, eyes down. We'll pay out for a line, or the jackpot for a full house. Full house? At Notarf Krap? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitzhugh Fella Posted 12 May, 2015 Author Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Cook appointed. Managerial appointment quote bingo cards at the ready? Ladies and Gentlemen, eyes down. We'll pay out for a line, or the jackpot for a full house. "It is an absolute honour to be asked to manage the biggest and best club outside the Championship with a massive fan base and a glorious history, not to mention incredible tradition - but it is a shame about the crumpled tablecloth" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Tablecloth? That's the Turin shroud! It was found in a Fatpipes store room next to the table and chairs off HMS Victory, wrapped up with Noah's original lifejacket and the Zippo used to fire up Joan of Arc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldNick Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Tablecloth? That's the Turin shroud! It was found in a Fatpipes store room next to the table and chairs off HMS Victory, wrapped up with Noah's original lifejacket and the Zippo used to fire up Joan of Arc. Do not disrespect that table cloth, Tracy Emmin has given her time ,free of charge , to recreate her lovers named on a tent. She is to write all the people , businesses , and charities Pompey have F##### on it. The only difference being, that she will have to use both sides of the material not just one side Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suewhistle Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Records show that the park has been sold out in virtual terms for quite a few years now. I do believe you may be being a little unfair there, RB. They're probably selling out the part of the ground for which they still have a ground safety certicate.. In fact I think they may have come up with a uniquely Pompey solution to obtaining sell-outs as they slide down the league... Just looking forward to the afternoon matches when the floodlights give out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Cook actually might be a decent appointment. They just paid £150k in compensation and described it as "relatively small in terms of the overall budget". http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32702867 In "teams who finished miles ahead of them in 2014/15 and beat them home and away" news, Newport have gone through with their promise to reduce their budget to £900k by releasing their entire first team squad except the 4 who had a year left on their contract and the 3 kids with 3 sub appearances between them who they signed earlier in the week. Oh, and appointed Terry bloody Butcher as their manager. So that's one team the Skates won't be finishing below again in 2015/16. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez Posted 12 May, 2015 Share Posted 12 May, 2015 Tough season ahead The9. The shakers took 6 points off them this season and their promotion means that won't happen next season. Christ, the path to promotion seems to have cleared. Seriously though, with their budget and the fact their **** players are out of contract and their better players retained, they will challenge under Cook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 Tough season ahead The9. The shakers took 6 points off them this season and their promotion means that won't happen next season. Christ, the path to promotion seems to have cleared. Seriously though, with their budget and the fact their **** players are out of contract and their better players retained, they will challenge under Cook. They SHOULD at least make the play-offs in terms of what the have in resources with the new Manager, some of the current players and what they can afford with new players. Perhaps the pressure of favourites will get to them or the players may not appreciate the training ground arrangements. There are still a few good teams in the league... what with Notts County, Crawley and Leyton Orient coming down from League One to join Luton, Northampton and the three losers of the play-off this season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 I can't see Plymouth or Luton sticking around down there for too long, and Ainsworth seems to have got Wycombe going in the right direction. Then again the Skates were lower mid-table this season and there's no guarantee they won't continue to overspend on mediocrity (Tubbs seems to be a bit of an exception to that) and losing Wallace might leave them with a big old hole. Of course just signing Newport's 13 offcasts along with a decent keeper would get them to 9th AND they'd be within a £1.4m budget (though not sure whether they'd need to have a multi-millionaire with bad taste in shades to prop them up to the tune of £40k a week as part of that or additional). