Can we please make this a community again?

[SaintBobby]

Ok, guilty as charged.

 

I scream at people for starting pointless threads. And maybe this is another one.

 

I'd really like to see this site move back to being a properly discursive and respectful exchange of views amongst Saints fans.

 

I think we have a problem with a few personalities dominating. I'm not one of them. Don't have either the time or strength of personality. I'm a D-lister at best.

 

What drives me mad though is the bunkerised attitudes of, say, half a dozen or so individuals. Actually - one by one - I'm sure they are all well meaning and very decent folk and want the best for Saints and Saints fans.

 

But this forum is in danger of becoming a personality clash zone between a handful of individuals. That risks destroying the forum's pledge of being "The number one independent Southampton FC website".

 

My own pledge from hereonin is to:

 

1. Try and focus on football - or closely related football affairs.

2. Try and take each post at face value - not to ascribe motive to the poster

3. Try not to flippantly post in rage or to make a name for myself by doing so

4. To take a very long hard look at myself is I'm posting more than 20-25 times a week

 

I've definitely broken all these rules in the past. I'm going to try not to do so again. I would hate to see this forum collapse in on itself. I love Southampton FC and this is easily the best site for celebrating (practising?) that on a daily basis. My genuine thanks to all those - steve, baj et al - who run it. But I do think there's a real danger that the many good things that this site brings are being overshadowed by our collective inability to behave like mature adults at all times.

 

Anyone agree?

Edited 19 August, 2010 by SaintBobby
minor typos

[Deanovski]

Its tedious attention seeking

 

mm..

[David Strover]

I agree but you've got no chance in the 'Well of Lost Souls'.....

[CB Fry]

What a load of old guff. It's a shame we can't revisit the lowe era, the wilde meltdown, the burley season post play offs, the lowe return. This forum has never been this happy clappy community you speak of.

[david in sweden]

What a load of old guff. It's a shame we can't revisit the lowe era, the wilde meltdown, the burley season post play offs, the lowe return. This forum has never been this happy clappy community you speak of.

 

................not for the fearful few I'm sure, but lots of us just want to pursue the fortunes of our club.

As a 50 year fan, I'm disappointed that some people can only post negative threads and rarely praise, or encourage players and staff who are, after all, the real representatves of the club. ...and I've never boo-ed a Saints player in my life .

They are, like us, just individuals trying to do a job...even if they do get paid (more than you) it goes with the territory and the career is short.

[Dalek2003]

Don't forget the travesty of the failure to appoint Hoddle in 2004. I'm still on this issue 6 years later.

[Noodles34]

I cant begin to say how I feel about this thread.................. After all he'd said before!

[Fowllyd]

What a load of old guff. It's a shame we can't revisit the lowe era, the wilde meltdown, the burley season post play offs, the lowe return. This forum has never been this happy clappy community you speak of.

 

That's a fair point, CB. There's always been a pretty high level of bickering between different posters on this site and its predecessors. Even so, I can't help feeling that there's more of it now - thread after thread goes the same old way of point-scoring monotony. Perhaps, of course, that's just me putting on the old rose-tinted specs.

 

I think it's simply the nature of internet forums (or at least those where there's plenty of scope for disagreement) that people post comments that they wouldn't make if they were talking to somebody face to face. Also, by the nature of these things, there's more likelihood of misinterpretation of another's point of view than there would be in a face-to-face conversation. Add to that a strong tendency to attack other posters, rather than their arguments (the equivalent of playing the man and not the ball) and it's no surprise that petty squabbles are common.

 

I, of course, am totally wonderful and maintain a lofty position above all of this. And anyone who says otherwise is a ****.

[Give it to Ron]

Don't forget the travesty of the failure to appoint Hoddle in 2004. I'm still on this issue 6 years later.

 

Have you ever thought of having therapy you are obsessed....what do you hope to achieve by your constant posting of what is not the truth?

Yes there were a minority that voiced their displeasure but it was the board and Lowe who never ever in any other circumstance let anything stop him making a decision decided not to go ahead.

