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If You Had Your Time Again.....


Gemmel

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At the risk of getting a bit too deep with this, I would have been more confident from a younger age and not cared as much about the opinions of others.

 

Taken a couple of years out and Travelled the world when it had the chance.

 

Both of these. I think I've pretty much 'put right' everything I want to, but I could have got here a lot quicker with the first one and having to travel whilst working is still enjoyable, but do slightly envy people who have had a real good stint. Oh yeah, and I wouldn't have started smoking either, and probably would curtail my drinking. Plus some ex's. Seems a lot - but people who say they have no regrets, have either taken no risks in their life, or not learnt enough lessons. Saying you have no regrets pretty much says you've never made a mistake in your life - it's not being honest with yourself (IMO).

Edited by Saint Mikey
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Maybe have bought a property a few years sooner than when I did in 2006.

because of the credit crunch etc, I sold it for what I paid for it in 2012.

which flew in the face of every other fukker making a mint on property

 

Left the Submarine Service sooner than I am doing (Summer next year)

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1. Studied harder at school - all I did was play football - save me all those years slogging at night school

2. Sold my shares earlier befor the crash...lost about 30k

3. Had my kids earlier - we had 10 years on our own first

4. Taken the chance on a few houses before we moved and stayed too long in the one we did.

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Difficult one...

I'm always wary of people who speedily declare that they have no regrets - there's always a little something here or there where on reflection you think, maybe I could have done that differently, or maybe if I'd dug a bit deeper or mixed the concrete better then they wouldn't have found her.

But personally, I wouldn't change anything significant.

 

Though leaving what must amount to about a whole year of my life in the PTS thread could be considered wasted time.

But it has been funny!

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Both of these. I think I've pretty much 'put right' everything I want to, but I could have got here a lot quicker with the first one and having to travel whilst working is still enjoyable, but do slightly envy people who have had a real good stint. Oh yeah, and I wouldn't have started smoking either, and probably would curtail my drinking. Plus some ex's. Seems a lot - but people who say they have no regrets, have either taken no risks in their life, or not learnt enough lessons. Saying you have no regrets pretty much says you've never made a mistake in your life - it's not being honest with yourself (IMO).

 

Bol.loxs.

 

I've been to war, been to jail and been around the world but I don't spend my life looking backwards; I only looked forward.

 

I regret nothing in my past nor would I change a thing, it's my future I'm more intersted in.

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Not really anything I'd change as I find it amazing that a person like me has got everything I've got, Even the bad decisions are ultimately tied in with getting where I am. I didn't do anything especially worthwhile when I took a couple of years out, I just worked so that I could afford to go to uni, but I had a bloody good time during those years and I'd do the same again. Wife's 6 years younger so I had to have a few crap relationships before I met her at the right age.

 

Although I did turn down a threesome with two girls when I was seventeen, 25 years later and the chance never ever cropped up again...

 

Also, for a few years I was one of those crap "social smokers", who go on about how they only smoke a few on a night out. That seems so pathetic and stupid when I look back, so I'd change that.

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Bol.loxs.

 

I've been to war, been to jail and been around the world but I don't spend my life looking backwards; I only looked forward.

 

I regret nothing in my past nor would I change a thing, it's my future I'm more intersted in.

 

You sound like you are trying to convince yourself.

 

If anyone is honest there would be things you would do differently, doesn't mean you are unhappy or spend your life thinking about what would have happened.

 

If you went to jail can you honestly say if you went in a time machine back to the day before you committed the crime you would do it again - b*ll*x.

Edited by aintforever
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More wondering about what ifs

 

Happy with my lot in life so all of the cock ups, poor decisions etc are what gave me experience and made me what I am now.

 

Maintaining a level of fitness that I had from my twenties - now faced with a gargantuan challenge (and gut) to try and get fit. Note to all the nippers out there, once the pounds go on, they are an absolute mutha to get off.

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You sound like you are trying to convince yourself.

 

If anyone is honest there would be things you would do differently, doesn't mean you are unhappy or spend your life thinking about what would have happened.

 

If you went to jail can you honestly say if you went in a time machine back to the day before you committed the crime you would do it again - b*ll*x.

 

No, I wouldn't change it, as I wouldn't have the life I live now.

 

It would be a different life, one without my daughters for a start and strong possability that it would have been without my wife as well.

 

Events that have passed forged the life I have today so no, I have no regrets about what has been only excitement and a little apprehension at what is to come.

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More wondering about what ifs

 

Happy with my lot in life so all of the cock ups, poor decisions etc are what gave me experience and made me what I am now.

Maintaining a level of fitness that I had from my twenties - now faced with a gargantuan challenge (and gut) to try and get fit. Note to all the nippers out there, once the pounds go on, they are an absolute mutha to get off.

