Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 So, myself and my fiancée have 3 weeks to go until the birth of our first child, and frankly I'm starting to sh!t it a little bit. Does anyone have any good tips about becoming a new Dad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 So, myself and my fiancée have 3 weeks to go until the birth of our first child, and frankly I'm starting to sh!t it a little bit. Does anyone have any good tips about becoming a new Dad? Yup. Don't. HTH. Oh & in case you didn't know the blindingly obvious one. Breast Feeding. A Nudge in the ribs to the other half is better than an hour walking the baby back to sleep when you have work the next morning. (Cue abuse from outraged all things equal parents) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimond Geezer Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 The trick is not to worry, it comes pretty naturally, just be prepared for a heap of verbal & physical abuse at the birth. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suomi Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Yes, man up, it's easy. Biggest tip is to make them sleep in their own room right from the start. That was the best advice we received from the midwife. Don't put too many bed clothes on them, make sure they sleep on their back or side. Enjoy the projectile vomiting....that is really spectacular when it happens! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimond Geezer Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Yes, man up, it's easy. Biggest tip is to make them sleep in their own room right from the start. That was the best advice we received from the midwife. Don't put too many bed clothes on them, make sure they sleep on their back or side. Enjoy the projectile vomiting....that is really spectacular when it happens! Ha Ha I'd forgotten about that. When it's coupled with simultaneous diarrhea & p1ssing (without a nappy on) it can be awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Author Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Yes, man up, it's easy. Biggest tip is to make them sleep in their own room right from the start. That was the best advice we received from the midwife. Don't put too many bed clothes on them, make sure they sleep on their back or side. Enjoy the projectile vomiting....that is really spectacular when it happens! Oh really. We were told they should stay in with the parents until at least 3 months. That's an interesting one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdearlove Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Agree on having them in their own room from day 1. We did it with both of ours and they were both sleeping through the night at 4 weeks old - and have been ever since. Friends had theirs in with them and now they are in their own room they are up at 5am every day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Author Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Agree on having them in their own room from day 1. We did it with both of ours and they were both sleeping through the night at 4 weeks old - and have been ever since. Friends had theirs in with them and now they are in their own room they are up at 5am every day! Was it quite difficult to do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimond Geezer Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 I agree with the others. Friends of ours had their first with them untill she was 6 months old, she was having problems settling well into her teenage years. We decided we'd put out kids into their own room at about a week old, first was sleeping through at 4 weeks, 2nd at 6 weeks, neither have had any problems going to sleep. Also put them in a position where you can see them, but they can't see you, and when they are older, be strict with a bedtime routine (quite time-teeth & toilet-reading time (very important)-lights out. No messin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Oh really. We were told they should stay in with the parents until at least 3 months. That's an interesting one. Did that for my two and all went well, both got into good sleeping patterns and were sleeping through from 9 to 4 after about 9-10 weeks. The thing is to do what is best for both of you. Something you can do now is enjoy your sleep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latter day saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 had the nipper in with us for first 3 months & had no problems with him going in his room or sleeping all night.guess we were lucky ! best advice is listen to others by all means but in the long run its down to the both of you how you do things. i hated people telling us we should be doing this or that when their kids were little monsters. just be supportive of the missus, photograph & video everything & enjoy it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 I put mine in their own rooms from the start (mind you, this was a long time ago). I never had any problem with them sleeping through the night - from about 10 weeks I think. A lot will depend on how long they need a midnight feed. Having said that, when my eldest daughter was about 2 weeks old, I 'felt it in my water' that something wasn't right one night. I went into her room and she wasn't breathing! Luckily we got her breathing quite quickly and eventually the GP sent her to the Children's hospital for observation. She was there for 10 days with me going in every 4 hours to feed her (with a 2 year old in tow). Turned out she had a very small hole in her heart that cleared up spontaneously. I often wonder that, if I hadn't had that gut feeling, she might have been a cot death - 'twas in the days when the received wisdom was to put babies to sleep on their stomachs. Both my girls (who are both due their second children within the next four weeks or so) had their babies in their rooms with them and they, too, went through the night from about 10 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Channon's Windmill Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 If its a boy, willy down in the nappy and keep the nappy around or a muslin when changing as they like to pee everywhere when the cold air hits them. My boy is 8 days old today and I am learning fast. Need sleep tho He is suffering with Colic symptoms at the moment... refusing to sleep on his back because he is clearly in pain.... but all the advice says it is dangerous to let them sleep on their belly. So the only time he is really