How do you know he wouldn't of done a Spurs or Wolves...you don't so FFS stop posting that crap over and over again.

FYI I wasn't one of them...did I want him back..not on your nelly as it hardly ever works out going back.

Did I want Sturrock, Gray, Dutch experiments, Wigley......no but they are a long line of wrong decisions made by the same people that you fail to accept didn't bring back your idol yet you can't see that.

[alpine_saint]

It saddens me that so many discussions descend in bitter point-scorng arguments. It must be awful for our more mellow members.

 

It saddens me even more that I am often the source of it, and often blamed for it even in those cases where I am not responsible.

 

I dont know what to suggest that will really work. I dislike the punitive measures employed by the mods; I dont see why people should be banned unless they are being racist or homophobic. That has nothing to do with the passion of opposing footballing views. Southampton Football Club is an issue close to our hearts and we (yes, even ex-pats, perhaps especially so when you consider how detatched we have to be from the action) feel passionately about it.

 

I dont feel there are many people in these parts who have a real destructive agenda.

 

I just feel sometimes that unless you want to endlessly write "COYR" or "we have the best squad ever" or "We will walk this league" that you are accused of being negative and there is an element who definitely play the man and not the ball in these cases.

 

I am sure the people responsible have their own opposing criticism to make of those they view to be negative.

 

I just hope that come Saturday evening, the club has started letting the football do the talking, and things come down a bit after a poor season start and a very emotionally draining laast 10 days.

[warsash saint]

What a load of old guff. It's a shame we can't revisit the lowe era, the wilde meltdown, the burley season post play offs, the lowe return. This forum has never been this happy clappy community you speak of.

 

BUT this forum has never been as bad as it is now...yes of course there has always been heated debates but it never got as personal as it is now & dominated but just a few users. This forum is being ruined by these few, constantly biting at each other...time for Mods to place a restriction on the number of posts a user can post a day, me thinks.

[Block 5]

I agree with the OP but I can't see things changing any time soon.

Just take a back seat, let the kids squabble amongst themselves, and use the ignore button generously!

[eurosaint]

It saddens me that so many discussions descend in bitter point-scorng arguments. It must be awful for our more mellow members.

 

It saddens me even more that I am often the source of it, and often blamed for it even in those cases where I am not responsible.

 

I dont know what to suggest that will really work. I dislike the punitive measures employed by the mods; I dont see why people should be banned unless they are being racist or homophobic. That has nothing to do with the passion of opposing footballing views. Southampton Football Club is an issue close to our hearts and we (yes, even ex-pats, perhaps especially so when you consider how detatched we have to be from the action) feel passionately about it.

 

I dont feel there are many people in these parts who have a real destructive agenda.

 

I just feel sometimes that unless you want to endlessly write "COYR" or "we have the best squad ever" or "We will walk this league" that you are accused of being negative and there is an element who definitely play the man and not the ball in these cases.

 

I am sure the people responsible have their own opposing criticism to make of those they view to be negative.

 

I just hope that come Saturday evening, the club has started letting the football do the talking, and things come down a bit after a poor season start and a very emotionally draining laast 10 days.

 

You could try being a lot less provocative and even a little bit positive occasionally !!

[Saint Billy]

BUT this forum has never been as bad as it is now...yes of course there has always been heated debates but it never got as personal as it is now & dominated but just a few users. This forum is being ruined by these few, constantly biting at each other...time for Mods to place a restriction on the number of posts a user can post a day, me thinks.

 

I thought that this forums predecessor was alot worse than this one, and yes it was personal, ask Keith.

 

For me forums in general all have the same problems, its the nature of the beast.

 

Sad I know, but I joined a Volvo forum in an attempt to find out about a problem I was having with my car, I happened to post a question about the fault and shortly after World War 3 broke out with posters having differing views as to what the problem was, it all got nasty and abusive and was not moderated at all, funny though!

