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Monk

becoming a dad...

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HELP....

 

all joking aside, our first little one is due in January and as much as I've tried to get us ready, you never really know.

 

Any advice, decent blogs, links to websites?

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HELP....

 

all joking aside, our first little one is due in January and as much as I've tried to get us ready, you never really know.

 

Any advice, decent blogs, links to websites?

 

Have a go at the "Gas and Air":nod: pain relief in the labour ward, you will need it if she holds your hand :eek:

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The missus will normally plan everything and buy enough magazines which recycle same articles e.g. Should you have a water birth, benefits of breast feeding etc. No real advice from me - I have 3 absolutely cracking kids but be supportive and give them loads of love and confidence. And don't indulge them too much.

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Enjoy them whole they are young, before you know it they are 20 something.

 

Good luck Monk,

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It's easy to forget the tough first 3-6 months....we've a 3 year old and it's very fresh in the memory....at the beginning take each day as it comes, keep telling yourself it'll get easier and you'll get more sleep soon....and try and sleep when you can! Other than that, try and enjoy it although can be tricky at times!

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The only thing I can say is think back to the time in your life when you were the most tired you have ever been. Shattered yeah? Nope, you don't even know the meaning of tired yet.

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Babies have been surviving and thriving for thousands of years, long before the gazillion articles telling their parents what to do. Instinct and good sense will do most of it for you. You might get a wobble about your life changing irrevocably - it will - but its worth it. Takes many people a few months to get used to the new rythmn.

 

My one twopennyworth. Don't give them orange juice to drink whilst in nappies. Makes their wee acid and can causes terrible nappy rash

Edited by buctootim

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The first 18 years are the worst.

 

More seriously, I found the first 6 months a bit boring but, once they start to react with you, it fascinating to see them develop.

 

They are like little sponges soaking up knowledge.

 

Make the most of these years. They go by very quickly and, before you know it, they've turned in to a stroppy teenager.

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Best advice - don't listen to anyone else :)

 

Everyone will have their opinions, what worked for their child etc etc etc., but genuinely, only you and your other half know what the child wants/likes etc. We bought loads of stuff that was wasted because our son wasn't fussed/didn't use it.

 

But enjoy it and the time really does fly by :(

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The first 18 years are the worst.

 

More seriously, I found the first 6 months a bit boring but, once they start to react with you, it fascinating to see them develop.

 

They are like little sponges soaking up knowledge.

 

Make the most of these years. They go by very quickly and, before you know it, they've turned in to a stroppy teenager.

 

When they get to the university stage they are like bloody great sponges soaking up your hard earned cash!

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Best advice - don't listen to anyone else :)

 

Everyone will have their opinions, what worked for their child etc etc etc., but genuinely, only you and your other half know what the child wants/likes etc. We bought loads of stuff that was wasted because our son wasn't fussed/didn't use it.

 

But enjoy it and the time really does fly by :(

 

Exactly this. You'll be inundated with experts who will only be too quick to tell you what to do and their way is best. You and your significant other will find your own way, it may take 2-3 months but you'll get there.

 

They will be sick on you, they'll get all sorts of coughs, colds bugs and there will be times when you think they're seriously ill and you need to rush them to the hospital, then they'll burp and be fine. When they are asleep and don't breath for 15 seconds don't do what we did and jump out of bed thinking they were dying, apparently it's totally normal for babies we were told a couple of weeks later :lol:

 

And enjoy it because as others have said time flies its amazing seeing them develop and have their own personalities.

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A bit of "left-field" advice from the father of a 2-year-old... start taking vitamin C supplements and eating an apple a day to boost your immune system! Once the little one starts at nursery, play group etc. they become walking germ-dispensers. No word of a lie, I've been to see the doctor more times in the past 2 years than the previous 36.

 

On the "plus" side, try to savour every moment. I always thought "they grow up so quickly" was a cliché but they do change so quickly in the first few years. In the first 18 months alone they change from a fleshy blob of snot and poo into a little person with their own personality.

 

Enjoy the ride!

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A bit of "left-field" advice from the father of a 2-year-old... start taking vitamin C supplements and eating an apple a day to boost your immune system! Once the little one starts at nursery, play group etc. they become walking germ-dispensers. No word of a lie, I've been to see the doctor more times in the past 2 years than the previous 36.

Enjoy the ride!

 

Mine had chicken pox and, although he had a few spots, he didn't seem to be at all affected.

 

He gave it to me and I had spots in places that I didn't think was possible, couldn't sleep because of the itching and generally felt like death warmed up for 3 or 4 days.

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If I could give one piece of advice it would be , never pick up the babies dummy and put it in your mouth to clean it in the dark while half asleep baby sick tastes worse than it smells haha ! Seriously though good luck fatherhood is excellent.

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Best thing that will ever happen to you. Good luck Monk.

