AlexLaw76 Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Any advice for tried and tested methods of stopping the neighbours cats shitting in my back garden? I no longer have pets and my back yard seems to be the dumping ground for the local tabbies....doing my head in! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 2 minutes ago, AlexLaw76 said: Any advice for tried and tested methods of stopping the neighbours cats shitting in my back garden? I no longer have pets and my back yard seems to be the dumping ground for the local tabbies....doing my head in! Is it in pea shingle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Get a dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Get a cat. It will force all the other cats to change their territory/ schedules. Your cat should become alpha cat, striking terror into all the others, keeping them away. Our local cats rule the local dogs. You will have a fresh appreciation of life, pandering to your feline overlord. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLaw76 Posted 30 December, 2023 Author Share Posted 30 December, 2023 It is a patio'd garden area....dirty little bastards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 31 minutes ago, Lord Duckhunter said: Get a dog. Or a nerf gun. Or black pepper - that works. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan The Flames Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Run out into your garden waving your willy, apparently cats think it's a snake and won't come back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 https://thescaredycat.com/silent-roar-lion-manure-review/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Napalm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 I put anti bird strips on the fence (I guess they can't sell them as anti cat strips, even though the pictures on Amazon clearly show cats!) which has stopped a few of the little fuckers getting in, but not all. Mrs WSS won't let me buy a shotgun. It doesn't help that she 'pets' the fuckers when they are in the garden, whilst I chase them trying to wedge a size 10 up their arse. I'm thinking about a few tactically placed claymores in the spring when the little cunts start going out more. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Have you thought of putting a polite sign up asking them not to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecuk268 Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Water. A bucket or hose, the more the better. Cats hate getting wet. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee On Solent Saint Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Getting in a hired portaloo should do the trick. Or hiring Robert De Niro to train said cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 It's actually me that's been doing that. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iansums Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Had this problem with a cat shitting on my lawn, rarely the flowerbed but right in the middle of the bloody lawn. I tried a few things but none of them worked until I bought a couple of high frequency sounders with motion detection, bought from Amazon. I was sceptical but in 8 months zero cat shit on the lawn and just one turd in the flowerbed. Here’s the link: Pestbye® Battery Operated Motion Activated Waterproof Cat Repellent - Quick Fix Ultrasonic Cat Scarer with Ground Stake - Set of 2 https://amzn.eu/d/6gxI397 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 6 minutes ago, iansums said: Had this problem with a cat shitting on my lawn, rarely the flowerbed but right in the middle of the bloody lawn. I tried a few things but none of them worked until I bought a couple of high frequency sounders with motion detection, bought from Amazon. I was sceptical but in 8 months zero cat shit on the lawn and just one turd in the flowerbed. Here’s the link: Pestbye® Battery Operated Motion Activated Waterproof Cat Repellent - Quick Fix Ultrasonic Cat Scarer with Ground Stake - Set of 2 https://amzn.eu/d/6gxI397 Ths is just the PestBye people doing poos on lots of people's gardens. The moment someone buy one of their products, they stop the pooing, and you think it was £35 well spent 🙂 If it's a patioed area, then keeping a selection of comfortable for cats patio furniture available for them to sleep on, will help. They won't poo where they are napping. You could always release a plague of mice on your neighbours, keeping the cats far too busy to visit (pet shops or conversion to apocalyptic cult of doom depending on budget to get the mice). I note there is advice for napalm, claymores etc. This is always a bad idea. The cats will always spot them, reverse engineer them and use them to catch their own prey. There are always innocent victims of this. Surface-to-Air missiles launched from beside cat flaps is one of the leading air travel risks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farmer Saint Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 10 hours ago, AlexLaw76 said: Any advice for tried and tested methods of stopping the neighbours cats shitting in my back garden? I no longer have pets and my back yard seems to be the dumping ground for the local tabbies....doing my head in! Shoot them - air rifle. Or catch them and cut their eyes out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Challenger Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Old boy across the road swears by this, you will need- Fully charged car battery Jump leads Sheet of metal Insulating pad Metal feeding dish Cat food Just make sure that the insulating pad is between the metal sheet and the feeding dish before you make your final connections. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 (edited) 28 minutes ago, Challenger said: Old boy across the road swears by this, you will need- Fully charged car battery Jump leads Sheet of metal Insulating pad Metal feeding dish Cat food Just make sure that the insulating pad is between the metal sheet and the feeding dish before you make your final connections. Ironically, this with just a Big Mac substituting for cat food, is the cats' plan to take care of the old boy across the road from you. 🙂 Edited 30 December, 2023 by Holmes_and_Watson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 9 hours ago, Fan The Flames said: Run out into your garden waving your willy, apparently cats think it's a snake and won't come back. If it’s dull days they’ll think it’s a worm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 (edited) 10 hours ago, Holmes_and_Watson said: Get a cat. It will force all the other cats to change their territory/ schedules. Your cat should become alpha cat, striking terror into all the others, keeping them away. Our local cats rule the local dogs. You will have a fresh appreciation of life, pandering to your feline overlord. I can confirm this is true. We have two cats a lad, Jimmy and a chick. She does fuck all all day (must have got lessons off the missus) Jimmy however is top boy on the estate. When we first moved in a cat that backs onto our house tried to stroll through our garden and our boy was at straight into him, a brief stand off ensued before the neighbours cat had it on his toes over the fence and played hide and seek for the rest of the day. Since then Jimmy has strolled around unchallenged even the French bulls dogs from two doors down give the trampoline now and again but soon pipe down when he’s scaled the fence looking down on his kingdom like Christ the redeemer looked over Rio Edited 30 December, 2023 by Turkish 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Munster Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 I was going to suggest getting a coyote. But on second thoughts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skintsaint Posted 30 December, 2023 Share Posted 30 December, 2023 Get some Lion manure. Cat will be too shit scared to come into your garden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 31 December, 2023 Share Posted 31 December, 2023 9 hours ago, skintsaint said: Get some Lion manure. Cat will be too shit scared to come into your garden. From the lion manure shop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 31 December, 2023 Share Posted 31 December, 2023 20 minutes ago, Weston Super Saint said: From the lion manure shop? Close... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted 31 December, 2023 Share Posted 31 December, 2023 57 minutes ago, trousers said: Close... Less creepy than having your neighbors call the police because you're wearing a lion onesie in your garden at 2am again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Challenger Posted 31 December, 2023 Share Posted 31 December, 2023 Let me get this right.We are in a cost of living crisis and people are expected to fork out on a varied selection of products ( which may or may not work ) just because somebody else's animal wants to shit in their garden ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 31 December, 2023 Share Posted 31 December, 2023 Just now, Challenger said: Let me get this right.We are in a cost of living crisis and people are expected to fork out on a varied selection of products ( which may or may not work ) just because somebody else's animal wants to shit in their garden ? Well done, looks like you're up to speed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLaw76 Posted 31 December, 2023 Author Share Posted 31 December, 2023 2 minutes ago, Challenger said: Let me get this right.We are in a cost of living crisis and people are expected to fork out on a varied selection of products ( which may or may not work ) just because somebody else's animal wants to shit in their garden ? People still go on about this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 31 December, 2023 Share Posted 31 December, 2023 7 minutes ago, AlexLaw76 said: People still go on about this? Those that live in the real world, yes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLaw76 Posted 31 December, 2023 Author Share Posted 31 December, 2023 1 minute ago, badgerx16 said: Those that live in the real world, yes. Yet, the airports, football grounds, cinemas, restaurants...all full to the brim. I bet everyone got their iPads and Xboxes for xmas too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 