[Noodles34]

It saddens me that so many discussions descend in bitter point-scorng arguments. It must be awful for our more mellow members.

 

It saddens me even more that I am often the source of it, and often blamed for it even in those cases where I am not responsible.

 

I dont know what to suggest that will really work. I dislike the punitive measures employed by the mods; I dont see why people should be banned unless they are being racist or homophobic. That has nothing to do with the passion of opposing footballing views. Southampton Football Club is an issue close to our hearts and we (yes, even ex-pats, perhaps especially so when you consider how detatched we have to be from the action) feel passionately about it.

 

I dont feel there are many people in these parts who have a real destructive agenda.

 

I just feel sometimes that unless you want to endlessly write "COYR" or "we have the best squad ever" or "We will walk this league" that you are accused of being negative and there is an element who definitely play the man and not the ball in these cases.

 

I am sure the people responsible have their own opposing criticism to make of those they view to be negative.

 

I just hope that come Saturday evening, the club has started letting the football do the talking, and things come down a bit after a poor season start and a very emotionally draining laast 10 days.

 

what a load of tosh!

[Deppo]

My own pledge from hereonin is to:

 

I don't think you should make a pledge like that when you are smacked up to the eyeballs. Wait until you are clean and then see if you can make a similar pledge.

[Dalek2003]

Have you ever thought of having therapy you are obsessed....what do you hope to achieve by your constant posting of what is not the truth?

Yes there were a minority that voiced their displeasure but it was the board and Lowe who never ever in any other circumstance let anything stop him making a decision decided not to go ahead.

How do you know he wouldn't of done a Spurs or Wolves...you don't so FFS stop posting that crap over and over again.

FYI I wasn't one of them...did I want him back..not on your nelly as it hardly ever works out going back.

Did I want Sturrock, Gray, Dutch experiments, Wigley......no but they are a long line of wrong decisions made by the same people that you fail to accept didn't bring back your idol yet you can't see that.

 

The FANS did influence the decision not to appoint Hoddle. This awful decision was compounded by an equally poor decision in appointing a League 1 manager who had no experience in the Premiership and lacked total credibility in the eyes of the players.

SFC began its nosedive, a chain of events was set off resulting in the almost extinction of the club.

This was the key starting point of a very unhappy period in the clubs history.

[Cricketphilly]

The squabbles make me laugh! Don't get sucked in to it all my friend, half the time I don't know what they're on about anyway!

[Saint_Mabes]

Ok, guilty as charged.

 

I scream at people for starting pointless threads. And maybe this is another one.

 

I'd really like to see this site move back to being a properly discursive and respectful exchange of views amongst Saints fans.

 

I think we have a problem with a few personalities dominating. I'm not one of them. Don't have either the time or strength of personality. I'm a D-lister at best.

 

What drives me mad though is the bunkerised attitudes of, say, half a dozen or so individuals. Actually - one by one - I'm sure they are all well meaning and very decent folk and want the best for Saints and Saints fans.

 

But this forum is in danger of becoming a personality clash zone between a handful of individuals. That risks destroying the forum's pledge of being "The number one independent Southampton FC website".

 

My own pledge from hereonin is to:

 

1. Try and focus on football - or closely related football affairs.

2. Try and take each post at face value - not to ascribe motive to the poster

3. Try not to flippantly post in rage or to make a name for myself by doing so

4. To take a very long hard look at myself is I'm posting more than 20-25 times a week

 

I've definitely broken all these rules in the past. I'm going to try not to do so again. I would hate to see this forum collapse in on itself. I love Southampton FC and this is easily the best site for celebrating (practising?) that on a daily basis. My genuine thanks to all those - steve, baj et al - who run it. But I do think there's a real danger that the many good things that this site brings are being overshadowed by our collective inability to behave like mature adults at all times.

 

Anyone agree?

 

I agree completely. Getting so fed up with the rubbish that occurs on most threads. IMO nearly every thread that is started is quite interesting and relevant, but 9/10 times before long it has gone off on such a tangent there's no point in reading it. Summed up beautifully by the fact that I have just read two threads that have been nothing but a slagging match, one of which was closed - brilliant!