sleeping is when we are holding him on us. Not great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 If its a boy, willy down in the nappy and keep the nappy around or a muslin when changing as they like to pee everywhere when the cold air hits them. My boy is 8 days old today and I am learning fast. Need sleep tho He is suffering with Colic symptoms at the moment... refusing to sleep on his back because he is clearly in pain.... but all the advice says it is dangerous to let them sleep on their belly. So the only time he is really sleeping is when we are holding him on us. Not great. Gripe water and would he sleep on his side - with his knees drawn up to his chest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingsland Codger Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 When the child is placed in your arms for the first time, you are likely to experience an enormous sense of responsibility. Yes, you might well have been preparing for it, but there's nothing quite like holding your first child and realising there is no going back; you can't say you want one a different size/shape/colour - this is yours and you will be responsible for feeding and clothing him/her. And it won't be long before you have to educate - good luck with the potty-training. Don't be surprised if, after all the excitement, you find you don't have much of a role for the first few months. Apart from nappy-changing (see a useful tip from Windmill above) and burping the baby there isn't much you can do. However, it soon picks up and your life will change forever. And finally, don't be surprised at shedding a tiny tear when he/she gets married in 20plus years time - it will come along all too quickly, so make sure you enjoy every minute of being a Dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasgow_Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 how old are you DPS? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank's cousin Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Made ALL the mistakes - came in with us and never slept through the night - climbed out of cot the moment she could and tumbled into our bed - I got feet in head all night never slept for about 4 years:scared: - but would not have missed it for the world - travel quite a bit with work soused to catch up on sleep when away form home - hotels rooms became small luxuries All good stuff - mistakes are part of it and trust me after about 3 weeksyou will be sick of all the advice you craved - especially Mother in Law in full on advioce mode! Do it your way! afterall the quote goes 'it was my parents that fecked me up' not 'it was the advice my parents got of internet and self help parenting books and the inlaws what fecked me up' Good luck sir, Congrats in advance and as said above - enjoy every minute because it dont half dissappear fast... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Our 5.5 year old boy slept in our room for 6 months and was a nightmare when he moved into his own room!! He still occasionally creeps into our bed now but that's alright! Our 2 yr old twin girls slept in our room for 6 months and slept through the night when they moved into their own room!! The most important thing to remember is "What is right for someone else isn't necessarily right for you" and you'll also get lots of conflicting advice. Oh, and don't try to rush them, if they start babbling at 6 months chances are they are not a child prodigy who is going to quote the verses of Shakespeare by the age of 12 months!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 We had all three of ours in with us for 4-6 weeks before they moved out! Bringing our eldest home was scary as neither of us really knew what to do & we had no family within 160miles to help. By the 3rd one it was a doodle! I love being a dad, best job in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Author Share Posted 29 August, 2012 how old are you DPS? 28. Why do you ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Author Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Some great advice here guys and gals, thanks very much! Very much looking forward to it, I think it's just the general apprehension of doing things wrong, but as is said above, you learn from your mistakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Ha Ha I'd forgotten about that. When it's coupled with simultaneous diarrhea & p1ssing (without a nappy on) it can be awesome. Its not about you, what was the baby doing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SO16_Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 parenthood IS all it is cracked up to be. It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but easilly one of the most rewarding. it is probably the only time in your adult life that you will be completely out of your depth for a while, and using the old training term - consciously incompetent. I would say that if the Mrs doesn't breast feed - to take as many of the feeds you can, late nights (2300) and early morning (0600 onwards) worked well for us - so that a) you get you/baby time and also b) mum gets some kip. bedtime routine is key. Ours slept through from 7-5ish from 6 weeks, and only now wakes up at 5:30 for a feed (which im trying to figure out how to ween him out of, as im sure it only routine now, rather than a 'need'... any tips there would be great!!). Calm down from 1830 onwards, bath (nightime bubbles is great, as is nightime talc), low lighting, calm voices, story - even at newborn age, and straight down - and out of the room. As someone said above, cant remember who, sorry, remember - it's your child, you know it best, do what you feel is right. Take advice, sure, but listen to your own instincts. above all else - enjoy it - they grow up very quickly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anothersaintinsouthsea Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 My main bit of advice to prospective parents is to always treat advice with a pinch of salt. I was always wary of people making categoric statements about what does and doesn't work. What works for some doesn't for others etc. For me the best advice I got was from my nan and that was not to worry too much if baby is crying. Often babies cry when they're tired especially if overtired, so the best thing is to just let them get on with it. Fussing over them only prolongs the tears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Tone Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 So, myself and