Whitey Grandad Posted 8 October, 2022 Share Posted 8 October, 2022 4 hours ago, whelk said: Fucking Halloween however you spell it. Stupid US bollocks And a Happy Hallowe’en to you too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted 9 October, 2022 Share Posted 9 October, 2022 22 hours ago, trousers said: I have to admit that it is tough being me, surrounded by idiots all day every day. Getting a job away from the House of Mirrors might help? 🙂 This post was sponsored by ACME Online Gags: Proud Purveyors of Posted Putdowns. 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 9 October, 2022 Share Posted 9 October, 2022 21 hours ago, whelk said: Fucking Halloween however you spell it. Stupid US bollocks Yep. My wife said she was going to take our daughter to a shop yesterday to buy yet more pointless plastic tat to decorate our window with (we already have a bag full of it from last year). Despite my protests that 3 weeks before Halloween is far too early to be doing that, she just ignored me and they did it anyway, covering the living room window in pointless crap while I watched the football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 9 October, 2022 Author Share Posted 9 October, 2022 Martin Tyler saying ‘rapid’ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jawillwill Posted 11 October, 2022 Share Posted 11 October, 2022 People who sign off emails / text messages with a single letter. J. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 13 October, 2022 Share Posted 13 October, 2022 The "What about my town?" brigade whenever a band post their latest tour itinerary on social media. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat Posted 13 October, 2022 Share Posted 13 October, 2022 On 11/10/2022 at 09:49, jawillwill said: People who sign off emails / text messages with a single letter. J. Yes, that really pisses me off. Especially when it's someone I like because it means I lose a little bit of respect for them. Doesn't matter with other people because it helps reinforce why I think they are a twat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 13 October, 2022 Share Posted 13 October, 2022 Yesterday I had the heating off and in the evening it started to feel a bit chilly inside. The thermostat reads 19C, so I turn the heating on and set the temperature to 20C. The thermostat immediately decides it's actually 19.5C, and that's close enough, so doesn't bother turning the heating on. I couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or genuinely impressed that my heating system is a sentient being which apparently shares my laziness. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 13 October, 2022 Share Posted 13 October, 2022 22 minutes ago, Lighthouse said: Yesterday I had the heating off and in the evening it started to feel a bit chilly inside. The thermostat reads 19C, so I turn the heating on and set the temperature to 20C. The thermostat immediately decides it's actually 19.5C, and that's close enough, so doesn't bother turning the heating on. I couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or genuinely impressed that my heating system is a sentient being which apparently shares my laziness. You luck barsteward. I came downstairs yesterday morning to find water dripping from my lounge ceiling. My central heating diverted valve has sprung a leak and I won’t get a replacement until later this afternoon. Then it’s got to be fitted after draining down the system Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 13 October, 2022 Share Posted 13 October, 2022 Mongs that haven't figured out that their 'auto' headlamps don't turn on when it's foggy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stknowle Posted 13 October, 2022 Share Posted 13 October, 2022 On 30/09/2022 at 11:53, trousers said: The growing number of idiots that spell 'ridiculous' as 'rediculous' Rediculous. Rediculous is the correct spelling you ediot. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stknowle Posted 13 October, 2022 Share Posted 13 October, 2022 On 11/10/2022 at 09:49, jawillwill said: People who sign off emails / text messages with a single letter. J. Yep that is really fucking irritating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 13 October, 2022 Share Posted 13 October, 2022 On 11/10/2022 at 09:49, jawillwill said: People who sign off emails / text messages with a single letter. J. Although Outlook will convert a "smiley" to letters on some occasions - 'J' I think is your standard smiley face. Not that that makes it any better signing off an email with a smiley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 14 October, 2022 Author Share Posted 14 October, 2022 LinkedIn suggesting you congratulate some cunt on a work anniversary 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 14 October, 2022 Author Share Posted 14 October, 2022 On 11/10/2022 at 09:49, jawillwill said: People who sign off emails / text messages with a single letter. J. Also when twats type their forename when they have full signature beneath Eg Regards Whelk AA Whelk Sidebottom Head of Something Fucking Pretentious Office 20256 Flat above Fried Chicken and Kebab Shop Portsmouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manuel Posted 14 October, 2022 Share Posted 14 October, 2022 Wrong thread for it but I have recently finished enjoying reruns of all the Cracker episodes and wondered whether Robbie Coltrane was still alive and if he was doing anything. Googled it just a couple of days ago and it seems he'd turned into a bit of a recluse, lives alone and recent pictures of him showed him as appearing quite frail. Not very sympathetically I