[Saint Fan CaM]

I agree with the OP. I like the outlet the forum gives me to vent my ideas, fears, concerns and indeed faith and passion in the club. More often than not though, I'll just read through a thread to find it descending into the usual personal vendetta's, so it seems pointless writing anything as my post will almost certainly be ignored amongst the vitriol. I often think that unless you post something on here that's abusive or highly contraversial you're just ignored.

 

On a more general note, I wonder whether in the absence of decent rumours to discuss, all that's left to discuss for some is the negative stuff (the exception being Markus' untimely passing this week). The topics to discuss are quite limited - many have been done time and time again. So posters get bored and start abusing each other rather than stick to the topic. If you disagree, just write "I disagree - my opinion is..." - if you write "you're a mong for writing such rubbish" or similar, don't be surprised if you start WW3 on here. MODS need to recognise those types of posting habits and put temporary banning orders on anyone who writes in such a way - surely that's part of the deal we all pay for and sign-up to as full members? Otherwise what's the point of paying for use of the forum?

 

Indeed, I would like to know whether any users have me on ignore - what would be the point in me paying my subs if no-one can read and contribute to my threads or posts?! MODS - is there a function that will allow members to see if they're on ignore? Perhaps as a mark of new found 'brotherhood' and mutual respect all 'ignore flags' should be reset?

[Dalek2003]

Sorry Saints fan I dont know what you are talking about as you are on my ignore'

[Saint Fan CaM]

Sorry Saints fan I dont know what you are talking about as you are on my ignore'

 

Good stuff.

[Arizona]

Have you ever thought of having therapy you are obsessed....what do you hope to achieve by your constant posting of what is not the truth?

Yes there were a minority that voiced their displeasure but it was the board and Lowe who never ever in any other circumstance let anything stop him making a decision decided not to go ahead.

How do you know he wouldn't of done a Spurs or Wolves...you don't so FFS stop posting that crap over and over again.

FYI I wasn't one of them...did I want him back..not on your nelly as it hardly ever works out going back.

Did I want Sturrock, Gray, Dutch experiments, Wigley......no but they are a long line of wrong decisions made by the same people that you fail to accept didn't bring back your idol yet you can't see that.

 

Oooh, I can't believe you took that bait. Dalek's "Hoddle is the Messiah" complex is the oldest worm in the box.

[Give it to Ron]

Oooh, I can't believe you took that bait. Dalek's "Hoddle is the Messiah" complex is the oldest worm in the box.

 

Yep he now is the only other one on ignore I have on here ...don't normally do that as I believe everyone is entitled to post and express themselves but years of posting the same untruth has worn me down.

[Dibden Purlieu Saint]

Does anybody else find the word 'Growler' as funny as I do? Not related to the thread at all, someone just said it to me at work, but God it makes me laugh. And 'Gash'.

[alpine_saint]

Does anybody else find the word 'Growler' as funny as I do? Not related to the thread at all, someone just said it to me at work, but God it makes me laugh. And 'Gash'.

 

Yes, "Growler" tickles me too.

[croydonsaint]

Have total sympathy with o.p. It would be great if it could be a forum for discussing all saints related items in a reasonable way, but it isnt and probably cant be. I doubt i am in a minority of people who simply log on regularly through day to check if any saints related breaking news, transfer activity etc. I also scan the threads but rarely get involved. This is mainly because i feel that they end up becoming futile arguements between wind up merchants and the mentally ill. I must confess that in the past i have responded aggressively to some of these posters [not sure what catagory they come under], and in doing so become part of the problem with this site.

So of late, due to probably a very small number of posters [mainly one actually] i am very much a dormant member.

[Johnny Bognor]

What a load of old guff. It's a shame we can't revisit the lowe era, the wilde meltdown, the burley season post play offs, the lowe return. This forum has never been this happy clappy community you speak of.