 

Absolutely spot on.

 

My kids (now 29 and 27) are the best thing that has happened to me in my life.

 

They will frustrate you, worry you, scare you and cause you consternation and anxiety.

 

But if you are cut out to be a parent (and it sounds as though you are) you will love them for ever.

 

Despite their ages, I never cease to tell my kids how much I love them - and they are now hardened, mature adults.

 

My daughter, 29, works in the scientific field in London and earns shed loads of cash - more than I will ever earn - and my son has recently passed his Doctorate at Oxford in Genetics and will soon emigrate to the States to live.

 

While I am proud of them, the point of that piece of information is not to brag, but to ensure you do all you can to make sure they are set up when they are ready to fly the nest.

 

Although they are your children, you don't own them. They are only on loan to you for a few years - and that's how it should be.

 

One thing you will realise is that up to the age of 13, you are the most important thing in their lives. At 13, you cease to be that, as their world revolves around their circle of friends, and their contemporaries take over as the most important things in their lives.

 

At the risk of sounding a bit Attenborough, prepare them - and especially yourself - for the day when they are ready to fly the next.

 

Love them, but don't suffocate them. Put your arms around them and embrace them, but don't strangle them.

 

And be aware, that once you have kids, the years will fly by!

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Recently become a Dad and biggest change for me is that I'm more focused at work - suddenly a much bigger incentive to do well. Never been particularly ambitious, that has changed now. On the flipside I also worry a hell of a lot more (2016 hasn't helped). Nipper arrived on the Friday after the Brexit vote and that along with Trump has me worried for his future. If it was just me and the missus I think we'd have been far more "meh, whatever" about what 2016 has been like but now we're acutely worried about how we can keep him safe and ensure he grows up a tolerant, liberal, grounded citizen of the world.

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Recently become a Dad and biggest change for me is that I'm more focused at work - suddenly a much bigger incentive to do well. Never been particularly ambitious, that has changed now. On the flipside I also worry a hell of a lot more (2016 hasn't helped). Nipper arrived on the Friday after the Brexit vote and that along with Trump has me worried for his future. If it was just me and the missus I think we'd have been far more "meh, whatever" about what 2016 has been like but now we're acutely worried about how we can keep him safe and ensure he grows up a tolerant, liberal, grounded citizen of the world.

Yup may be 22 years ago, there is no doubt the responsibility certainly focuses the mind, you grow up.

 

Embrace it, enjoy it, and as has been said already they grow up really fast, and make the most of them when they are little because the day they become stroppy buggers will be upon you before they know it.

 

As for the tiredness there is no doubt there is nothing to match it. We had number 2 pretty quickly there is a year, a month, and a week between our girls (2 was the plan but a "oops we shouldn't have done that" moment brought things forward). Friends who had their first at the same time as us thought we were barking mad, but being in baby mode when number 2 arrived, it was frighteningly easy. Interestingly when the same friends decided on having another, when it arrived, jeez, you just watched them age before our eyes. Both of ours were fully operational and you could see our friends looking on with a thought of "you weren't as mad as we thought".

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Yup may be 22 years ago, there is no doubt the responsibility certainly focuses the mind, you grow up.

 

Embrace it, enjoy it, and as has been said already they grow up really fast, and make the most of them when they are little because the day they become stroppy buggers will be upon you before they know it.

 

As for the tiredness there is no doubt there is nothing to match it. We had number 2 pretty quickly there is a year, a month, and a week between our girls (2 was the plan but a "oops we shouldn't have done that" moment brought things forward). Friends who had their first at the same time as us thought we were barking mad, but being in baby mode when number 2 arrived, it was frighteningly easy. Interestingly when the same friends decided on having another, when it arrived, jeez, you just watched them age before our eyes. Both of ours were fully operational and you could see our friends looking on with a thought of "you weren't as mad as we thought".

 

Interesting because we had 2 very close together (13 months between them ) and I still can't believe we managed to cope, particularly with taking them on holiday at 6 & 19 months respectively ( and with 7 & 10 year old in tow as well) . My grandson in just 10 months and when we have him to stay , both me and my Mrs wonder what on earth possessed us to have 2 so close together . I guess we had more energy when we were younger.

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We had twin boys who were 23 on Sunday, the time has flown by, yes we have had our ups and downs they still cost me money but the good bits out way the bad, now they can take me down the pub and drive me home, enjoy them whilst they are little because the time fly's by.

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The baby will sleep when it wants which is not when you want. Put him/ her down at the same time every night from day one. They'll cry. As long as they're not hungry and are safe then let them. Wish I'd done that with no1. Learned by number two not to let them. As a result #2 is an excellent sleeper. It can be very overbearing unless they go down at a decent, regular time because they will be up at all times for a feed.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Still waiting for her arrival..

 

Getting bored of waiting now.

