buctootim Posted 31 May, 2022 Share Posted 31 May, 2022 39 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said: In the UK maybe it is. Down by the Mediterranean it can be very pleasant. I had a caravan when the kids were small. Comfy bed and sofa with roof and proper food is like night and day compared with a tent, lilo, leaks and a gas burner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crab Lungs Posted 31 May, 2022 Share Posted 31 May, 2022 3 hours ago, Turkish said: Maybe it’s a small thing you’ve got that annoys her? One weekend, she absolutely cinched it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 31 May, 2022 Share Posted 31 May, 2022 18 minutes ago, buctootim said: I had a caravan when the kids were small. Comfy bed and sofa with roof and proper food is like night and day compared with a tent, lilo, leaks and a gas burner We gave up our tent and bought a caravan well over 30 years ago. For northern Europe it's like having a second home compared to a tent. You're off the ground away from the damp yet still have the open air just outside your door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 31 May, 2022 Share Posted 31 May, 2022 8 hours ago, Turkish said: Camping - it’s shit isn’t it Probably marginally more enjoyable than spending 18+ hours in a shit airport before being told your flight has been cancelled 🤣 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 31 May, 2022 Share Posted 31 May, 2022 6 hours ago, Whitey Grandad said: In the UK maybe it is. Down by the Mediterranean it can be very pleasant. Too hot. For it to be remotely enjoyable you’ve got a sweet spot temperate of about 21-24 degrees, dry and sunny. Anything less than that it’s too cold of an evening and morning, anything above 24 and you’re sweating your bollocks off minute you set foot inside your tent. Don’t even get me started on putting the bloody thing up and down in the heat. Of course rain and wet weather and it’s just a shit thing to do and absolutely mental to think anyone could enjoy it. Then of course the bloody hassle of the whole thing. Couple of hours squeezing all the stuff into you car before you leave, 2-3 hours setting everything up the other end, drying everything off when you get home. It’s not even really a cheap holiday when you take into account the cost of a decent tent and all the bits to go with it, even bloody camping plates and knives and forks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 31 May, 2022 Share Posted 31 May, 2022 3 hours ago, Turkish said: Then of course the bloody hassle of the whole thing. Couple of hours squeezing all the stuff into you car before you leave, 2-3 hours setting everything up the other end, drying everything off when you get home. I never thought I’d be saying this to you Turks but I can achieve an erection in less than 20 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 9 hours ago, Lighthouse said: I never thought I’d be saying this to you Turks but I can achieve an erection in less than 20 minutes. Do you use both hands ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 Putting up a tent is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Unzip the door, put up your pole, and slip into the old bag. Swiss Toni Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 The sound of people chewing makes me irrationally angry and I don’t know what to do about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 3 minutes ago, farawaysaint said: The sound of people chewing makes me irrationally angry and I don’t know what to do about it. You have a recognised disorder known as Misophonia. Not sure it qualifies you for a blue parking badge though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 Delivery companies that think they're being clever by giving you a delivery window "between 13:47 and 14:47". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 5 hours ago, badgerx16 said: Do you use both hands ? Its quicker if you've got someone to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 1 hour ago, buctootim said: Its quicker if you've got someone to help. Get your butler to do it for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 (edited) 19 hours ago, Lighthouse said: I never thought I’d be saying this to you Turks but I can achieve an erection in less than 20 minutes. Getting it up ain’t the problem mate Edited 1 June, 2022 by Turkish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 37 minutes ago, Turkish said: Getting it up ain’t the problem mate Keeping it up on the other hand..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 8 minutes ago, Weston Super Saint said: Keeping it up on the other hand..... I normally sit on the other hand for ten minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyle04 Posted 1 June, 2022 Share Posted 1 June, 2022 9 hours ago, Whitey Grandad said: Get your butler to do it for you. If you can find a decent one who dosen't give it "... that's really not in my remit sir" at the slightest awkward job asked of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Behind Enemy Lines Posted 3 June, 2022 Share Posted 3 June, 2022 On 29/05/2022 at 18:31, Holmes_and_Watson said: As soon as I sit in the garden, someone decides it's time to use power tools in their nearby garden. Our neighbour runs his carpentry business from his back garden. Mon-Fri we hear circular wood sawing, nail guns, his radio, his cursing when it goes wrong, and then there’s the toxic paint spraying as he offers a colour matching service. That gives neighbours headaches. So many laws broken, but do the council care…. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 3 June, 2022 Share Posted 3 June, 2022 10 minutes ago, Behind Enemy Lines said: Our neighbour runs his carpentry business from his back garden. Mon-Fri we hear circular wood sawing, nail guns, his radio, his cursing when it goes wrong, and then there’s the toxic paint spraying as he offers a colour matching service. That gives neighbours headaches. So many laws broken, but do the council care…. Maybe try a well positioned garden sprinkler...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted 3 June, 2022 Share Posted 3 June, 2022 12 minutes ago, Behind Enemy Lines said: Our neighbour runs his carpentry business from his back garden. Mon-Fri we hear circular wood sawing, nail guns, his radio, his cursing when it goes wrong, and then there’s the toxic paint spraying as he offers a colour matching service. That gives neighbours headaches. So many laws broken, but do the council care…. Ugh! I should paste mine into the things that give me joy thread, with the addendum that it could be a lot worse. Like you've got. I hope your neighbour doesn't mind the odd slip from your new drum and bass studio waking them up at 3am every night. If only that giant speaker could be moved from right next to their property... 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Behind Enemy Lines Posted 3 June, 2022 Share Posted 3 June, 2022 The problem is, he revels in knowing he’s annoying people. We won’t stop harassing the council and other places until something is done. Then you’re all welcome to a drum and bass party with a foam sprinkler in the garden 😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan The Flames Posted 4 June, 2022 Share Posted 4 June, 2022 (edited) On 01/06/2022 at 13:37, farawaysaint said: The sound of people chewing makes me irrationally angry and I don’t know what to do about it. I've got that, it worse when I'm tired. Chewing and crunching of plastic bottles. It's an annoying thing to have and everyone thinks (including myself) that I'm an intolerant cunt. For me that's the key to controlling it; when it happens, I recognise that the problem is mine not the noise maker and I have a word with myself. Not easy though. My brother in law, in recent years, has started 'tasting' every mouthful of drink, he's like a baby goat and eating so fast he gets out of breath. Fortunately it drives everyone else just as mad. Edited 4 June, 2022 by Fan The Flames Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 4 June, 2022 Share Posted 4 June, 2022 The phrase “platty joobz” is currently a thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 5 June, 2022 Author Share Posted 5 June, 2022 11 hours ago, Lighthouse said: The phrase “platty joobz” is currently a thing. Whenever I say it I am thinking Platty Jubes. Bloody kids put z’s on everything these days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted 5 June, 2022 Share Posted 5 June, 2022 On 29/05/2022 at 18:31, Holmes_and_Watson said: As soon as I sit in the garden, someone decides it's time to use power tools in their nearby garden. On Thursday, the other half and son went to some jubilee thing in town. I declined as I hate people and wanted to potter in the garden quietly with a pair of secateurs. As soon as they'd left, I went outside and all I got was an orchestra of power tools, like everyone in the area was trolling me and my silence. Wankers. I was so fucked off, I went and joined the family in the throng of the general public morons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 6 June, 2022 Share Posted 6 June, 2022 My daughter's school being closed on the Friday before and the Monday after the half term holiday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 6 June, 2022 Share Posted 6 June, 2022 When you drop a screw on the floor and it disappears without trace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeBizzier69 Posted 8 June, 2022 Share Posted 8 June, 2022 As it's been more prevalent recently.....i REALLY fcuking hate the stupid dance footballers do (even the women are doing it now) when they win a tournament/significant match. You know the one, jumping on the spot and waving each arm up and down. Oh, and the socks rolled up over the knees a la John Terry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 8 June, 2022 Share Posted 8 June, 2022 People sharing holiday photos on social media with cocky captions like, "how’s your week going?" You went on holiday, well done; this time next week you’ll be back pushing spreadsheets around some office meeting which could have been an email. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloggy saint Posted 8 June, 2022 Share Posted 8 June, 2022 Why do football clubs always 'demand' transfer fees, why can't they ask nicely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 11 June, 2022 Share Posted 11 June, 2022 Having to put subtitles on virtually every drama and film. I’m not going deaf, it’s actors mumbling their lines in the pursuit of authenticity. Fucking annoying. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skintsaint Posted 12 June, 2022 Share Posted 12 June, 2022 Applying for a job and the website trying to pull info from your CV to fill all the information. Its normally all over the place and takes twice as long as have to make sure your name isn't your email address etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 12 June, 2022 Share Posted 12 June, 2022 On 08/06/2022 at 16:42, cloggy saint said: Why do football clubs always 'demand' transfer fees, why can't they ask nicely? Deters the swooping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee On Solent Saint Posted 12 June, 2022 Share Posted 12 June, 2022 Ed Sheeran Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stknowle Posted 12 June, 2022 Share Posted 12 June, 2022 (edited) On 08/06/2022 at 16:42, cloggy saint said: Why do football clubs always 'demand' transfer fees, why can't they ask nicely? Because they get fed up with the player in question being 'eyed' by the potential buying club. Edited 12 June, 2022 by stknowle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stknowle Posted 12 June, 2022 Share Posted 12 June, 2022 Flies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpsaint Posted 12 June, 2022 Share Posted 12 June, 2022 Booking a time slot at the tip, like we’re supposed to do, then turning up at your allotted time only to find a queue because the staff aren’t bothering to police it properly and are letting any old cunt in, so I needn’t have booked in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 13 June, 2022 Share Posted 13 June, 2022 When your freezer dies and you have to eat the entire contents in 24 hours - washed down with ice cream juice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 13 June, 2022 Share Posted 13 June, 2022 (edited) On 08/06/2022 at 13:34, Lighthouse said: People sharing holiday photos on social media with cocky captions like, "how’s your week going?" You went on holiday, well done; this time next week you’ll be back pushing spreadsheets around some office meeting which could have been an email. on that note people posting photos of their feet at the end of a sunbed, why? no one wants to see your frigging feet. Edited 13 June, 2022 by Turkish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 13 June, 2022 Share Posted 13 June, 2022 11 minutes ago, Turkish said: on that note people posting photos of their feet at the end of a sunbed, why? no one wants to see your frigging feet. https://www.healthline.com/health/foot-fetish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 14 June, 2022 Author Share Posted 14 June, 2022 Turning nouns into verbs. How do you laptop ask Google Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 14 June, 2022 Author Share Posted 14 June, 2022 On 12/06/2022 at 22:50, bpsaint said: Booking a time slot at the tip, like we’re supposed to do, then turning up at your allotted time only to find a queue because the staff aren’t bothering to police it properly and are letting any old cunt in, so I needn’t have booked in the first place. Turning up with a bag of stones amounting to about a kilogram and being told it will cost you £1179 to throw it in the tip 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 14 June, 2022 Share Posted 14 June, 2022 19 minutes ago, whelk said: Turning up with a bag of stones amounting to about a kilogram and being told it will cost you £1179 to throw it in the tip There's a place at Shedfield Equestrian Centre that takes rubble for free. Just drive right to the end and they will take care of you. https://lockhamsrecycling.co.uk/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyle04 Posted 14 June, 2022 Share Posted 14 June, 2022 1 hour ago, whelk said: Turning up with a bag of stones amounting to about a kilogram and being told it will cost you £1179 to throw it in the tip They've stopped taking nuclear waste lately as well. fucking ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 14 June, 2022 Author Share Posted 14 June, 2022 2 minutes ago, kyle04 said: They've stopped taking nuclear waste lately as well. fucking ridiculous. I have always paid my council tax but apparently I now have to put my asbestos in the cut way as these snowflakes refuse to take it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloggy saint Posted 15 June, 2022 Share Posted 15 June, 2022 14 hours ago, whelk said: Turning nouns into verbs. How do you laptop ask Google Good one! One of the most annoying examples is how 'party' became a verb. And while I'm here, when people are on the radio they're no longer allowed to say hello to family and friends, they have to give a 'shout out'. WTF is a shout out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLaw76 Posted 15 June, 2022 Share Posted 15 June, 2022 46 minutes ago, cloggy saint said: Good one! One of the most annoying examples is how 'party' became a verb. And while I'm here, when people are on the radio they're no longer allowed to say hello to family and friends, they have to give a 'shout out'. WTF is a shout out? Add ‘big up’ to that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skintsaint Posted 15 June, 2022 Share Posted 15 June, 2022 6 minutes ago, AlexLaw76 said: Add ‘big up’ to that 'big up to my crew' get fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 15 June, 2022 Author Share Posted 15 June, 2022 Pretty much any cunt that takes time to send an inane message to a Radio DJ or show. “Loving the music getting through my hangover before my holiday” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 16 June, 2022 Author Share Posted 16 June, 2022 Media issuing tips for what to do in hot weather. What? I shouldn’t stay in sun all day and not drink any water? Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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