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutch Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 It will be an IOU However, I am not prepared to disclose the figures involved nor specific details of payment timescales. So IOU it is then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 At least it sounds like they have a payment timescale, even though it probably looks a bit like this: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 Sounds like Chesterfield have fallen for the old we'll pay you later gag. I see no reason why Cook can't cobble together a promotion challenge next season. He'll bring a couple of players, they already have the top scorer, the area to keep an eye on is the accounts, the managerial and coaching changes will be very expensive for the bottom tier and the ground needs work. If they offer giveaway pricing on the season tickets again and allow the new manager to invest on wages, the first three months of the season will be make or break. Season ticket money will be gone by Christmas, fail to get out of League Two again and it could be time for Admin VI. But I'm sure they will be fine, nothing could go wrong, the figures stack up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 Admin VI. Admin VI - Return Of The Registrar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 Sounds like Chesterfield have fallen for the old we'll pay you later gag. I see no reason why Cook can't cobble together a promotion challenge next season. He'll bring a couple of players, they already have the top scorer, the area to keep an eye on is the accounts, the managerial and coaching changes will be very expensive for the bottom tier and the ground needs work. If they offer giveaway pricing on the season tickets again and allow the new manager to invest on wages, the first three months of the season will be make or break. Season ticket money will be gone by Christmas, fail to get out of League Two again and it could be time for Admin VI. But I'm sure they will be fine, nothing could go wrong, the figures stack up. Remember, £150k "relatively small in terms of the overall budget". Which means they've just spent ONE-SIXTH of the value of Newport's entire budget for the season just getting a manager in. You'd HOPE they didn't have the cash handy - or are they already selling 2015/16 season tickets? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutch Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 They owe Awford a year's salary. That must be close to a hundred grand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 They SHOULD at least make the play-offs in terms of what the have in resources with the new Manager, some of the current players and what they can afford with new players. Perhaps the pressure of favourites will get to them or the players may not appreciate the training ground arrangements. There are still a few good teams in the league... what with Notts County, Crawley and Leyton Orient coming down from League One to join Luton, Northampton and the three losers of the play-off this season. Morecombe are a good outside bet too, but realistically, now that the skates debt has been erased, they have such a bigger budget than the rest, and that will tell. Sadly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 I believe Whittingham is also still being paid - Cook makes it three managers on the payroll, can they get to four before the end of 2015?.....fingers crossed. Meanwhile I'm off to workshop a complex joke about Horton Heath prossies and pompey managers - the punchline will build to something like too many Cooks spoil the brothel. Leave it with me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio Saint Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 How much is 150k in penalty spots? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 What no press conference yet ? I was looking forward to the photo call, and seeing the creased tablecloth along with Mr Dead sat behind it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Le God Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 (edited) What no press conference yet ? I was looking forward to the photo call, and seeing the creased tablecloth along with Mr Dead sat behind it. Still might get the amateurish creased tablecloth or flag again, but Mr Slugworth (Mick Williams) left the Pompey board in March due to infighting. Thats what happens when the deluded inmates run the assylm. Edited 13 May, 2015 by Matthew Le God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaMarlin Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 Extracts from the first interview kicking around. He's been given the script and has clearly been practising it like a jobbing actor suddenly asked to play the lead role, so he's word perfect. "An opportunity to manage this great club was something I didn't have to think twice about. "It's well-documented we speak too much about how strong the support is, we're getting 15 and 17,000 so we now need a team to be proud of. "Target for next season is promotion, let's not mess about." No doubt more of this guff to delude the gullible will soon be available. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevegrant Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 15 AND 17,000?! Impressive stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 15 of the bestest sound like 17,000 Steve, especially when they're booing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez Posted 13 May, 2015 Share Posted 13 May, 2015 Still might get the amateurish creased tablecloth or flag again, but Mr Slugworth (Mick Williams) left the Pompey board in March due to infighting. Thats what happens when the deluded inmates run the assylm. Would it be fair to say the `Trust' is currently struggling a little for decent committee members? Or has the stock of been replenished as an overfished lake would be? I must say that looks a tough old job that, working for nowt, with all and sundry watching every single word said/written and more than willing to take a pop at you now that the hard work saving them has been completed and now success no matter what the cost required. No idea why anyone would want to perform that role. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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