 

Our 1st was 9 days over and kicked the living s**t out of my wife from about 4 months.

 

He's 7 and a half now and has all of a sudden has become aware of the fairer sex. He's slowly starting to realise that although he couldn't be bothered to evacuate the wifes punani a few years back, he'll more than likely be spending the majority of his life trying to get close to 1 again!

 

Not the wifes obviously, that's just weird.

 

On the advice side, you'll know what to do when it happens. Enjoy it.

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Still waiting. Had a call at work from the missus who's on the red alert with every sneeze.

 

Got home, to absolutely nothing. Birthday today, be a nice little present if she arrives.

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Still waiting. Had a call at work from the missus who's on the red alert with every sneeze.

 

Got home, to absolutely nothing. Birthday today, be a nice little present if she arrives.

 

Happy Birthday Monk,

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I just wanted to post here that even though I agree that it IS the best thing ever to be a dad, at many times it's also felt as the absolute worst thing ever. I think it's unfair that you don't hear this as often, because you'll start doubting yourself and feel like maybe you're a horrible father for thinking negative thoughts about your baby and wanting to walk out the door and just keep walking. Months without sleeping will do crazy things to your mind, and litterally turn you into a different person. Take care of yourself if this happens. Make a schedule with your partner to make sure you both get some full nights of decent sleep. Everyone will benefit from this.

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I just wanted to post here that even though I agree that it IS the best thing ever to be a dad, at many times it's also felt as the absolute worst thing ever. I think it's unfair that you don't hear this as often, because you'll start doubting yourself and feel like maybe you're a horrible father for thinking negative thoughts about your baby and wanting to walk out the door and just keep walking. Months without sleeping will do crazy things to your mind, and litterally turn you into a different person. Take care of yourself if this happens. Make a schedule with your partner to make sure you both get some full nights of decent sleep. Everyone will benefit from this.

 

Good post. It's all too often said that being a parent is a blessing, which it is of course, but it's also one of the hardest things you'll ever do.

 

It's probably the only time you will feel completely out of your comfort zone and unsure how to move forward.

 

Listen to advice, sure, but do whatever is right for you and your family. That's what will be right.

 

Sleep is over rated anyway.

 

5.5 years on from the birth of our first, and 3.5 from our second, we're still learning every day and amazed at what they do (in a good way!).

 

Just had our first sports day; boy can that lad run fast. He's like Forest Gump!

 

Still haven't managed to have a night away from the kids, not one, as no family or friends are willing to have them - that's been tough - but hey they're our kids, can't expect others to have them.

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Thanks for the posts and honesty gents.

 

She's now coming up for six months and has honestly been the greatest thing I've ever achieved. Pass The Dutchie, lots of love for your post; there's been split seconds of 'FFS give it a rest now' but nothing thats really tested us... until now. Little un is teething and she really is struggling. Thankfully my missus has been fantastic and as advised we've tried to take shifts when the going gets tough. Noone warned me how boring the first months are, they don't do anything!

 

Now she's rolling, has the most amazing laugh, interacts and is showing very early signs of crawling.

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Thanks for the posts and honesty gents.

 

She's now coming up for six months and has honestly been the greatest thing I've ever achieved. Pass The Dutchie, lots of love for your post; there's been split seconds of 'FFS give it a rest now' but nothing thats really tested us... until now. Little un is teething and she really is struggling. Thankfully my missus has been fantastic and as advised we've tried to take shifts when the going gets tough. Noone warned me how boring the first months are, they don't do anything!

 

Now she's rolling, has the most amazing laugh, interacts and is showing very early signs of crawling.

 

Wonderful news. They just get better and better. From about 18 months on they start to develop their own personality and become individual little people in their own right. Hang in there, my son was eight before I got a complete night's sleep. Last Sunday I had my son and daughter and their seven grandchildren round for a family barbecue. Nothing can beat that feeling. Besides, you're going to need someone to look after you in your old age.

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Not to worry any new fathers but you never ever forget that they are still your little one even when

they reach old age themselves and they will still visit the Bank of Mum and Dad :lol:

 

Our 47 y.o. daughter has just been to her GP and was told her BP is 173/110 which as you know is far too high

especially as her grandmother died at the same age due to heart problems caused by high BP. Anyway I digress

the Doc gave her some pills that will take about 6 WEEKS to start working!!!. She could be dead or have a severe

stroke within that time.

 

Needless to say we are very worried so as I said just now they will always be your little one and you will always

worry about them until you die.

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Ref my above post quoting a 6 weeks timeframe it now appears that the daughter misheard as it's not 6 weeks

after all. See kids still manage to confuse parents no matter what age they are. :lol::lol::lol:

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Birthday today, be a nice little present if she arrives.

 

Ah you see you didn't whisper enough encouragement while she was in utero. I did, and he popped out on mine.

 

Enjoy and good luck.

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