remembered those New Years "Who's going to die this year" threads that we used to post on and I thought he'd be a good candidate. He died today. Sad news. I liked him on the telly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skintsaint Posted 19 October, 2022 Share Posted 19 October, 2022 On 15/10/2022 at 06:54, Manuel said: Robbie Coltrane was still alive and if he was doing anything. Last I saw him in was Still Game. Not sure what else he had done recently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 19 October, 2022 Share Posted 19 October, 2022 People that put loads of hashtags after even the most mundane social media post. For example a photo of their lunch follows by #tasty #healthylife #eatingout #favouriteplace #cantgetenoughofthisplace #getinmybelly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 19 October, 2022 Share Posted 19 October, 2022 Dog walkers with stretchy dog leads. They’re like a minesweeper with a paravane, scything down anything that gets in their way. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 19 October, 2022 Author Share Posted 19 October, 2022 2 hours ago, Turkish said: People that put loads of hashtags after even the most mundane social media post. For example a photo of their lunch follows by #tasty #healthylife #eatingout #favouriteplace #cantgetenoughofthisplace #getinmybelly nomnom is the one that really irritates me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skintsaint Posted 19 October, 2022 Share Posted 19 October, 2022 the phrase 'living rent free in your head'.... bellends use it all the time, probably the same sort that say top bins, or limbs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdmickey3 Posted 19 October, 2022 Share Posted 19 October, 2022 Football forum bullies who hound posters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toadhall Saint Posted 19 October, 2022 Share Posted 19 October, 2022 Forgetting what I was going to post on this thread! 🤬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 19 October, 2022 Share Posted 19 October, 2022 People who eat on the train. I got on the train at 4.30, it’s too late for lunch and too early for tea, I’m on a table with 3 other people none of which know each other and all of which sat down and started filling their fat, greedy faces with sandwiches, pasta meal deals and crisp. Why the fuck can’t people stop eating? also why do people feel the need to walk around with a water bottle all the time? I don’t mean if you get a bit thirsty and buy sometime but a permanently filled refillable bottle that people endlessly sip from, you never saw that 10 years ago ffs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloggy saint Posted 19 October, 2022 Share Posted 19 October, 2022 9 hours ago, skintsaint said: the phrase 'living rent free in your head'.... bellends use it all the time, probably the same sort that say top bins, or limbs. Or 'absolute unit'. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 20 October, 2022 Share Posted 20 October, 2022 Ant & Dec 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 20 October, 2022 Share Posted 20 October, 2022 (edited) 18 hours ago, Turkish said: why do people feel the need to walk around with a water bottle all the time? I don’t mean if you get a bit thirsty and buy sometime but a permanently filled refillable bottle that people endlessly sip from, you never saw that 10 years ago ffs And why do the majority of these twats insist on squeezing the bottle every 20 seconds thus making loud plastic crunching noises whilst seemingly oblivious as to how much of an annoying twat they are? Twats. Edited 20 October, 2022 by trousers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SotonianWill Posted 20 October, 2022 Share Posted 20 October, 2022 a small person taking up the whole pavement space due to their unnecessary overly massive umbrella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 20 October, 2022 Share Posted 20 October, 2022 The player animations in the corner of the screen during televised football matches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 21 October, 2022 Share Posted 21 October, 2022 On 19/10/2022 at 17:04, Turkish said: People who eat on the train. I got on the train at 4.30, it’s too late for lunch and too early for tea, I’m on a table with 3 other people none of which know each other and all of which sat down and started filling their fat, greedy faces with sandwiches, pasta meal deals and crisp. Why the fuck can’t people stop eating? also why do people feel the need to walk around with a water bottle all the time? I don’t mean if you get a bit thirsty and buy sometime but a permanently filled refillable bottle that people endlessly sip from, you never saw that 10 years ago ffs I'd extend that to the people who can't walk from A to B without a cup of coffee in their hand. Whilst we're on the subject, coffee in general irritates me. It's a hot beverage, it's not the most orgasmic thing ever. I don't understand why people get so worked up by it and I really don't like being stuck behind some pretentious git that takes half an hour to decide on their order and even longer for the poor sod serving to get the drink ready. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 Crap nicknames for groups of people - gym bunnies, footy fans, petrolheads - the terms don't even work! It's just lazy abuse of language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SotonianWill Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 next door neighbour who has a BBQ whenever there is a slight bit of sun, can’t sit in the garden because of it ffs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 31 minutes ago, SotonianWill said: next door neighbour who has a BBQ whenever there is a slight bit of sun, can’t sit in the garden because of it ffs My neighbour burns wood whenever he can, sometimes just for the sake of it. The wind always blows the smoke across our garden and into our house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 22 October, 2022 Author Share Posted 22 October, 2022 (edited) News getting even more obsessed with vox pops. Here we are in Doncaster, Romford, Wolverhampton. Here’s Barry “I think we should have Boris back” countered by Christine “I don’t think we should have him back”. So there you have it opinion is divided. Edited 22 October, 2022 by whelk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jawillwill Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 The term "Trussonomics". You just know there is some journalist somewhere that thinks they are a bloody genius for coming up with it. Thankfully now Truss has gone we won't have to hear it too many more times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 22 October, 2022 Author Share Posted 22 October, 2022 Just now, jawillwill said: The term "Trussonomics". You just know there is some journalist somewhere that thinks they are a bloody genius for coming up with it. Thankfully now Truss has gone we won't have to hear it too many more times. Agree. Simpler term is just knowing fuck all about economics 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 46 minutes ago, whelk said: News getting even more obsessed with vox pops. Here we are in Doncaster, Romford, Wolverhampton. Here’s Barry “I think we should have Boris back” countered by Christine “I don’t think we should have him back”. So there you have it opinion is divided. Yep, agree with this. I watch the news to be educated and listen to informed opinion not to find out what the man on the street thinks. Besides they nearly always do these pieces in a city centre midweek so it’s invariably retired and kids without jobs so it’s hardly representative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 It annoys me that I quite like gogglebox. In theory what could be shitter than watching people watching telly, but it’s mildly amusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 43 minutes ago, Turkish said: It annoys me that I quite like gogglebox. In theory what could be shitter than watching people watching telly, but it’s mildly amusing. Remember, they get paid for watching telly - you don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 9 minutes ago, badgerx16 said: Remember, they get paid for watching telly - you don't. Errr, working from home? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 3 minutes ago, Weston Super Saint said: Errr, working from home? Yes, but your WORK does not involve watching telly, theirs does. ( Unless you are a TV critic ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 2 minutes ago, badgerx16 said: Yes, but your WORK does not involve watching telly, theirs does. ( Unless you are a TV critic ). I’d be brilliant at that job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 Walking into a place that sells coffee and asking for a "black coffee" only for the 12 year old behind the counter to ask: "Do you mean an Americano?" No, you buffoon, I just want a black coffee - I don't care what stupid name you've decided to call it. FFS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 33 minutes ago, trousers said: Walking into a place that sells coffee and asking for a "black coffee" only for the 12 year old behind the counter to ask: "Do you mean an Americano?" No, you buffoon, I just want a black coffee - I don't care what stupid name you've decided to call it. FFS. He probably didn’t understand you because it’s a coffee without milk these days, Black coffee is a racist term. Tsk, such a dinosaur https://southendnewsnetwork.net/news/cafe-orders-customers-to-stop-asking-for-black-coffee-due-to-racism-complaints2/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 12 minutes ago, Turkish said: He probably didn’t understand you because it’s a coffee without milk these days, Black coffee is a racist term. Tsk, such a dinosaur https://southendnewsnetwork.net/news/cafe-orders-customers-to-stop-asking-for-black-coffee-due-to-racism-complaints2/ I… why is this a thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 2 minutes ago, farawaysaint said: I… why is this a thing? It's not. Southend News Network is a parody site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 22 October, 2022 Author Share Posted 22 October, 2022 5 minutes ago, Sheaf Saint said: It's not. Southend News Network is a parody site. Have you spoiled it for Turkish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 22 October, 2022 Share Posted 22 October, 2022 1 minute ago, whelk said: Have you spoiled it for Turkish? Oh shit he’s he has! I had no idea the Southend news wasn’t a serious site. Thank god Bexy is here to correct us 🙏🏼 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 23 October, 2022 Author Share Posted 23 October, 2022 10 hours ago, Turkish said: Oh shit he’s he has! I had no idea the Southend news wasn’t a serious site. Thank god Bexy is here to correct us 🙏🏼 It’s sweet that you thought I thought you didn’t know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 23 October, 2022 Share Posted 23 October, 2022 13 hours ago, Sheaf Saint said: It's not. Southend News Network is a parody site. Amazing 😎 My genius and keen nose for satire has not failed me and in no way do I look like a tit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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