 

Spot on.

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I echo the opinions of a couple of others on here. There are certainly times of my life that I'd like to do over, but I don't know how things would have turned out if I'd done otherwise. In my mid-to-late twenties, I did the offs from ms pap and the kids. To this day, it remains probably my worst decision. I don't like seeing pictures from that era, or even talking about it, because it was the one time that I was a complete and utter selfish nob. As things turned out, we ended up getting back together and are probably stronger for the time apart. The self-justification part of me says that if it hadn't have happened then, it would have happened sooner or later. We had our kids young; had to grow up a lot. Turns out that I didn't grow as much as required.

 

There's two ways to look at that period of my life. I can either shudder every time I think about it, or use it as a template of what not to do. The reality is I do a bit of both.

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No, I wouldn't change it, as I wouldn't have the life I live now.

 

It would be a different life, one without my daughters for a start and strong possability that it would have been without my wife as well.

 

Events that have passed forged the life I have today so no, I have no regrets about what has been only excitement and a little apprehension at what is to come.

 

Don't believe a word of it, there is always some part of your life you could improve. You could have picked the winning lottery numbers last saturday for starters, if you did I doubt you would be having pointless conversations with complete strangers on here, you would be in the Caribbean enjoying your financial security with your wife and kids.

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Don't believe a word of it, there is always some part of your life you could improve. You could have picked the winning lottery numbers last saturday for starters, if you did I doubt you would be having pointless conversations with complete strangers on here, you would be in the Caribbean enjoying your financial security with your wife and kids.

 

What a very odd statement. Not sure you've quite grasped the concept.

 

You continue to be bitter over things you cannot change, I'll continue to look forward to a happy and contented life with my wondeful wife & three great kids.

 

Nevertheless, I don't give a toss what you or others think anyway, you are of no importnace to me.

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Don't believe a word of it, there is always some part of your life you could improve. You could have picked the winning lottery numbers last saturday for starters, if you did I doubt you would be having pointless conversations with complete strangers on here, you would be in the Caribbean enjoying your financial security with your wife and kids.

 

What a very odd statement. Not sure you've quite grasped the concept.

 

You continue to be bitter over things you cannot change, I'll continue to look forward to a happy and contented life with my wondeful wife & three great kids.

 

Nevertheless, I don't give a toss what you or others think anyway, you are of no importnace to me.

 

Aren't there two separate points here? One is about 'is there any aspect of your life that can be improved?' - and the answer is usually yes. The other is 'are you happy with your life as it is?'. Its easily possible for both to be true.

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What a very odd statement. Not sure you've quite grasped the concept.

 

You continue to be bitter over things you cannot change, I'll continue to look forward to a happy and contented life with my wondeful wife & three great kids.

 

Nevertheless, I don't give a toss what you or others think anyway, you are of no importnace to me.

 

I'm not bitter about a single thing. I have a great life, a career doing what I have always wanted to do since the age of 14, a great house, a great wife, family and friends.

 

There is still plenty I would do differently though, even if it's only little things like not wasted money betting on football.

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Aren't there two separate points here? One is about 'is there any aspect of your life that can be improved?' - and the answer is usually yes. The other is 'are you happy with your life as it is?'. Its easily possible for both to be true.

 

We could all, no doubt, improve on our lives. Absolute financial security for a start, but that wasn't the point the OP raised.

 

He poised the question regarding doing anything differently and to that my answer is simply no, as I'm blissfully happy with the life I've got so everything I've done, both good & stupid, have led to this so why would I want to change anything that would change the here & now?

 

To me, those who constantly look back with regret and bitterness, miss the here & know and lose sight of the future.

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Hatch: I'd change a lot of fvvking things.

 

This. I wish my life was so perfect that I could say I wouldn't change anything, or change very little, but it hasn't been.

 

I've made so many mistakes in this life - things I should have done but haven't. things I haven't done but should've. Things I did do but really shouldn't've. It's been one screw up after another.

 

You learn from your mistakes though.

 

I'm far from perfect but my wife loves the soul of me, and the feeling is reciprocated (whatever I say about her is usually in jest) and so where I am in life now, getting paid well (albeit in the wrong job), disposable income, a handful of great friends, my health (barring some minor stuff), my humour (what little of it I have), a comfortable house (albeit rented), loving wife and with a view to starting a family, I'm happy with how my life has turned out. I don't want to think about the future...

 

In spite of that, would I make changes? Sure I'd love to see how my life could turn out if I could go back to being, say, 5 years old, but with the knowledge I have now. Impossible though, and irrelevant, as I'm happy with my lot in life at the present time.