31 December, 2023 Share Posted 31 December, 2023 1 hour ago, AlexLaw76 said: Yet, the airports, football grounds, cinemas, restaurants...all full to the brim. I bet everyone got their iPads and Xboxes for xmas too. I don’t think you fully grasp it 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Challenger Posted January 1 Share Posted January 1 5 hours ago, Weston Super Saint said: Well done, looks like you're up to speed. Certainly are, read my previous post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iansums Posted January 1 Share Posted January 1 18 hours ago, badgerx16 said: Those that live in the real world, yes. Plenty of people in the real world are affected but it won't stop them shelling out £50 to solve a fucking annoying problem. If I wanted to pick up shit every day I would have got a dog. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 Now that a law is planned to be introduced so that 'kidnapping' a cat or dog can lead to five years in prison, can I now finally get my fence electrified to stop cats coming into my garden? I wouldn't want to be accused of accidentally kidnapping someone's pet if they enter my property Apparently, it is totally legal to kill a 'feral' cat, as long as it is done humanely, like shooting it. Can I claim that a cat shitting on my lawn is unsocialised - I'm sure the neighbours would claim I was unsocialised if I curled one down in their petunias.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLaw76 Posted January 20 Author Share Posted January 20 On 30/12/2023 at 20:25, iansums said: Had this problem with a cat shitting on my lawn, rarely the flowerbed but right in the middle of the bloody lawn. I tried a few things but none of them worked until I bought a couple of high frequency sounders with motion detection, bought from Amazon. I was sceptical but in 8 months zero cat shit on the lawn and just one turd in the flowerbed. Here’s the link: Pestbye® Battery Operated Motion Activated Waterproof Cat Repellent - Quick Fix Ultrasonic Cat Scarer with Ground Stake - Set of 2 https://amzn.eu/d/6gxI397 Thank you. I purchased 2 of these and seems to work very well!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pingpong Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 People joking about shooting, torturing etc., it does actually happen, one of my cats was shot in the eye, probably kids, but maybe one of you fuckers upset that he needed a poo. My advice would be to be nice to them, coo at them, try and give them a cuddle. They'll soon stop coming near for fear of attention. Anything else is just a challenge to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 The sooner you lot realise that cats are our overlords the sooner you will be comfortable with them. When a dog sees a human it thinks "You are my God", when a cat sees a human it thinks "I am your God". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLaw76 Posted January 20 Author Share Posted January 20 8 minutes ago, pingpong said: People joking about shooting, torturing etc., it does actually happen, one of my cats was shot in the eye, probably kids, but maybe one of you fuckers upset that he needed a poo. My advice would be to be nice to them, coo at them, try and give them a cuddle. They'll soon stop coming near for fear of attention. Anything else is just a challenge to them. I love animals, but I am not staying up through the night to shoo away a cat from shitting in my garden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 3 hours ago, pingpong said: People joking about shooting, torturing etc., it does actually happen, one of my cats was shot in the eye, probably kids, but maybe one of you fuckers upset that he needed a poo. My advice would be to be nice to them, coo at them, try and give them a cuddle. They'll soon stop coming near for fear of attention. Anything else is just a challenge to them. Who's joking? Detestable creatures that have no use on the planet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan The Flames Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 88% of serial killers start by torturing cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 On 20/01/2024 at 11:33, Weston Super Saint said: Detestable creatures that have no use on the planet. Why are you posting about human beings on a cat thread? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 1 hour ago, Fan The Flames said: 88% of serial killers start by torturing cats. Trouble is those fuckers are few and far between. More of them = less cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdmickey3 Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 (edited) On 20/01/2024 at 11:33, Weston Super Saint said: Who's joking? Detestable creatures that have no use on the planet. 2 hours ago, Fan The Flames said: 88% of serial killers start by torturing cats. 40 minutes ago, Weston Super Saint said: Trouble is those fuckers are few and far between. More of them = less cats. That why he should be known as Weston stupid saint, utter prick making these comments Edited January 21 by tdmickey3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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