 

I know, you still haven't apologised for calling me a rapist over 4 years ago!

[Alain Perrin]

Sod off you sad w****r

[Dalek2003]

Yep he now is the only other one on ignore I have on here ...don't normally do that as I believe everyone is entitled to post and express themselves but years of posting the same untruth has worn me down.

 

hello Ron ? Ron can you hear me Ron ? Ron ? Ron ?

[Joe Kirkup]

As someone who visits the forum regularly, I find myself unable to join in topics as by the time I've read past the first half dozen posts it has normally descended into farce meaning any relevant posting from there on would be..well.. irrelevant. I've probably missed the boat on this one also. Que sera

[Block 5]

Man up fags! Anyone can post what they like. Its a free country. If you dont rate certain posters there is a block feature.

 

Good idea! You have a very low rating.

(PS. Don't waste your time posting a sarcastic response, I shall be unable to read it)

[CanadaSaint]

As someone who visits the forum regularly, I find myself unable to join in topics as by the time I've read past the first half dozen posts it has normally descended into farce meaning any relevant posting from there on would be..well.. irrelevant. I've probably missed the boat on this one also. Que sera

 

Ironic, isn't it, given the intent of the original post?

 

It looks like "Take it in the spirit in which it was offered or leave it alone" is beyond the comprehension of some.

 

The progression of this thread proves that it's unfair to expect the mods to solve this when the remedy rests in the hands of the posters.

 

The b*tchers, snipers and sneerers will soon have the forum to themselves because more and more of the moderates are becoming heartily sick of it. Many have already left.

[Cascadia Saint]

As someone who visits the forum regularly, I find myself unable to join in topics as by the time I've read past the first half dozen posts it has normally descended into farce meaning any relevant posting from there on would be..well.. irrelevant. I've probably missed the boat on this one also. Que sera

 

Exactly. 1 page of debate, 3 pages of whiny arguments most of the time.

[Dig Dig]

As someone who visits the forum regularly, I find myself unable to join in topics as by the time I've read past the first half dozen posts it has normally descended into farce meaning any relevant posting from there on would be..well.. irrelevant. I've probably missed the boat on this one also. Que sera

 

Exactly.....it's pointless posting a reply to the OP or other relevant post as it mostly just gets lost in the middle of all the bickering little girls. Agree with the OP on this entirely and I think that a reasonable thread on the summer transfer policy which had to be locked last night sums it all up really.

 

I know CB Fry for example is of the opinion that this forum has always been this way and it has to a certain degree but I'm of the opinion that it has got particulary bad over the last few months.

[Fan The Flames]

Maybe the mods could put how many people are ignoring you next to your name, that may have an affect

[Fan The Flames]

and another catogory like 'not on ignore buy find annoying' and some positive categories as well.

[Fan The Flames]

It seems that the grammer and speeling police have all left for pastures new though.

[Mao Cap]

Place is the same as it ever was.

 

It's the nature of message boards that embittered misanthropes with little other social outlet, people on a wind-up and plain old weirdos with a bee in their bonnet about something gain a disproportionately large voice, due to the huge volume of posts they rack up. Popular boards like this one usually have it worst, because with hundreds of users there'll always be someone willing to bite and give trolls the little thrill of satisfaction that comes with knowing they've upset somebody.

 

The only way to stop every thread being derailed into stupid tit-for-tat bullsh*t is to have a mass informal agreement amongst posters that no-one reads or responds to any posts by known trolls, even posts that aren't looking for a bite. With no interaction there's no evidence that you've pished off anyone, so for a winder-upper there's no point in hanging around.

[hypochondriac]

Place is the same as it ever was.

 

It's the nature of message boards that embittered misanthropes with little other social outlet, people on a wind-up and plain old weirdos with a bee in their bonnet about something gain a disproportionately large voice, due to the huge volume of posts they rack up. Popular boards like this one usually have it worst, because with hundreds of users there'll always be someone willing to bite and give trolls the little thrill of satisfaction that comes with knowing they've upset somebody.