my fiancée have 3 weeks to go until the birth of our first child, and frankly I'm starting to sh!t it a little bit. Does anyone have any good tips about becoming a new Dad? You will find that the baby sh!ts more than a little bit. Having a baby teaches you much about bodily functions. As someone implies in the thread, there is no one right way. Ignore anyone who says 'it must be done like this'. Just try to stay calm, and do what seems natural to you. We've got 3 ,now grown up, kids, and I reckon we did everything right -- with one of them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WealdSaint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Good Luck Every Baby is different. Let you & your wife find what your happiest with. The first few weeks are a bit bumpy with sleepless nights and PND but well worth it. I remember holding my oldest just after he was born,while they stitched my wife up. All I could think of was to rock him and sing "We are Southampton we are the best" 13 years down the line he's coming to St Mary's with me on Sunday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 For me the best advice I got was from my nan and that was not to worry too much if baby is crying. Often babies cry when they're tired especially if overtired, so the best thing is to just let them get on with it. Fussing over them only prolongs the tears. Agree with that, it was also being calm with them if intervention was required. They can sense when you're tense! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcjwills Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 DPS is your partners parents or your parents close, as there will be times after the birth when you will both need a rest and recharge. Nanny will always be willing to look after them, and if you need and i stress the word need she will drop everything to rush to your side in your time of need, because she has been through it all before. Dont let them take over, but dont exclude. Your partner will find her or your mum will come an invaluable resource. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Good Luck Every Baby is different. Let you & your wife find what your happiest with. Exactly this. And dont give older babies in nappies orange juice - it makes their wee really acid and gives them terrible nappy rash - painful for them and lots of crying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Forget all ideas of what's "fair" and who's turn it is, just do your best and do all you can. It's a time to throw all pettiness out of the window. Also, Mrs Norwaysaint and I made an early agreement that any irritable comments made to each other after being woken up in the night should always be forgotten in the morning. That one probably saved our marriage. Remember, you might feel at times like all of the efforts you go to aren't noticed and appreciated by your other half, but any pettiness or whinging really will be noticed and make you seem like less of a man. It's a time to have broad shoulders and get on with stuff without *****ing and moaning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
um pahars Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 So, myself and my fiancée have 3 weeks to go until the birth of our first child, and frankly I'm starting to sh!t it a little bit. Does anyone have any good tips about becoming a new Dad? Enjoyed the thread DPM as we only have 6 weeks to go ourselves!! Interesting about baby sleeping in same room as all advice we're getting from the midwives is that little one should be in with us for the first few months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 There's no good reason not to have them in with you, it's a pretty natural thing. Can you imagine any other species sticking its young somewhere away from it to sleep? It can work or fail either way and is down to personal choice. Some kids sleep through and some don't. A lot of parents pride themselves on how they did everything perfectly and their baby slept through and didn't cry, then they have a second and discover they were just lucky with the first, this can be quite funny if you've had to put up with all of their preaching about how it should be done, then you see how stressed they are when none of it works the same for the next one. All babies are different, don't listen to anyone who thinks they've got the answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 My tip : Learn to make good coffee and how to wash up For the first month of the baby's life, all you will be doing is making coffee for the numerous visitors coming to gawk at the wrinkly Winston Churchill lookalike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 I had a small chuckle when I read people say "It will all be over quick" meaning they might get married at 20ish. You will never get rid of them that easily they will still come back asking for money for years after. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 My tip : Learn to make good coffee and how to wash up For the first month of the baby's life, all you will be doing is making coffee for the numerous visitors coming to gawk at the wrinkly Winston Churchill lookalike. Excellent tip - I had forgotten about visitors Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Made in Southampton Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 My one and only piece of advise to you would be to buy this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Secrets-The-Baby-Whisperer-Communicate/dp/0091857023/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346264672&sr=8-1 I've heard some real horror stories about bringing up children when I was expecting our first but we followed the principles of this book and both my kids have been a dream. I know others that have used this guide to and it has worked for them. Get reading and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Just remembered... Both my kids suffered from chronic colic and I tried a few things but by far the best was using Dr Brown 's bottles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 My one and only piece of advise to you would be to buy this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Secrets-The-Baby-Whisperer-Communicate/dp/0091857023/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346264672&sr=8-1 I've heard some real horror stories about bringing up children when I was expecting our first but we followed the principles of this book and both my kids have been a dream. I know others that have used this guide to