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Surely if you were back at a particular historical decision point, you wouldn't be any better informed as the likely outcomes of the various options, so would inevitably chose the same one.

 

Yes, but if you had the benefit of hindsight to aid the decision would you have done anything different? That's the point for me.

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Aren't there two separate points here? One is about 'is there any aspect of your life that can be improved?' - and the answer is usually yes. The other is 'are you happy with your life as it is?'. Its easily possible for both to be true.

 

Far too sensible Tim. :)

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Yes, but if you had the benefit of hindsight to aid the decision would you have done anything different? That's the point for me.

 

Possibly, but how do you know you would be happier ? Look back at any point in your life, even a relatively minor choice, and consider how the subsequent chain of events might have been affected. For instance, somebody who in reality met their life partner on a bus might with another earlier option, say stopping to buy a newspaper, been sufficiently delayed that they missed that bus, or even got knocked down running to catch it.

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Possibly, but how do you know you would be happier ? Look back at any point in your life, even a relatively minor choice, and consider how the subsequent chain of events might have been affected. For instance, somebody who in reality met their life partner on a bus might with another earlier option, say stopping to buy a newspaper, been sufficiently delayed that they missed that bus, or even got knocked down running to catch it.

 

Such is the beautiful tapestry of things. :)

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Totally agree with that. Happiness is more about a positive attitude to life and view of the world than anything else.

 

You can be perfectly happy and still acknowledge that there are things you could have done better.

 

People you could have treated better, people you could have kept in touch with, moments where you could have behaved better. Times when you could have taken better care of your health or planned better financially.

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To me, those who constantly look back with regret and bitterness, miss the here & know and lose sight of the future.

 

I'm not talking about looking back with bitterness. I'm talking about having things that you would change, this acts as a reminder that you've made mistakes in the past. I'm happy with the life I have and person I am. I agree completely that the mistakes we've made, make us the people we are. However, you can't keep going making the same mistakes. Some regret (although I guess regret is too strong a word, maybe acknowledgement would be better) serves as a lesson and reminds you not to make the same mistakes.

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You can be perfectly happy and still acknowledge that there are things you could have done better.

 

People you could have treated better, people you could have kept in touch with, moments where you could have behaved better. Times when you could have taken better care of your health or planned better financially.

 

Sure, but again it comes down to attitude, how you process the past. Some can use experiences positively for the future and some are guilt ridden or embittered by it. There are some good quotes on the links below - one about the past and one about regret.

 

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/past

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/regret

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Some obvious ones for me, two football based and two moneywise.

 

* Say "yes boss" when told I'm making my debut in the League of Wales in Feb 1996, rather than "I've got a bit of an ankle knock". They went 8 matches without scoring after that whilst I was unavailable, would have been the perfect opportunity to make an impact. Also could have moved nearer the ground and got the club to find me a job in the meantime instead of not being available on Saturdays for a few months due to work commitments. Pushing for a tailored training regime would have been a good idea too.

 

* Get out of the way in August 2000 when the left back I'd been dragging all over the place launched his two-footed assault on my knee from behind, thereby not ruining my knee, which I'm probably having more surgery on soon, 13 years later.

 

* Continue renting when I moved to Southampton in 2006 instead of buying in 2007 which ended up costing me a deposit for the next place, when I could have been sitting pretty with a lump sum as the market collapsed.

 

* Look for a graduate job when I was actually still a student and people were looking for me, rather than 4 months later when I had to find them (and didn't).

 

Still, musssstn't grrrrrumble.

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- Recently had a job interview. Would change a few things I said in that. That said, I haven't had an answer yet so may be alright. Doubt it though.

 

- Couple of people I'd like to have spent more time with. Too late now.

 

- A certain ex I'd like to delete from my life.

 

- Chose not to go to uni as I realised what I wanted to study was a waste of time. Best decision I probably ever made. Now though, I know what I should have gone to uni to study. Would be interesting to see where I'd be now if I knew that then. Hasn't held me back yet but it could do soon knowing where I want my career to go.

 

- Various bets I would have made.

 

Looking at that, it's nothing major. Really can't complain with how my life is right now.

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I wish I had become financially astute at a younger age. I missed out on cracking share saves at work. I should have bought some buy to let's about 15 years ago. My inner radar on shares has been good, I should have followed more of my hunches.

 

I wish I had seen Thin Lizzy and seen more of Ian Dury

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I declared myself a misanthropist at an interview for a really good foreign language/business course at Middlesex Poly. I was the only one not offered a place. Whilst I avoided living in Hendon (went to Bath instead which is a little bit more scenic), I really think my life would have been radically different had I just not been so bloody honest!

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