 

The only way to stop every thread being derailed into stupid tit-for-tat bullsh*t is to have a mass informal agreement amongst posters that no-one reads or responds to any posts by known trolls, even posts that aren't looking for a bite. With no interaction there's no evidence that you've pished off anyone, so for a winder-upper there's no point in hanging around.

 

Yes but how many actual trolls are there? We all know that delldays is one as he admits it. Other than that? Maybe one or two?

[alpine_saint]

Maybe the mods could put how many people are ignoring you next to your name, that may have an affect

 

Thats not a bad idea, but a really dedicated trolling WUM would probably view that as a badge of honour.

[hypochondriac]

Thats not a bad idea, but a really dedicated trolling WUM would probably view that as a badge of honour.

 

Would you? We best not do it then.

[alpine_saint]

Would you? We best not do it then.

 

Oh, very sharp you are

 

Must say you discussing who the trolls are in the third-party is f**king hillarious

[Jackie@home]

Have to agree with with many of the more moderate posters - it has got worse lately. A maximum number of posts per day might help. It might help the compulsive posters as well. as they might either get some more work done or improve their social life! I've only got the wrist-slitting Alpine on my ignore list, but there are a couple more I'm contemplating. I think it will help when we have some more matches to comment on - it gets worse when nothing much is happening.

[Clifford Nelson]

It's encouraging that there are that many who now take this issue seriously. If anybody wants to start a very happy thread, generally congratulating the club and figuratively patting each others backs, then all well and good, but that is as conservative as it comes. Either it wants things to just stay as they are or thinking that the boss is always right. I am one of those who is more interested in how I think that things can be improved, which makes me critical of some aspects of what's going on. Currently it is our rather stone age formation, and kicking it long for Lambert, which gets silly when he's not playing and we're playing it long and high for Connolly!

 

I think it was easier for us as a community before the takeover, when being critical to the point of desperation was the way we all felt (the 3 or 4 who didn't need not reply). But sticking together in desperation isn't the future.

 

I live with being ignored, but am irritated when I'm ignored because my fewer and fewer posts drowns in the verbal brawls which are going on. I like a well argued point, even if it's one I disagree with, but a world full of 'positive thinking' and bullying (I like the analogy of playing the man, not the ball) I find difficult to put up with. Maybe there is something promising in this thread, and that's definitely good. Then, maybe, I can get somebody to explain to me what is so forward looking in playing 4-4-2, when the rest of the world have given up on it.

[hypochondriac]

Oh, very sharp you are

 

Must say you discussing who the trolls are in the third-party is f**king hillarious

 

Hmm. I wonder who has been accused of this particular thing on more ocassions? I think we both know...

[hypochondriac]

Have to agree with with many of the more moderate posters - it has got worse lately. A maximum number of posts per day might help. It might help the compulsive posters as well. as they might either get some more work done or improve their social life! I've only got the wrist-slitting Alpine on my ignore list, but there are a couple more I'm contemplating. I think it will help when we have some more matches to comment on - it gets worse when nothing much is happening.

 

I lol'd

[the saint in winchester]

I have to say I get concerned with the abuse that gets hurled on here. Would some of our contributors be so abusive to each other if talking in the street face to face? I think not. Then why do it from behind the computer screen?

Then again, I don't really get concerned. So I'm contradicting myself. It's only words, and words are all we have.

I remind myself I am a supporter, and even if AP plays someone I think should not be played, my role is still to support.

I think we should all have a drink together, and a hug and chat about how long we have all supported the team.

All ya need is love, la la la la.

[alpine_saint]

You become more and more childish with every post. And you have been accused several times since ML's death was announced of being an attention-seeking troll.

[hypochondriac]

You become more and more childish with every post. And you have been accused several times since ML's death was announced of being an attention-seeking troll.

 

Only by you dibden and gingeletiss. I wonder if we took a poll who would be the poster considered most likely to be on a wind up?