and it has worked for them. Get reading and good luck. Another good book, for when the child/ren are beyond absolute baby stage is ' They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life' by Oliver James. Bit scary though although it does explain why some people turn out to be absolute scrotes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huffton Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 A bit of advice we were given was not to worry about having them in the same room, but put them straight into a cot, so they get used to being 'penned in', even if you are using a moses basket, put that in the cot. Oh, the health visitor will very quickly get on the Mrs DPP about contraception. Don't worry, you're about to have the most effective known to man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Sort out a mistress cos you wont fancy your Mrs from now on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Chalet Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Just remembered... Both my kids suffered from chronic colic and I tried a few things but by far the best was using Dr Brown 's bottles. My Son had Colic, it's amazing how many tasks you can still perform whilst holding an infant in the 'rugby ball' position. Best advice I could give is simply accept you will never be #1 again in Mrs DPS's eyes, that mantle is about to pass. Be as helpful as you can and make sure you take as much time off as you can and switch off 100% from work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Author Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Just remembered... Both my kids suffered from chronic colic and I tried a few things but by far the best was using Dr Brown 's bottles. I have actually already bought the Dr Browns Essential Kit for that reason! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vince Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 My tip : Learn to make good coffee and how to wash up For the first month of the baby's life, all you will be doing is making coffee for the numerous visitors coming to gawk at the wrinkly Winston Churchill lookalike. My tip - leave the coffee on the side and tell your visitors to make it themselves and bring you one in when they do! Also, make lots of quick meals now and freeze them - you won't have time or inclination to make it in 3 weeks time, or drop hints for future visitors to bring food with them for all of you. Try not to end your work leave after the birth on a Sunday - i.e. try to have Monday to Wednesday off, then go back in Thurs/Friday, as it will be easier for you OH to do a couple of days rather than a full week initially as it is hard work. Your life will change, but for the better. It is a scary thing, but greatly rewarding - that Barclays advert with the jet powered kids flying off the stairs to greet their dad coming home from work? That's what I get every day now. The first 3 months will be a blur to you when you look back, so take time to enjoy it when you can. Oh, and that first family holiday you all take in a few months, that's not a holiday for you, btw!! All the best, fella. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toadhall Saint Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Happening to me in about 10 weeks - so will be keeping an avid eye on this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Best advice, is once baby is off the boob, make up the bottles, get a decent bottle warmer & take it in turns to at least one of you gets a decent nights kip. Oh, and once they are home from hospital and asleep, every movement on the baby monitor doesn't need you to race up the stairs and them not waking up doesn't require you to actually wake them up to make sure they are still alive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Chalet Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Best advice, is once baby is off the boob, make up the bottles, get a decent bottle warmer & take it in turns to at least one of you gets a decent nights kip. Oh, and once they are home from hospital and asleep, every movement on the baby monitor doesn't need you to race up the stairs and them not waking up doesn't require you to actually wake them up to make sure they are still alive! Oh, and they breathe really softly. So a little mirror will put your mind at ease a lot quicker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swansea_Saint Posted 30 August, 2012 Share Posted 30 August, 2012 I've recently become a father myself three weeks ago!! One of the main things I personally have picked up on is that the baby will let you know if she/he doesn't like something!! Sounds obvious but i'm forever checking my daughters temp, the room temp etc even though sleeping soundly!! We've only just come home ourselves as our little one needed emergency surgery at a day old and was 5 weeks early so she already has me wrapped around her little finger!! No matter how tired you feel you only need to look at them and you can't feel any frustration at all!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnowcato Posted 30 August, 2012 Share Posted 30 August, 2012 (edited) Sleep as much as you can between now and the birth. (stop worrying about quality signings..) Don't use up all your time off work straight after the birth, a week off when the little one is a month old is advisable. Don't worry about being the best parent, you only have to be "good enough". There are enough books on parenting to scare you carpless, remember we've been doing this for thousands of years now. You don't set the routine, the baby does. Just when you think you've got the routine sorted, they switch it. It will be the best time of your life. Good luck. Edited 30 August, 2012 by notnowcato Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu0x Posted 30 August, 2012 Share Posted 30 August, 2012 So, myself and my fiancée have 3 weeks to go until the birth of our first child, and frankly I'm starting to sh!t it a little bit. Does anyone have any good tips about becoming a new Dad? We've got 3 days to go, assuming due dates etc (so probably closer to 3 weeks). "********" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 30 August, 2012 Author Share Posted 30 August, 2012 We've got 3 days to go, assuming due dates etc (so probably closer to 3 weeks). "********" Blimey, good luck!! Seems there are a lot of us that are pretty close to have children on here!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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